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for Animal Unleashed

4/26/2018 c1 ZooFan
You should add another chapter because this story is amazing
7/28/2015 c1 20Uzumaki Meme
"Nosebleed" it didn't effect me "more bleeding"
Damn! This was really hot! I don't think they were OOC at all. So you shouldn't worry about that. And I loved this fic!
I really love it when Kiba acts all feral with Naruto. I was just thinking the other day of how hot it would be to read a fic where, Kiba's extra sensitive smell senses Naruto's scent and likes it. So yay! Thank you very much! This is just what I was looking for.

( 。・_・。)人(。・_・。 )

( F ) ( i ) ( r ) ( e ) ( b ) ( a ) ( l ) ( l ) - ( F ) ( u ) ( c ) ( h ) ( s ) ( i ) ( a )
8/28/2013 c1 1Trickit
Great story, fun idea, characters were represented well and it was / oh so very hot. Only thing I have to complain about is a few minor grammatical errors. Other than that, fantastic read I hope you continue writing.
8/22/2013 c1 tygereyeofthedead
I think I could pass out from the awesomeness of this yaoi. Loved it keep up the good work.
8/2/2013 c1 2skyglazingMaro
That was hot and so yummy.
6/13/2013 c1 KITTY-SPRINKLES-96
I loved this! I'm always trying to look for some good Kiba & Naruto fics and let me tell you something. . . Your fic is definitely good. It's not just good. It's super-duper fantastic! I just had to check the Favorite Story box.
4/12/2013 c1 3okuma
Really nice, encore! Nah jk, keep up the good work (and please write more of this pairing)
4/3/2013 c1 7Paradox en Vogue
Not bad not bad at all. Personally I prefer a little more substance in the fight/rivalry between them before getting down to business, especially when it's borderline rape, but that's just me. Since your author name is taken from him, mind writing a kura/naru fic or two? A kura/kiba would be a first for the site too. I've been looking for an author to bounce ideas off of since Living Paradox passed away...
3/30/2013 c1 140Dana-Eliza
Okay amazing title! I like it already. I am going to write stuff here as I am reading, so I get out every bit
The first thing I noticed is that you are already detailed and it still makes an easy read. Your vocabulary is big and that is always good and already some funny hints that fit Kiba and Naruto together... You do have to pay attention to how long you make your sentences. You use a lot of commas and almost no dots ;) Just shorten your sentences sometimes,

I am very happy with the whole fighting scene. This is one of my flaws. I find it very difficult to write these things and you go all out. Using the jutsus, so showing off you did your research. Research is always good! Bonus points for this. You are descriptive and use their personalities right so their egos clash. Yes, the fight is going exactly right.

You use dog-breath a lot. I think Naruto would use Kiba's real name at some point, but that is my opinion. Foxy is different, because it's used teasingly as well and not just as an insult.

Very nicely done with the animal submissive and dominant part. Yeah, that is what I expect of Kiba... The growling and the making the other submissive with it.

Okay, this is one of my pet peeves, but talking about sizes and such is a not done for me XD Really just a matter of likes and dislikes, so if you like it, keep on writing it down! I just never do ;)

This is just a tip I got from a writer who checked a manuscript of mine once: Try making people talk in the same paragraph, not two after each other. It confuses, because you expect the other to start talking. And don't begin every sentence with someone talking. Mix it up a little and let someone talk at the end of the paragraph!

Alright, now the sex scene. I'm glad you didn't forget the prepping, because I was once told you should not forget :P I think you could've made the foreplay a little longer and with a little more detail. Where was the kiss? And what did the blowjob feel like for either Kiba or Naruto. I don't mind you didn't pay much attention to the prepping though. It can be very sexy, but if you are doing the blowjob at the same time, it's not necessary to focus on.
The dirty talk was good, teasing Kiba. Kiba should be teasing and it fits him. A second round was good, because it is always nice if they change positions. And the biting! Yes, nicely done! Should've been in there and it was and it was done right!
The third time coming for Naruto made me wonder if that could actually happen? It seemed a little odd to me, but I don't know really :P

The ending was fantastic! Naruto marking Kiba right back ;) You did the characters right in my opinion! Still the most important part in a Naruto-verse story, so job well done :)

And for a first time lemon you did a great job sweetie. You did a much better job than I did with my first oneshot :) Just keep on writing and you will become amazing! Looking forward to the second one ;)
3/30/2013 c1 9BloodWolvesAndGuns

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