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for Education of Moka

9/2/2013 c1 2te.nellis
That wasa pretty good chapter
4/4/2013 c1 FM Celt
Good work! I really enjoyed this. There is a few spelling mistakes but otherwise I like how this is written. It's a very good start for your first story.

RightWrong has a point about Tsukune confessing he's a human to Moka twice, but I guess she was'nt listening the first time. You could tweak that part to make Moka interrupt Tsukune before he can tell her he's human. Or not, that's just a suggestion.

Update soon!

- FMC
4/3/2013 c1 1RightWrong
I liked this story, you obviously changed Moka's personality just a tad but the story is really good and works very well; she still feels completely like Moka.

I did find one potential problem. Tsukune essentially confesses he's a human already, and then later on she's shocked when he confesses it again:

"Oh Tsukune what kind of monster are?" Asked the pink haired beauty. 'Human, what other creature could have blood that satisfying.' Was the reply whispered from the depths of her mind. She already knew what he was since tasting his blood.

"Ah hu...human." he said

"Sorry I forgot the rule about not telling anyone about our monster heritage." Smart answer slippery boy.

[...]

What if I told you that I was one of those dreadful human scum?"

Moka was shocked by this revelation. He openly confessed to being a human.

Other than that, very entertaining story, look forward to updates.
4/3/2013 c1 5Scrottimus
please continue this. this is really good take on this story. there were a few misspelled words but thats to be expected.

seriously, this story is a breath of fresh air from all the oc crap that has been posted lately.
4/2/2013 c1 12Gamera68
LOL, loved it!
You should definitely have a POV from Tsukune.

Oh, this:

"I swear I'll punch him if he asks if we sparkle."

Classic!

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