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for A Shattered Heart

1/3/2019 c3 56EdTheBeast
Interesting, as well as confusing.
7/28/2014 c1 2obliviated fan
I really hope you continue this eventually.

I would dearly love to see the original Hermione have a chance to redeem herself. If it were a time-travel fic like this apparently was originally planned as, it would be easier, but even with a mirror world it's still possible. I can think of a few possibilities right off the bat.

Don't worry that I'm not Following the story - I've got it downloaded in my reader app, and I update the stories there every so often, to catch new chapters. I'm sure I'm not the only one that does that, either. I just wish that other sites I read on also had reader apps like the one I use for FFN.
1/23/2014 c3 mattcun
plz write more
8/14/2013 c3 11Herne-of-the-lantern
Strange, but i'll wait a little longer to see how the story goes.
8/11/2013 c3 Schirman
Keep going, I like this story.
8/11/2013 c3 Guest
Nah you've lost me. Much prefered your original idea.
8/10/2013 c3 1Hannah Bowers
i really want to see where this gos
8/10/2013 c3 EzuTheDarkLord
this could be very good looking forward to the next chapter, thought if you can make them longer that would be great.
8/10/2013 c3 pawsrule
Love it! Look forward to seeing what happens next. Well written.
8/10/2013 c3 Guest
So, I'm certainly not going to lie. Your first chapter didn't exactly endear me to the story but it popped up again and it has potential. I'm not quite sure what you were saying in the AN of your first chapter, do you mean that male harems are not possible? but female harems are?

However, you do have something different here. Obviously, Harry's landed himself in an AU, but I'm glad his parents are alive. I wonder what the problems he had at home were about?

I'm glad you mentioned overcoming their pasts, I don't either of them are easily going to forget what happened. It's be nice to see them growing from it.

""Hello there Master. What can your Mudblood do for you today.""
"Hello Master, what can your Mudblood do for you today?"

A little description of the srrondings would also help flesh out your story.

"As Harry slowly pulled away from her, he gently lead her to the bed and patted to his side once he sat down. When she joined him on the bed, h Harry began his story. "For nearly the last two year, the spirit of Tom Riddle, known moreso as Voldemort, has been in control of my body. It basically became his because each time I wrote in that diary of his, the more my soul was sucked from my body and his replaced what had been lost until I wasn't there any more, just an echo like he had been.""

Harry pulled away from her and led her gently to the bed. It was the biggest feature in the room, a four poster bed with sheets in true Gryffindor colours; red and gold. He sat down and patted to his right; once Hermione had settled down by his side, he began telling his story.

"For nearly the last two year, the spirit of Tom Riddle, known moreso as Voldemort, has been in control of my body -" Hermione's eyes widened at the moniker but to his satisfaction, she did not flinch "-it basically became his. It was that diary, Hermione; that bloody diary. Each time I wrote in it, the more my soul was sucked from my body and his replaced what had been lost until I wasn't there any more, just an echo like he had been."

Now I feel like I'm hogging your story. Seriously, I don't mean it like that, I just couldn't explain what I meant so I wrote that out. A little bit of feeling in the dialouge and more descriptions would help the reader get more invovled with the story.

I don't think you need to justify a D/S relationship at all. It's just a way people show their needs and trust in one another.
8/2/2013 c2 pawsrule
This is interesting and well written. Can you tell me if its going to be a harem story. I can't continue to read if it is.
8/2/2013 c2 EzuTheDarkLord
this could be interesting but am not sure.
8/2/2013 c2 LuckyJokes
Nope, don't like it. Good stuff though. I congratulate you on writing since I never had the patience for it. But this is where I say goodbye. Keep writing though. People do like this. Just not me.
4/10/2013 c1 eayala8
I was shocked...but you have imagination and talent. Where is the ressurection stone when you need it...And that time turner or whatever it was called...this marriage can be saved! forgive me...I am one for happy endings...but no matter how this turns out...good story so far.
4/9/2013 c1 4HarryHermioneEdwardBella
nice start
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