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for Harry Potter and the Way It Should Be

9/16/2013 c1 2rb2312
Nice start

Interesting mix of potter and skyrim. That reminds me. I haven't played that in a while.

As to how they get to hogwarts. Either amelia can take them or they could fly on the dragon tgat took harry to the leeky cauldren.

As you mention only molly and ron in on the plans for harry, i am hoping that ginny is an inocent pawn. Conditioned by molly since birth to love harry. So when ron slips him the potion she just thinks her dream has come true. (Would make a change)

Obviously soul mate number 5 is fleur. Can not wait to see who the others are.
Hoping one is katie bell. May be su li from ravenclaw. Giving him at least one girl from each house

Not luna though. Think she should hook up with neville. Along with hanna (film and book loves) and possibly ginny. Just to mess with the plans of molly abd dumbles

If possible could you sef bill up with a veela cousin of fleur's that way he still gets to piss molly off when he marrys a veela

Hope amilia can use the will to get the mutt out if his island hell hole early.

Hope headwig dobby fred and dora (tonks) servive. Would be nice us sirius and remus do too.

Being bound to hermione susan and daphne, i am guessing harry will be taking different electives thus time round.

Wonder what you plan for harry wuth him being the founders heir.

Also can not wait for a certain tabby animagus and greasy git to remember they are some of harry's god parents and rip albus a new one

Guessing amilia is going after tge old goat too after he usurpt her role as gaurdian and blocked harry up to his eyes

Well on to chapter two
9/14/2013 c3 Linda
I really like your story but if your going to take Hermione out of the soul bond then really you would have to rewrite your frist two chapters. Because Hermione should not even no she is back from the future.
9/14/2013 c3 5Le Diablo Blanc2
love that kiatie and tracey are being used glad Hermione isn't one of the soul bonds as she makes a better sister?anychance of adding Astoria?
9/14/2013 c3 chipmunk1964
I really like the start to this story i am a bit confused about the three soul mates that he starts with cause if you change hermione as one of the original mates who are you replacing her with you don't explain that in the update here or are you taking her out all together please let me know other then that i think the story so far is great i like that you brought back his parents and a little bit more background on how olaf is susans father would be great i also liked the part where they rode a dragon to hogwarts
9/14/2013 c3 CuriousGuest
Overpowered Harry FTW!
9/13/2013 c3 naruto saiyan00
good story
9/13/2013 c3 2HP-DG-AP-PN-RG-NR
I'm reading this and realizing just how much work this thing actually needs to be a proper well written story...
1- When people are talking, as in a dialogue scene, separate the lines of the different people talking, make it less confusing for everyone who attempts to read this thing that is being passed off as a story.
2- Harry's inheritance is very overdone, it needs to be cut down, as in lessened and made slightly more realistic, as much as realistic passes off in fanfiction.
3- Big harems don't work. Completely unrealistic and overdone. Cut back the amount of girls to 2 or 3, it will make your life easier, and make a lot more sense of actually working out.
4- As for the Skyrim crossover, you might want to rethink that, it was doomed from the start to be incredibly confusing for everyone. I suggest you completely chop out this idea from the story,.
5- Learn to spell properly and consistently. Your punctuation rules need work, as does your grammar and sentence structure.
6- You might want to plan out the plot/story line a little more in detail, and then slow everything down and write detailed chapters for everything. That will make it much easier to understand your story.

These are the 6 big things I can think of right now off the top of my head. There are probably more than this, but I'm sure you could figure it out yourself. I hope that you'll consider my advice and restart your story with a better, more thought out plot.

8/24/2013 c2 4Kalladin1989
Great story. Can't wait for next chapter. What house are you going to resort them into our are you going to make a new house? Who are the other soul mates?
7/2/2013 c2 shadow7002
cant wait to read more hope there is more? its so good
5/30/2013 c1 1LillyPheonix
While I enjoy reading the concept of your story, there are many errors that need revision. I would list them, however, my fellow readers already have pointed them out in previous replies. A lot of authors make mistakes that are often missed when they self edit, I would suggest finding a Beta to help with the editting. If you need any assistance please let me know.
5/22/2013 c1 8AlaskanKing
Good idea, but a little too fast and over the top. Cut back on the money and the magical gifts. It's too much. I would go with the Ratio of 1 Knut is 5 cents. Which would make the Sickle about $1.45 and a Galleon a little under $25. And for the Magical gifts, just keep it simple. Animagus, partial metamorphous( we know he is because of the horrible haircut), maybe a an affinity for some magic. Lily had an affinity for Charms and Potions. James was good at Transfiguration. Harry has always been good at Defense. Maybe you make him more in tune with Wandless and the Mind arts. A lot of authors make a mistake of trying to make Harry GODLIKE. I would recommend him be Powerful, but still human.
Also give a little background. Describe the scene. What is the area Harry ended up look like? What does Death and Fate look like? Why is Death meeting Harry and why is he taking him to see fate? Why would Harry want to go back?...etc.
Also would recommend not having the HUGE paragraphs. Break them down to smaller paragraphs. It is easier for people to read and doesn't all run together.
It is a good idea, but it needs some work. Good luck with it.
5/15/2013 c2 19Lord Mesron
While you have some interesting points in your story, it is moving way too quickly. I think you are trying to add too much into it at too quick a rate. You might want to slow down the pace. This is not meant to be a flame, but rather some constructive criticism.
4/23/2013 c2 Darkcrest27
interesting you might want to either double check for spelling errors or get a beta reader. you have trail instead of trial
4/19/2013 c2 2Penny is wise
Awesome story so far.
4/18/2013 c2 god of all
Great chapter story so far please continue this story soon.
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