Just In
for The Beginning

2/19/2015 c1 1Megan Justine
I'm just wondering as to if you will be continuing with this story... because you have a great idea :) You can shape the way our minds precieve this phenominal series and transfrom your own beginning! I just worry that because ofthe amount of time this story has not been updated, (as I know it can be hard,) maybe you've lost touch with this connection to the story line. Im not saying you did, but don't give up! Please write for you and no one else :) I'll be waiting for your next chapter:)
1/25/2014 c1 13DELETEDACCOUNT143577883589
I too, write SYOT's (actually, currently, I am writing one and if you need help feel free to PM me) and since you've reviewed to my SYOT, it's my turn to review to yours.

I looked, and looked, and looked, but there seem to be NO FLAWS in your writing style. Of course, when writing dialogue it would be easier to use " instead of ' but that's not really a flaw. I may suggest a tribute limit (so one person isn't filling up half of your Tribute List) and maybe a longer form (although it would be a pain to fill out) so that you would have more details. The more details, the better the chance of deadlocking the character's personality, appearance, history, etc, perfectly. You can even use my form if you like.

Any who, you have a good idea going, but here are some tips to make your Games more believable:

1) Although the Capitol is all about perfection and they would look everything over not once but more than enough time, it is the FIRST GAMES. So there will be flaws here and there (maybe no forecfield at the Training Centre roof, maybe a few fights in the actual Training Centre, etcetera)

2) Again, since this is the first Games the stylists and escorts will be very confused on their job. Maybe make a District late to Training, or maybe a district forgets to go the Chariot Rides

3) The Arena will be a very important part in this Games. You don't have to do this, but maybe make the arena simple. Not the woods, but maybe a desert. Or maybe an arena with no trees (remember in HG book when Gale told Katniss there will be trees and she filled us in on the one year that there had been no trees at all, and the Games didn't last very long) put flaws in the arena, maybe no mutts or they forget to put water or a food source.

Those are just a few things. I really do link your story and I will be following it to see where it goes. Good Luck!
12/30/2013 c1 2Bluejay402
Thanks for reviewing my story (Accidental Love). If you keep reviewing my story I will do the same with yours. Here's some Tributes you can add into your story (if you want).
Name: Emma Bradford
Nickname: Em
Age: 13
Gender: Girl
District: 10
Volunteered for older sister (people are shocked a girl so young volunteers) (doesn't have to be that way. You can chose if she's reaped or volunteers)
Appearance: Honey Blond hair with light golden highlights, just above her chest, slight waves. Hazel eyes. Pale skin
Qualities/characteristics- Persuasive, confident, brave, caring, sweet, outgoing, stronger than she looks, charming, humble
Leader: Pretty head strong for her age
Family: Mother is sick, Older brother ran away but was captured by the capitol and turned into an Avox, and Father left Emma when she was little (9 to be exact).
Back-story: Abused as a child, by her father. Her hate for her father, the Capitol and The Hunger Games secretly grows stronger everyday but her good still out-weights the bad.
Strengths: resourceful, quick on her feet, sly, creative, hyper, can go days without eating, cautious, not easily scared
Weaknesses: clumsy, sometimes she can't make up her mind, easy to gain her trust
Weapon of choice: Knives and Combat (which she was taught by her brother before he ran away and after her father left)
Token: A violet hair band with a small silver butterfly on it. Her mother made it to remind her where she is from and who she truly is.
Interview Angle:Strong, fast, witty, and humble all at the same time. (Kind of like a girl version of Peeta).
Game Strategy: make few allies, stay around water, hide but keep moving, don't kill unless necessary
Alliances- Her district partner (Macon Lightwood), District 12 tribute (Lydia Pintray. Age 14. Light Brown wavy Hair, Brown eyes, a fair Skin. Positive, SUPER smart (like foxface smart, maybe smarter), kind, caring, selfless, funny, determined, quiet, independent when needed. She's good at making or finding hiding places and hiding in general. Loves the outdoors especially the woods. She can climb trees really well. She can learn how to do anything in a short amount of time. She's soft so she hesitates when fighting. She has an older Brother too, and a younger sister (baby), her parents have been overwhelmed by the new baby so she often felt invisible, that's why she trains so hard. She lives in the Seam but her best friend is the butcher's daughter who sneaks her some of stores leftover meat scraps so her family has something to eat. Her weapons are a sling shot and a spear-made both herself when she sneaks off to the woods to be alone. She is so smart when fighting she always knows her opponent's next move and she observes her opponent and quickly figures out their token is a rock she carved into a Heart and she wears it as a necklace. She is a follower always has been. She was reaped and her brother was too scared to volunteer. Her interview angle is cute, adorable, likable, funny, and technological (like a mixture of foxface's and peeta's interview). Her game strategy is to hide, use surrounding resources, make allies, and avoid fighting. Her allies are Emma and sort of Macon)
6/17/2013 c1 9HawkwardDolphin
I'm really excited for this! I'm gonna send my tribute by PM like some others have.
5/15/2013 c1 4Rachelalicexx
Really good keep going
5/11/2013 c1 Ares the Gamemaker
Hey, I like the game number choice
May I suggest something to both your readers and to you as the writer. Since this is the very first Hunger Games, there will be no careers since they don't know about the games yet. And nobody is gonna get good during the night of the announcement; Therefore, all the districts will have a pretty much even chance of winning. And the volunteer rate will increase also, since the districts don't quite get the gist of it until later.
Good job on the chapter, I thought you nailed it.
I'm gonna submit my tribute via PM, just to keep his strategy a secret.
5/10/2013 c1 4jakeboy4914
Nice first chapter but for the reapings it would be cool if you could do longer ones, anyone else who sees this please read my story also, the gladiator tournament. I will send my characters in by p.m
hopefully you can get D1 up as soon as possible, also you should do like a tribute list for chapter 2 so people know which spots are taken.
4/18/2013 c1 1ChaoticBluix
This is really interesting. I am currently writing up the 25th games by the point of view of my own tribute. I would like to send a tribute, but what information will you need?

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service