for Tangled: The Missing Princess2/15/2015 c3 Lilla
PLEASE post the rest
PLEASE post the rest
1/24/2015 c1 Carlin B
Please please please post the rest!
Please please please post the rest!
4/12/2014 c1 Sydney
Can, you make a story on Rapunzel's daughter?
Can, you make a story on Rapunzel's daughter?
8/9/2013 c3 
27crankyman7
I only saw Tangled once. I thought it was alright, though it wasn't really my thing. Still, since I have at least some familiarity with the film that inspired this story, I figured I'd take a look.
I'm going to be honest- your story needs work. You've got an interesting premise, but you're rushing through the plot at a blinding pace. I don't feel like I know the characters or have a reason to care about them at this point. I'm going to suggest you expand your chapters into lengthier pieces before going further. Add some more description and take your time. We can afford to wait a couple of chapters for the next big plot development so that you can spend an adequate amount of time setting things up.
Also, you don't have to type everything in bold- that's usually saved for special circumstance, such as chapter titles or when you're describing what's written on a sign or billboard.
I'm not a troll- I just want to see your story be the best that it can be. So don't give up just because I didn't care for your efforts. Instead, use the feedback I and other users give you to improve your writing, until you've got something really special.
I repeat- don't give up. Keep writing, and keep reading many different kinds of books. The more exposure to the writings of others you get, and the more practice you have at writing yourself, the better you'll get.
27crankyman7I only saw Tangled once. I thought it was alright, though it wasn't really my thing. Still, since I have at least some familiarity with the film that inspired this story, I figured I'd take a look.
I'm going to be honest- your story needs work. You've got an interesting premise, but you're rushing through the plot at a blinding pace. I don't feel like I know the characters or have a reason to care about them at this point. I'm going to suggest you expand your chapters into lengthier pieces before going further. Add some more description and take your time. We can afford to wait a couple of chapters for the next big plot development so that you can spend an adequate amount of time setting things up.
Also, you don't have to type everything in bold- that's usually saved for special circumstance, such as chapter titles or when you're describing what's written on a sign or billboard.
I'm not a troll- I just want to see your story be the best that it can be. So don't give up just because I didn't care for your efforts. Instead, use the feedback I and other users give you to improve your writing, until you've got something really special.
I repeat- don't give up. Keep writing, and keep reading many different kinds of books. The more exposure to the writings of others you get, and the more practice you have at writing yourself, the better you'll get.
7/28/2013 c3 2TheRealMerlin
Oh no. Second to last chapter. Yay! Another chapter! Now I sound like Rapunzel! :)
2TheRealMerlinOh no. Second to last chapter. Yay! Another chapter! Now I sound like Rapunzel! :)
7/28/2013 c2 TheRealMerlin
I like how everything is in bold, it seems to really get my attention! :)
And I think it cool that they based aspects of the kingdom on the sun. Corona comes from the outer layer of the sun you can only see in a solar eclipse. Plus that little drop of sun had do to mostly with the movie's events, and then Rapunzel was even more the sun princess! Lol You're doing a great job!
I like how everything is in bold, it seems to really get my attention! :)
And I think it cool that they based aspects of the kingdom on the sun. Corona comes from the outer layer of the sun you can only see in a solar eclipse. Plus that little drop of sun had do to mostly with the movie's events, and then Rapunzel was even more the sun princess! Lol You're doing a great job!
7/4/2013 c3 Guest
Great!
Great!
5/23/2013 c1 10four-nostril
In my browser, all the text appeares in Bold font, which makes it harder to read. See if you can change that in doc manager.
"Her baby girl was gone, and with her own eyes saw the kidnapping!" Instead try: *she had seen the kidnapping.
10four-nostrilIn my browser, all the text appeares in Bold font, which makes it harder to read. See if you can change that in doc manager.
"Her baby girl was gone, and with her own eyes saw the kidnapping!" Instead try: *she had seen the kidnapping.
4/25/2013 c3 Nanna-ler Frost
I tp into the tower and take lil rapunzle and tp back to the castle and I plop her down in her crib with a njote that says here I found your baby so ya and here is the bad lady mother gothale Is knocked out and tied to the crib and then she is hanged and rapunzle is back YAY ! the end
I tp into the tower and take lil rapunzle and tp back to the castle and I plop her down in her crib with a njote that says here I found your baby so ya and here is the bad lady mother gothale Is knocked out and tied to the crib and then she is hanged and rapunzle is back YAY ! the end