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for Luke: Spiritbound

6/4/2013 c2 25buslimpan
This is intresting. I wonder what happened to Luke and why he is there.
5/8/2013 c2 2Victoria-White-Cat
This was short but I still really liked it :)
4/27/2013 c1 25Nixi Stasia
Okay, well the idea looks good so far, and I must say that I am veru intrigued to know exactly what is going on. However, there are several mistakes. I'd go through it a couple times. Also it can be slightly hard to follow and you jump topics quite often.

For example, in the first paragraph, you say he can't feel his fingers or his feet. Then, jump to the surroundings. I'd suggest that you explain more about how Luke feels at this very sudden transformation, and then start another paragraph which describes the surroundings.
4/27/2013 c1 2Victoria-White-Cat
Ooooooh :3 this seems scary and exciting...I like it!

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