Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Journey

8/19/2013 c2 Sadiera
This is a very good story so far. Hoping you continue :)
5/17/2013 c2 Guest
AWESOME! I hope you keep writeing.
5/14/2013 c1 14Icy Mike Molson
Hmmm. An interesting entry from a land where that damn drow renegade conquers reason ansd sanity.
Technically sound, there is nontheless something about this narrative that bothers me. I feel as though it might be too much of an information dump at first. Of the first two thousand words, over 1700 are deovgted to background. While it is admirable that the Rageclaw orcs have a society and purpose other than fodder for Drizzt to kill, it is a bit much to force on the reader all at once. Your first paragraphs have to hook the reader, draw them in and hold them. Beware too much information all at once. Spread it through the dialogue as well as give narrative exposition. For example, if Argen has a problem with other orcs, perhaps the first scene should show him dealing with the orcs of his clan, rather than just telling that they disliked him. As he travels to Myru to continue his training, explaining that he is training as a shaman, as well as his bear attack, can possibly be done through dialogue with her. as the old adage goes, show, don't tell.
Still, especially considering the fandom(overrun with Drizzt, Drizzt slash, and good drow fleeing Menzoberranzen in droves), I actually found something worth reading in Forgotten Realms. Give it a try, tweak it a bit, and keep going. You have all the pieces. The only thing left is to fit them together a bit more securely...
5/5/2013 c2 10lightning king
Interesting. It is always good to see new FR stories. Keep writing please.

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service