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1/26/2018 c1 19Anime Psychologist
I actually like this. It raises the long standing issue of never judging a book by its cover. Regardless of all the things they are: brilliant, fearless, relentless and cunning. At the end of the day, they are just high school girls trying to fit in. They want to fit in. But, their responsibility demands them to be something they are not.

Minor proofreading issues. One shot or not, it's good.
9/9/2015 c1 Nonna
Its a good story, you should continue it.
10/30/2013 c1 23Danny Barefoot
Very nice analysis, liked all the discussion here.
6/17/2013 c1 72Theralion
I like that this fic gives a more sympathetic portrayal of Maho than most other Girls und Panzer fanfics on here. It would have been better, however, to incorporate the real reason why Maho continues as Nishizumi heiress- so Miho does not have to- as revealed in Chapter 7 of the prequel manga, Little Army.

It's interesting seeing you expand on how Maho doesn't seem to have any friends in spite of the many people who look up to her. Maho seems a bit too emotional, though, as even in the parts in which she fully expresses herself to Miho (her last scene in Episode 12, Little Army Chapter 4, the last part of Little Army Chapter 7), she doesn't emote much.

The fic has some proofreading issues, such as "through" replacing "threw", and "mabby" replacing "maybe". I also have to wonder- did you mean to say that Erika would "scrutinize" Maho on the spot? It doesn't quite sound like the word you were intending to use. Maho and Nonna using "ya" in place of "Yes", also didn't seem to fit. There are also some run-on sentences at times.

The diction sounds overly dramatic at times, such as when Maho considers herself a "monster" for not being a better older sister to Miho and the dialogue occasionally comes off as wooden. It might also be worth putting it into first-person perspective, or removing the "Maho/Nonna's POV" breaks if you prefer thirdperson narration.

Still, it's a start, and I'm interested in seeing what you write for Girls Und Panzer in the future.

On a side note, I found a 4koma strip once in which Nonna, after fawning over Katyusha, is approached by Maho, who tells them that they're comrades in that sense.
5/7/2013 c1 5kimek
He-he, I like this idea so much, indeed Maho and Nonna traits click together very well. Wish to see continuation where those two decide to move further in their relationship. Or maybe bring in the Erica, who mellowed down ;)

Good work overall.

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