for I'm Your Brother9/10/2013 c4 greygirl2358
Just as long as you're not ditching the story, I'm cool!
Just as long as you're not ditching the story, I'm cool!
9/7/2013 c3 
2tmilover122
make sure you proof read and that when people talk, you have the right quotations example
"how are u today?" asked David
"Good, thank you" replied Alex
but over all it was good
2tmilover122make sure you proof read and that when people talk, you have the right quotations example
"how are u today?" asked David
"Good, thank you" replied Alex
but over all it was good
9/6/2013 c3 Guest
Awesome keep writing
Awesome keep writing
9/6/2013 c3 greygirl2358
YEP! That would creep me out too!
YEP! That would creep me out too!
9/2/2013 c2 d
please update this fanfiction please
please update this fanfiction please
8/31/2013 c2 Guest
this is funny please update soon!
this is funny please update soon!
8/27/2013 c2 1YourBloodIsMyDrug
This is good! But I think you should work on your speech because speech marks make it easier to differentiate between action and speech. This is a good story though and you should definitely update... Thankies Nyaah x
1YourBloodIsMyDrugThis is good! But I think you should work on your speech because speech marks make it easier to differentiate between action and speech. This is a good story though and you should definitely update... Thankies Nyaah x
5/16/2013 c2 evellaspeidel
You should try to describe all the action. You are just telling what happens, which makes the story less exciting and enjoyable to read. Also, you need to use quotation marks; it's confusing. But I do like your idea a lot, it drew me right in.
You should try to describe all the action. You are just telling what happens, which makes the story less exciting and enjoyable to read. Also, you need to use quotation marks; it's confusing. But I do like your idea a lot, it drew me right in.