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8/2/2017 c1 83LucyLuna
"be there for me leave me our hurt me." "our" should be "or".
"Thiers nothing here for me" "Thiers" should be "There's"
"I'm just and empty husk of a man" "and" should be "an"
"but I have my doubts, where he was when James potter and Sirius black decided to torcher me continually with pranks he was siding with them." This part is just a bit of a run-on mess. It would be much smoother to read as: "but I have my doubts. Where was he when James Potter and Sirius Black tortured me continually with pranks? Dumbledore was siding with them."
"Even when black tried to kill by using Remus werewolf form" "black" should be capitalized as it's a surname. and it should "Remus's werewolf-form" as the "werewolf-form" belongs to Remus.
Personally, I'd have broken this paragraph up into at least two since it's a bit clunky as-is.
As a whole, this is a sad little stream of consciousness from Snape's POV. I liked his doubt about Dumbledore actually caring about him and his reasons for it being from back when he was a student and him siding with the Marauders all of the time even as they pranked him continuously.
11/26/2016 c1 Emperor-Aurora
Piss...Off...

Jack...Ass...
9/26/2013 c1 24Nispedana
Aww sad. *hugs Snape*
A little tip would be to divide the paragraph into smaller ones, for the sake of pacing. But otherwise, the contents were a nice read. ;)
8/2/2013 c1 1LilyEvansLily
: ( so sad
6/1/2013 c1 Wanter-of-Self
Hmm, this is rather interesting! Aside from the errors, it was good!

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