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for The Girl Time Forgot

12/15/2015 c15 Hidden in time
8/20/2013 c14 Silent Reader
This is really good. I noticed a few grammar mistakes, but I really enjoyed it.
Can you put another chapter up?
8/19/2013 c5 2MaterialisingSun
Usually when people beg for reviews i don't it is slightly annoying but this is a great story so i wanted to say it is amazing :)
8/19/2013 c2 MaterialisingSun
You have clara down perfectly it sounds just like her great story
8/18/2013 c1 MaterialisingSun
Nice story when is this placed in the series?it will be great to see how this story progress's
8/18/2013 c14 10I'msorrymylove
Have a good school year!
7/31/2013 c13 Guest
I think Finn could be an assassin
7/7/2013 c13 Timelord Kirra
Update plzzzz
7/6/2013 c13 18thechamelioncircuit
Oh my stars. What an awful cliff hanger. I shall be on the edge of my seat until you update. Soon perhaps? I do love this story.
6/28/2013 c13 1Nacanaca
This chapter was great! The ending was really sweet. :)
6/26/2013 c5 Endless Curiosity
Enjoyable. One confusing part: Finn sighed, "I don't understand what's his problem" Clara told her "I have an idea" replied Finn as she stepped back from the console.
Here, it's ambiguous about who is saying what, but punctuation should easily fix this.
The Doctor seems in-character for what you've written for him in chapter 4, which I'm guessing is how you're going to write him for the rest of it.
6/26/2013 c4 Endless Curiosity
Really liked this chapter. Three issues: The Doctor's willingness to leave Finn is really surprising, and really doesn't seem to fit his character. I would expect him to be really excited, eagerly protective, perhaps too eager to spend time with Finn.
2) I wonder what Finn's chosen name is (similar to The Doctor). If you ever make it known what the Doctor's name is, you'll have to explain why is name is secret, but not Finn's. This isn't a problem, just something to keep in mind.
3) It has been approximately 300 years for the Doctor since he destroyed Gallifrey, not 900 years (which was his approximate age when destroying Gallifrey, according to the new series).
6/26/2013 c3 Endless Curiosity
Enjoyable reading, except for a number of grammatical issues. Also one of the more plausible explanations I've heard for bringing a Time Lord / Lady into the story, alive. Also a sufficiently plausible explanation for why they suspected she's a Time Lord. I would suggest having something a bit more unique added into her clothing, rather than just a particular combination of coloured clothing.

"They were about give or take a thousand yards away" - sounds awkward due to the 'give or take'. Those words don't really add anything to the sentence, and just make it wordy.
"She grab hold" - grabbed
"could get some" - could we get
"You're friend" - your
"What do 'petrified' " - does
that glacier. - needs a " after glacier
6/26/2013 c2 Endless Curiosity
Interesting and enjoyable so far. I would suggest putting the chapter titles in the chapter selection box on the right. Also, typos:

"She had blanket" - had a blanket
"was generally worried" - I'm thinking genuinely instead.
"her conscience survived" - I don't think conscience is right, and that it should be consciousness instead. However, I may be wrong about that.
6/23/2013 c12 29TheChildOfTheTardis
This is a really good story. I love the character of Finn (or Serafinn) she fits really well into the established duo of the Doctor and Clara. I really hope you write another chapter very soon as what has been written is interesting, entertaing and exciting. I also want to know what is coming.
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