
11/13/2020 c2 coolkid123
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6/9/2013 c2
11Gaaras-Gothic-Ninja-Sappy-Sue
I actually really like this! It's an iteresting plot that hasn't really been done before what with the dogs and whatnot - my only problem is that the conversations seem much too formal! I just don't think people actually talk like that - even in really formal sitiations. Like you'll almost always say "Hey, it's nice seeing you." Never, "Hello, it is nice to see you." See? It sounds kind of mechanical! I think dialogue can be a real strong point in a story so to add to your already amazing plot, all you have to do is patch up the dialogue and make it more believable I think! I'll await your next update! :)

I actually really like this! It's an iteresting plot that hasn't really been done before what with the dogs and whatnot - my only problem is that the conversations seem much too formal! I just don't think people actually talk like that - even in really formal sitiations. Like you'll almost always say "Hey, it's nice seeing you." Never, "Hello, it is nice to see you." See? It sounds kind of mechanical! I think dialogue can be a real strong point in a story so to add to your already amazing plot, all you have to do is patch up the dialogue and make it more believable I think! I'll await your next update! :)
6/1/2013 c2 BcozI'mNaughty
I laugh at 'lacking on chest department'. XD
Yeah, i love this! What bothering me is just, isn't it all the girls swoon over Sasuke, not just Sakura? where are they? o_O
I laugh at 'lacking on chest department'. XD
Yeah, i love this! What bothering me is just, isn't it all the girls swoon over Sasuke, not just Sakura? where are they? o_O
5/31/2013 c2
5Echodust20299
Really good chapter and well written. You did switch from first tothird p.o.v (point of view) randomly, and switched back after a paragraph or two...pet peeve of mine.
I like how this is from Sasuke's pov and I like how we most likely will not be in Naruto's head...unless you put in a chapter like that.
Looking forward to the next chapter :)

Really good chapter and well written. You did switch from first tothird p.o.v (point of view) randomly, and switched back after a paragraph or two...pet peeve of mine.
I like how this is from Sasuke's pov and I like how we most likely will not be in Naruto's head...unless you put in a chapter like that.
Looking forward to the next chapter :)