for Shattered Blade3/18 c17 Guest
Since Chiho apparently has her families magic crest, I can't help but wonder about what sort of magic her family specialized in or how old her family is. I think it would be cool to learn a bit about it.
Since Chiho apparently has her families magic crest, I can't help but wonder about what sort of magic her family specialized in or how old her family is. I think it would be cool to learn a bit about it.
3/15 c14 Z3r0
I love how ALMOST everyone at Izumo Inn Hates/fears/feels disgust/judge Shirou Without even interacting with him... I hope this evolves until Minato begins to despise his brother with his "naive" worldview.
I love how ALMOST everyone at Izumo Inn Hates/fears/feels disgust/judge Shirou Without even interacting with him... I hope this evolves until Minato begins to despise his brother with his "naive" worldview.
3/6 c17 Red13
Shirou x kazehana en una pareja que puede tener buen desarrollo, tambien ayudaria a suavizar un poco a shirou
Shirou x kazehana en una pareja que puede tener buen desarrollo, tambien ayudaria a suavizar un poco a shirou
3/4 c16 Guest
I can't help but think that if Akitsu and Tsukiumi were on the same team, they'd be a force.
I can't help but think that if Akitsu and Tsukiumi were on the same team, they'd be a force.
3/3 c16 Guest
Just wanted to say I appreciated your Star Trek reference... and I'd like to actually see the "red-shirt squad" in action at some point before this story concludes. I could easily see a Sekirei underestimating them and getting punished for it.
Just wanted to say I appreciated your Star Trek reference... and I'd like to actually see the "red-shirt squad" in action at some point before this story concludes. I could easily see a Sekirei underestimating them and getting punished for it.
3/3 c17 AktheRuiner
Oh, one thing I forgot to add, is that I'd really like to see at least some of the conversation that Shirou, Chiho and Uzume are about to have. More specifically, Uzume's reaction to the various text messages Shirou has gotten in regards to her.
And just to be clear, I don't want it to sound like I'm telling you what to write, just voicing my opinion. I don't want to come across as presumptuous... Cheers
Oh, one thing I forgot to add, is that I'd really like to see at least some of the conversation that Shirou, Chiho and Uzume are about to have. More specifically, Uzume's reaction to the various text messages Shirou has gotten in regards to her.
And just to be clear, I don't want it to sound like I'm telling you what to write, just voicing my opinion. I don't want to come across as presumptuous... Cheers
3/5 c17 
2rm928
I, for one, am enjoying how you're writing these characters. And Shirou should be so proud of Karasuba. She really did follow his directions this time! Should reward her or something.
Anyway, I'm glad to see this story updated. The last few chapters have been a blast, and I've been enjoying watching as you make changes and explore different styles with each character. That last bit of this chapter with Matsu was great. And I love how Minato is getting more of backbone than he showed in the anime and manga. Pulling on Matsu's hair and then brushing it in passing to warn her was a wonderful set of scenes. I've been a few chapters behind for quite some time.
Keep up the great work and update as you are able!
rm928
2rm928I, for one, am enjoying how you're writing these characters. And Shirou should be so proud of Karasuba. She really did follow his directions this time! Should reward her or something.
Anyway, I'm glad to see this story updated. The last few chapters have been a blast, and I've been enjoying watching as you make changes and explore different styles with each character. That last bit of this chapter with Matsu was great. And I love how Minato is getting more of backbone than he showed in the anime and manga. Pulling on Matsu's hair and then brushing it in passing to warn her was a wonderful set of scenes. I've been a few chapters behind for quite some time.
Keep up the great work and update as you are able!
rm928
3/2 c16 Guest
That was a great chapter. You really nailed the characterization and I continue to be surprised with how much empathy I have for all of them.
That was a great chapter. You really nailed the characterization and I continue to be surprised with how much empathy I have for all of them.
3/1 c17 Non-Eyclidean
Thought I remembered something off and reread it.
Tsukiumi recognized Karasuba in the photo, but didn’t recognize her from Haihane later in person. Might want to change one of those scenes.
…also, I long for the freak outs when some of the rest cast realize Karasuba actually is in a relationship with someone she likes. Chiho doesn’t quite count as she doesn’t know her reputation. Oh! Wait, Yukari would kind of be perfect for that and then saying things to confuse the hell out of Minato’s flock (and Miya) from whenever she designed the plan from the Fragments chapter…
Thought I remembered something off and reread it.
Tsukiumi recognized Karasuba in the photo, but didn’t recognize her from Haihane later in person. Might want to change one of those scenes.
…also, I long for the freak outs when some of the rest cast realize Karasuba actually is in a relationship with someone she likes. Chiho doesn’t quite count as she doesn’t know her reputation. Oh! Wait, Yukari would kind of be perfect for that and then saying things to confuse the hell out of Minato’s flock (and Miya) from whenever she designed the plan from the Fragments chapter…
3/3 c17 AktheRuiner
Another banger of a chapter. I really enjoyed this one. It was a good mix of action and character development. Akitsu's delivery of her message went pretty much how I thought it would lol. I kinda have to agree with my fellow reviewer "Temsen" that overall poor communication skills seem to be a big part of the conflict in this story. That said, in this case, I think your A/N explanation on why things went down how they did makes sense. Not to mention, Shirou isn't exactly the most communicative person on a good day and its been mentioned that he is quite used to being alone. So I can see him being ass at proper communication. I mean, just look at how long it takes him to get back to Rin after something goes down.
Anyway, I particularly enjoyed Karasuba's perspective this chapter. Haihane's freak out over her box room was priceless. Chiho's reaction to Shirou and his Sekirei's antics was also priceless. Especially when Karasuba and Shirou had their moment. It's fun to see Karasuba get flustered every now and then. Also, I agree with the A/N again that seeing Akitsu from an outside POV was an interesting read.
The fight scenes this chapter were also made for a fun read. The pre-fight banter was a highlight. Haihane didn't really hold back on her thoughts. And her comparison between Shirou and Chiho was interesting. Anyway, I liked the tactics and teamwork Haihane and Akitsu displayed. The fact that they were able to put Kazehana on the ropes like that was impressive. Especially with Tsukumi's attempted interference. Akitsu is a beast.
Lastly, I have a feeling that Matsu is about to be in for some difficult conversations. I doubt even Minato will be able to forgive what she did so easily. I'm curious whether her manipulations will push Tsukumi closer or farther from him. Interesting stuff. Also, I'm looking forward to seeing how Chiho's treatment goes and Shirou's reaction to learning about even more bad shit that Higa has been doing.
Thanks for writing.
Another banger of a chapter. I really enjoyed this one. It was a good mix of action and character development. Akitsu's delivery of her message went pretty much how I thought it would lol. I kinda have to agree with my fellow reviewer "Temsen" that overall poor communication skills seem to be a big part of the conflict in this story. That said, in this case, I think your A/N explanation on why things went down how they did makes sense. Not to mention, Shirou isn't exactly the most communicative person on a good day and its been mentioned that he is quite used to being alone. So I can see him being ass at proper communication. I mean, just look at how long it takes him to get back to Rin after something goes down.
Anyway, I particularly enjoyed Karasuba's perspective this chapter. Haihane's freak out over her box room was priceless. Chiho's reaction to Shirou and his Sekirei's antics was also priceless. Especially when Karasuba and Shirou had their moment. It's fun to see Karasuba get flustered every now and then. Also, I agree with the A/N again that seeing Akitsu from an outside POV was an interesting read.
The fight scenes this chapter were also made for a fun read. The pre-fight banter was a highlight. Haihane didn't really hold back on her thoughts. And her comparison between Shirou and Chiho was interesting. Anyway, I liked the tactics and teamwork Haihane and Akitsu displayed. The fact that they were able to put Kazehana on the ropes like that was impressive. Especially with Tsukumi's attempted interference. Akitsu is a beast.
Lastly, I have a feeling that Matsu is about to be in for some difficult conversations. I doubt even Minato will be able to forgive what she did so easily. I'm curious whether her manipulations will push Tsukumi closer or farther from him. Interesting stuff. Also, I'm looking forward to seeing how Chiho's treatment goes and Shirou's reaction to learning about even more bad shit that Higa has been doing.
Thanks for writing.
3/3 c17 NineYetis
Interesting chapter. I thought that everyone was going to try and get Chiho back and this was how the siblings would learn about magic. The way you handled it was far better.
The way Karasuba completely neutralized Uzume was awesome.
Interesting chapter. I thought that everyone was going to try and get Chiho back and this was how the siblings would learn about magic. The way you handled it was far better.
The way Karasuba completely neutralized Uzume was awesome.
2/28 c17 Non-Euclidean
We’re going to get to witness Uzume realizing her Ashikabi is actually kinda twisted, right?
Like finding the pair of merciless killers cute. The whole ‘to be a mage is to walk with death’ thing. The total blasé attitude about things she should be scared of.
Also, given it’s canon, is the going to a hotel thing just moments before her cover is blown (I assume Matsu tracks the MBI card use to track Ashikabi and we know she can access the spy satellites) just to further muddy and confuse the issue for the Izumi residents?
We’re going to get to witness Uzume realizing her Ashikabi is actually kinda twisted, right?
Like finding the pair of merciless killers cute. The whole ‘to be a mage is to walk with death’ thing. The total blasé attitude about things she should be scared of.
Also, given it’s canon, is the going to a hotel thing just moments before her cover is blown (I assume Matsu tracks the MBI card use to track Ashikabi and we know she can access the spy satellites) just to further muddy and confuse the issue for the Izumi residents?
2/28 c17 Temsen
Yeah, the picture delivery went more or less exactly as expected, lol.
Feels like 80% of the conflict in this story happens because people have atrocious communication skills? Though Chiho was very good at defusing the situation.
Yeah, the picture delivery went more or less exactly as expected, lol.
Feels like 80% of the conflict in this story happens because people have atrocious communication skills? Though Chiho was very good at defusing the situation.