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2/3/2014 c1 CamilionOrgon
Love it! :3 i really hope you keep it up with your stories
12/21/2013 c3 12Dixxy
Aaaaaaaaah, fresh blood ! Good, good !

Let's see how this fresh blood taste... *vampire look*

Well, it tastes really delicious, i would say ! "Delicious" indeed seems the most appropriate word
to describe how this chappy is, given that it notably deals with cakes... ;)

I just have to smile all the way at how children can be so funny : the cake fight, the spider scare, the initial dichotomy between lil' girls & lil' boys (the first ones more sensitive, the second ones more "technical"), the sneaking into a secret passageway... all of this rings true, calls for emotion, shows admirable sensitivity !

It was such a pleasure to read that delightful a chapter ! Enjoyed each and every minute of it ! And i can clearly tell that this touching story is on the best "rail" ! This and previous chappies were so sweet, so moving... and funny too ! Amazing balance found ! Please keep it that way !

So praises to the authoress who's rewarded us with such remarkable matter ! You deserved a bunch of compliments, so here they are, they're yours, take them ! )

But there often is a downside to each positive moment, even a minor one. So i'm gonna have to lecture you a bit. You won't like it, i know, but friendship calls for sincerity, doesn't it...?

YES, there were several mistakes in your chapter, yet NO i'm not telling you where. I'll tell ya later why. But first...

So you find it NORMAL not to proofread a chappy ? And that because ya "can't focus much on it" ? What's that for a bizarre excuse ? How couldn't ya focus on it after writing it ? And how could it be normal ever ? I don't find it normal at all, and i probably am not the only one among the readers of this otherwise great chapter. So yeah, normal, really ?! :-/

I'm not telling ya where those mistakes are because... that's YOUR job, to find them and correct them, not your audience's ! Absolutely not ! It is a writer's duty to re-read and correct as many mistakes/typos as possible before publishing ! You do it out of respect for your audience (for its comfort) and for your own text : who would enjoy being told that his/her text contains typos, incorrect glossary use, grammar errors or such ?

Besides, correcting one's text stands as one of the major FF rules :

"Here is a list of conducts that should always be observed :
1. Spell check all story and poetry. There is no excuse for not performing this duty. If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as to find one.
2. Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. 'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability."

So, any user of FF should abide by those rules and therefore correct his/her text before publishing (which many younger users clearly don't, given the awful lotta typos and grammatic mistakes peppering their chapters... a real shame, a terrible laziness !)

I know you have the time to proofread and correct the few errors made, so please do, like any user of FF has to. It'll make your text all the more enjoyable and well-crafted (instead of merely "written-and-published", the easiest but not best way...). And do not consider normal something that isn't : it's your own work, so who else better than ya can focus on it ? If you don't get rid of imprecisions, who will for ya ? Nobody.

But that's the ONLY flaw i have to mention. And there aren't tons of mistakes neither.
The rest is fine, and even better than fine : really wonderful ! A great pleasure to read it !
I'm really enthusiastic about this story here, and will go on reading from ya with steadfastness.
Thanxxxx a bunch for your sweet, touching, very pleasing writing !

So, all in all, top-notch content, but improvements needed on the form (P.R.O.O.F.R.E.A.D.I.N.G. !)

Bravo once for this excellent chapter, 'twas more than worth my time and i give ya a great, extended pat on the back for your hard work.

Keep up the good job, FFL !

-L-
8/18/2013 c2 Dixxy
Hello back, Gia...nell ! XD

Very nice chapter you'v crafted here ! I actually prefer this one to the first one. Less chatty, more descriptive, with really interesting moments, notably between the 2 kids. Perhaps it was a bit long, the meeting up parents-children, but not much of a biggie, really.

Funny, coz ya mentioned Cath's powers, but didn't actually explained WHAT her powers exactly (ya didn't mentioned stretching arms). Sure, we all know what those powers are, but still, i found this omission funny.

I really dug the butterfly-catching scene. It felt so fresh, so natural, so ingenuous. Just got afraid when Dan climbed on the fountain, as i dreaded that he would fall. Dan may be my least-liked character, i still loathe seeing the heroes of a show i love get hurt, not matter who. (But i admit i'd have more fear if it was Sam or Cathy climbing that fountain... ;)))

"DOES ANYONE WANT TO GUESS WHERE I GOT THE IDEA FOR THIS FIC?" : i don't like trying to guess things, especially when i'm dead sure i won't find, but lazy me will still go for that attempt : ya got inspired by a movie where kids were trying to catch butterflies by a fountain ? XDDD

Ok, i shut up.

All in all, a way entertaining chappy, wz a very nice lil' outdoor scene bw the kids. I liked it, and therefore will be much pleased to read more... whenever possible !

Bravo again !

Hugsies !

"And the band played on..."

::: L :::
6/1/2013 c1 18SongBird312
Very nice first chapter. I love how you portray the relationships between all of the characters! I can't wait to see what happens next! Update whenever you can; this is awesome! :)
5/31/2013 c1 12Dixxy
Nice start. I've had a bit of difficulty fully enjoying it, as always with "talkative" stories wz much much dialog (especially the Sam-
Chris part). Not that a story should be all abt action & descriptions, no... but it can get a bit "word-overflowing" when there is so much discussion.

Of course, that's definitely subjective. ;)

Apart from that, i find it rather good. Liked how C & D were kinda harsh to each other
at the end, yet still started to miss each
other.

Karate Camp... Ya sure it wasn't Kung Fu instead ? XD

I also liked how Sam was preoccupied wz the gang spending much time together before the Senior Year, coz they'll have less time afterwards.

All in all, a nice read. Good work.

Let's see when ya can update, after
having left FF orphan of ya that long...

Best of inspiration, Gia...nell ! ''

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