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5/8/2020 c2 emiya unlimited blade works
Seems interesting so far. I would like to see more chapters if possible.
9/7/2015 c1 Jose19
I wonder what style will Naruto learn in this story, and what person will he paired up with as well because there are powerful foes in this fic.
8/15/2013 c2 Guest
Whatever you do, don't pair Naruto with Miu, she beling with Kenichi.
Shigure or a Yami member would be preferable, since I've already seen a good Naruto/Renka story.
And update this shit! (as in shit, not crap, well not shit shit, but stuff shit? it? whatever, im drunkish)
Still, get it on a roll... Mikumo and Naruto would be hot as hell. But I understand if you want him with Shigure.
Just not Rachel because she's a fucking slut. And Freya is mainstream and ugly... Well, not ugly, but I wouldn't bang her twice. Well, maybe in the morning but I wouldn't call her afterward.
And don't make him use ninjutsu or anything supernatural.
And I'd love to see Naruto waver between Satsujinken and Katsujinken, I'd prefer him falling into the darkness, but either is fine. Shigure could pull him through it and Mikumo could drag him into it.
As I said, either is fine. But he's gonna have to come face to face with the blood on his hands. He's a ninja after all.

Just some stuff from a fellow SC plater, masterleague ftw.
7/7/2013 c2 14yurei king
This is pretty interesting. A good set up for Naruto's past and giving him a goal while also keeping to the main storyline, I look forward to your future chapters
6/23/2013 c2 xbox432
Hmm, so we finally have a Kenichi/Naruto fic were Naruto isn't a flippin god eh? looks like I'll be following this one. Any plans on Naruto being Shigure's disciple? In the anime she always seemed depressed cause Kenichi didn't want to learn from her, so it might be interesting to see her pass on her skills.
6/21/2013 c2 A simple fool
Good, good. Especially for a first timer. Suggestion: show, don't tell. Like with Naruto taking up the Masters' offer or meeting them.
6/22/2013 c2 6Serfius
You should really think about fleshing things out more. Particularly when Naruto decides to train at Ryouzanpaku. As it is, it seems really insignificant, when that should probably be one of the biggest moments in the story. You've just glossed over it with no detail. Have the masters decided to train Naruto? Have they made any comments or given any advice/tips to improve his martial arts? It's really a significant event, Naruto even having the opportunity to train there. It's reputedly the gathering place of the worlds top martial artists, and they don't often take disciples.

Also, it was not a "random guy" who referee'd the match between Daimonji and Kenichi, it was the captain of the Karate club, Tsukuba. I don't know if you have something else planned at this time in the series, but "random guy" is unacceptable for introducing the referee. Even saying something like "The clubs referee stepped forward..." would work better, but typically the more specific the better.

There are a lot of little errors, like words that don't fit in the sentence, and places where a few more details would make a world of difference. For example "... Miu just jumped next to him in her pink gymnastic costume that was praising her body..." Praising doesn't fit there. Another example "This match, I lost because I made an infringement of the rules." Explain what the infringement was.

I would suggest getting a beta reader, and reading over the chapter aloud to yourself before posting it. Make sure that whatever you read sounds right when vocalized. It's not difficult to miss something that sounds weird if you only read it silently.

Other than those things, I still like the fic overall. Although I wasn't expecting Kenichi to have much of a role, definitely not to this degree, this early on. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Naruto was beginning to be pushed aside as a side character in favor of Kenichi.
6/21/2013 c2 5Exiled Soul Nomad
heee, this is interesting.
6/21/2013 c2 1irnzenmonk
good chapter ne
6/21/2013 c2 1ddcj1990
Sweet chapter it was good
6/21/2013 c2 RoyalTwinFangs
Not bad. Naruto should do the "Iron Claw" on people that annoys him.
6/21/2013 c2 Shattering
Man that was a good chapter.
How frequently are you going to update as of now?
6/21/2013 c2 ImagineBreaker7
Great chapter I liked the interaction with Kenichi and I look forward to your next update.
6/20/2013 c1 1Lovely Darkness Lady
I love it! Nice storyyy
6/18/2013 c1 Shattering
So when are you going to upload the next chapter?
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