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for Naruto On Board

8/4/2017 c65 Guest
Isso está cada vez demais. Parabéns pra você editor
7/11/2017 c29 totalsolution
I feel I have to leave a review here even though I'm not nearly at the end of your story.
Naruto doesn't behave at all like Naruto. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but you basically took everything that made him him away and put him in a new world. The way I see it, you took Lee and gave him intelligence.
You stated at the beginning Naruto would be OP for a while. Well, apart from the Arlong Arc he wasn't. Actually, I think he's mich too weak. If you insist on not using ninjutsu, a devil fruit might actually be interesting. He's been using the Iron Fist Style of Gaiall the time. He's fast and strong, yet in the games of the Davy Beck Fight he's neither fast enough nor string enough to evade the slow beam or the balls. It's pretty clear you're trying your hardest not to making him OP, but for God's sake, if he's strong he's strong. Stop handicapping him for the sake of adjusting him to the crew.
The harem. You have no romance in here. There have been no scenes that actually expressed why Naruto would be so good a catch. There's no sex, which is incredibly unbelievable. There are no other scenes showing the relationships progressing either. Or at least not nearly enough.
Flashbacks are a tried and proven method to explain things that happened way before the story began or to remind people of something that happened before. But using them to show something that happened in the story but wasn't described before shows that you didn't think of it until that moment which just makes it unfit to be there. Planning is a pretty big part of writing.
The way I see it, Naruto is the main character of the story. That's ok. But in that case you might've been better off making him the Captain. Luffy being the Captain takes away from Naruto's personality as he will always have to follow Luffy. That's why many people invent an own pirate crew for fanfictions.
You practically fly through each original arc. There's almost no detail, the character interactions are kept to a minimum and character development is only seen in the new techniques they use. You need more details. Much more. The way this story is written is like it was supposed to be a first draft with just the bare skeleton of the story. You need to fix that.
You're story is progressing along the original plot. That's a good idea and gives you a plot outline. But you've been changing nothing but inserting more characters into the story which then goes on progressing exactly the same way it did in canon because you also gave the baddies more help. It makes the whole thing pretty useless and boring. Where's the fun in bringing along more crew mates if they have no actual impact on the crew and the story besides having to fight as well?
And last but not least, you need to fix your orthography. Writing well and using proper words and sentences is another big part of writing. I've come so far now in the hopes that it would get better, but it didn't. At the rate this story is going, I really don't know if I'll be able to read your story up to the point it is on now.
I hope this helps you out.

7/5/2017 c65 Guest
A irmã de Sanji, a Reiju, estará no harém de Naruto ?
7/3/2017 c65 Guest
Pelo amor de Deus, continue. Eu implorando. Estou gostando muito da história.
6/30/2017 c65 Guest
Pelo amor de Deus, continue
6/18/2017 c65 Guest
6/16/2017 c1 Guest
Here are my opinions on the potential xover's.
1. Star Wars Rebels, NO plain and simple.
2. Fairy Tail, see option no.1.
3. Mortal Kombat, this MIGHT work depending on witch sorce material you use.
4. Ultimate Spider Man, GOD NO.
5. Totally Spies, this could actually be very good as long as it's done right.
6. Pokemon, everything up to Alola but not including Alola and it will be good.
7. Wolverine and the X MEN, here is a tricky one because it only had 1 mabe 2 seasons and 2 is pushing it I would have much rather this be Ironman Armored Adventures because it had somewhere in between 5 to 8 seasons I just dont think this one would work it would be way to short to develop any relationship at all.
8. Teen Titans, this I could see working as long as you remember Naruto is a child solder and was basically breed to kill.
9. Kim Possible, this is a xover i like but only Herta Sora has actually done right maby you can to.
10. Legend of Kora, I have NO love what so ever for this series it is in my opinion it's own little separate world from the original and is not canon so anything you do with this would be FAR better then how it actually was.
11. Star Wars the Clone Wars, WHY THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN ON HERE?
12. Tomb Raider, see previous statement.
13. Avatar TLA, this on the other hand I absolutely love I have always been of the notion that if Naruto was there Toph would fall for him and I stand by that.
14. RWBY, I'd like to see what you do with this.
15. Bleach, I really like this xover but not a single one is comlete you want to know why I'll tell you, the 1000 Year Blood War arc not a single writer in this xover wants to touch it because it's such a god damn mess you'd have to either drop it completely or pretty much do a total rewrite of it.
16. Total Drama Series, this has so much potential but hardly anyone uses it because depending on what season he starts in he could be with anyone.
17. Avengers Assemble, see 11. for my opinion on it.
18. Kenichi TMD, I'm not too familiar with it but from what I remember it should work.
19. Arrow, see 11. for my opinion on it.
20. Mass Effect, this could be very good I only ask that you make Tali one of his lovers.
6/13/2017 c65 19KuronoDono12
Wait I'm confused isn't this Naruto from the Shinobi World? If thats the case how can Minato and Kushina have been killed by one of Kaido's men.
6/13/2017 c65 StrongGuy159
Awesome chapter continue please.
6/13/2017 c65 4Gamelover41592
Awesome work on this chapter very epic and nice having Naruto meet the man who killed his parents
6/13/2017 c65 camdawg
Kaido is already in wado
5/25/2017 c15 7Tengoku no Kotei
Soooo cooooool.
5/23/2017 c64 Guest
Isso foi... demais
5/23/2017 c2 Tengoku no Kotei
You're the best guy.
5/22/2017 c64 4Gamelover41592
awesome work on this chapter and I see you plan on adding Rebecca in as well
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