for (Re)Setting the Stage7/29/2013 c27 mcawzome
THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO GIVE BIRTH TO THR AWSEOMEDT BATTLE EVAR
THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO GIVE BIRTH TO THR AWSEOMEDT BATTLE EVAR
7/28/2013 c26 meee
Nice chapter, really liked the action. And maybe with school coming up you'll have more time to really slow down and focus on the chapters instead of kind of rushing them.
Nice chapter, really liked the action. And maybe with school coming up you'll have more time to really slow down and focus on the chapters instead of kind of rushing them.
7/27/2013 c26 Guest
Best chapter yet
BUT U T DIDNT HAVE NO RIKU
AND AY'S NAME ISNT A IT IS AY
Ay
Not
A
Okay? Hehe I rhyme...
Best chapter yet
BUT U T DIDNT HAVE NO RIKU
AND AY'S NAME ISNT A IT IS AY
Ay
Not
A
Okay? Hehe I rhyme...
7/27/2013 c1 Wonderweed420
LOL i find it funny that you literaly have 1 reader who is trolling you yet you still write this crap.
LOL i find it funny that you literaly have 1 reader who is trolling you yet you still write this crap.
7/26/2013 c25 Well
Actually that review he left didn't really seem like a flame.
He pointed out some things about the story that were all true and to be honest for trying to write a high quality fic you are under standards, no offence.
Though just because the fic is under standard of something high quality that doesnt make it bad, you have the founding for an amazing story and if you worked at it a little harder I think you could make something great out of this.
JSM
Actually that review he left didn't really seem like a flame.
He pointed out some things about the story that were all true and to be honest for trying to write a high quality fic you are under standards, no offence.
Though just because the fic is under standard of something high quality that doesnt make it bad, you have the founding for an amazing story and if you worked at it a little harder I think you could make something great out of this.
JSM
7/26/2013 c25 McAwzome
NOT SATISFIED THERES NEEDZ TOEZ BEEZ MOAR RIKU
NOT SATISFIED THERES NEEDZ TOEZ BEEZ MOAR RIKU
7/25/2013 c23 meee
I love the yin yang part and on a side note don't worry about haters. They only hate 'cause they're jealous!
I love the yin yang part and on a side note don't worry about haters. They only hate 'cause they're jealous!
7/25/2013 c24 meee
Lucky akiko and the ability to pull bacon out of nowhere! I wish I could do that. Well anyway nice chapters! I feel bad for hotaru having to hear that. I was just dying when I read that. Also poor hinata, hopefully she does make it...maybe.
Lucky akiko and the ability to pull bacon out of nowhere! I wish I could do that. Well anyway nice chapters! I feel bad for hotaru having to hear that. I was just dying when I read that. Also poor hinata, hopefully she does make it...maybe.
7/25/2013 c24 McAwzome
RRRAAAARRRGGGHHHH THERE WASNT ANY RIKU OR ITACHI IN THIS CHAPTER!
I WILL FIND YOU
RRRAAAARRRGGGHHHH THERE WASNT ANY RIKU OR ITACHI IN THIS CHAPTER!
I WILL FIND YOU
7/25/2013 c24 
4Alltariss
This fic is a complete and utter mess. I don't even know what this fic is about, because nothing makes the slightest amount of sense. From the first chapter until the latest one, there was nothing to establish the setting or the characters.
The setting wasn't established leaving me severely confused as to when the events are taking place or where. There was no details on the time of events and their sequence, neither was their any point of reference where I could get a hold of in order for any of the flashbacks/recollections to make sense either. It's a jumbled mess, I don't really know how else to describe it.
The characters were poorly portrayed as there was no point of reference in time for me to use. Is this pre-Shippuden, Shippuden, or post-Shippuden? Not only that, but the way you wrote them was very poorly done. I could see you trying to create emotional moments, but it was just telling us what they were feeling instead of showing, and even the way you tell their feelings was poorly done. Then you added all these OC's into the fray and make the fic even more confusing than before. And it makes the situation worse as the main non-OC characters are OOC without any reasoning to explain why.
Next thing that confused me was if you actually know anything about the fandom for which you are writing for? I went and took a look at your profile page and was shocked when I read this.
"I have but one task and that is to make the longest running, highest quality, Naruto fan fiction series possible. It will not be based on the cannon version but it will take elements from it. Any help ls also greatly appreciated. Please leave reviews as the story can only get better through your help.
On a random note here I have and always will hate Donzo."
I was honestly shocked about this. You want to make the "Highest Quality" fic, but the fic you've written shows a severe lack of effort. Which to me as a reader shows that the author doesn't take his own work seriously. Next is "It will take elements from it"; taking elements and making something different is good, but like I said before if you don't create a good setting then it's just a mess. And what made me wonder if you know the fandom was "Will always hate Donzo". Donzo? The correct name is Danzo. I would recommend that you re-read the manga/anime to get a better grasp of the fandom.
I really suggest that you first learn how to write fiction properly with proper setting and character development.
4AlltarissThis fic is a complete and utter mess. I don't even know what this fic is about, because nothing makes the slightest amount of sense. From the first chapter until the latest one, there was nothing to establish the setting or the characters.
The setting wasn't established leaving me severely confused as to when the events are taking place or where. There was no details on the time of events and their sequence, neither was their any point of reference where I could get a hold of in order for any of the flashbacks/recollections to make sense either. It's a jumbled mess, I don't really know how else to describe it.
The characters were poorly portrayed as there was no point of reference in time for me to use. Is this pre-Shippuden, Shippuden, or post-Shippuden? Not only that, but the way you wrote them was very poorly done. I could see you trying to create emotional moments, but it was just telling us what they were feeling instead of showing, and even the way you tell their feelings was poorly done. Then you added all these OC's into the fray and make the fic even more confusing than before. And it makes the situation worse as the main non-OC characters are OOC without any reasoning to explain why.
Next thing that confused me was if you actually know anything about the fandom for which you are writing for? I went and took a look at your profile page and was shocked when I read this.
"I have but one task and that is to make the longest running, highest quality, Naruto fan fiction series possible. It will not be based on the cannon version but it will take elements from it. Any help ls also greatly appreciated. Please leave reviews as the story can only get better through your help.
On a random note here I have and always will hate Donzo."
I was honestly shocked about this. You want to make the "Highest Quality" fic, but the fic you've written shows a severe lack of effort. Which to me as a reader shows that the author doesn't take his own work seriously. Next is "It will take elements from it"; taking elements and making something different is good, but like I said before if you don't create a good setting then it's just a mess. And what made me wonder if you know the fandom was "Will always hate Donzo". Donzo? The correct name is Danzo. I would recommend that you re-read the manga/anime to get a better grasp of the fandom.
I really suggest that you first learn how to write fiction properly with proper setting and character development.
7/24/2013 c23 McAwzome
overall this is the best chapter ever had riku, itachi, musaku and assistance person and I like how you did the Ying and the Yang for the Sunanoos and I nearly died at the end of the chapter when you had the umm Naruto and Sakura part and then a hotel room coming over and saying I didn't hear that I didn't hear that it was hilarious I used the speaker to type this whole thing except the words like japanease ones I don't want to type again
Itachi should get to be op as foooock
overall this is the best chapter ever had riku, itachi, musaku and assistance person and I like how you did the Ying and the Yang for the Sunanoos and I nearly died at the end of the chapter when you had the umm Naruto and Sakura part and then a hotel room coming over and saying I didn't hear that I didn't hear that it was hilarious I used the speaker to type this whole thing except the words like japanease ones I don't want to type again
Itachi should get to be op as foooock
7/23/2013 c23 Mr.G
Hahahahaha I like that part where Akiko pulls bacon out of thin air that is some good shit.
O and that scaring moment in the kitchen hahahaha funny
Not Eiseah muhahahaha
Hahahahaha I like that part where Akiko pulls bacon out of thin air that is some good shit.
O and that scaring moment in the kitchen hahahaha funny
Not Eiseah muhahahaha
7/23/2013 c23 Jinchuuriki Jake
ERGHERGHERGHERHGERHGERHGERGH IIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!
WE NEED MOAR SEXY TIMEZ AND MOAR BACON! I liked when Hotaru heard his mom moan all sexy like ;p lol
ERGHERGHERGHERHGERHGERHGERGH IIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!
WE NEED MOAR SEXY TIMEZ AND MOAR BACON! I liked when Hotaru heard his mom moan all sexy like ;p lol
7/21/2013 c22 meee
Wow, that was just crazy. And the chapter before was completely awesome. I didn't even know Itachi would come into the picture. Poor sasuke (even though I can't stand him) just had to die.
Wow, that was just crazy. And the chapter before was completely awesome. I didn't even know Itachi would come into the picture. Poor sasuke (even though I can't stand him) just had to die.