Just In
for A Trail of Fire

6/19/2013 c1 1froger495
cant wait for the next chapter.
6/19/2013 c1 16shinji01ikari
a great first start. though there are a few missing words and some spelling mistakes but otherwise its very good.
His new magic 'The Wander or Wanderer' pretty much gives him a large advantage against any enemies he will face in the future. he can use their magic against them along with his own and the ones he learned. Since you still haven't properly explained his new magic, I could only guess that he could only copy magic that are lower than his own, or magic that have branched off from the original. That's what I think anyway.
The Naza part, just go slow and build their relationship as you progress on your story. it's always nice to watch the pair develop as the story progresses.
The harem part, I would like Mirajane in it and possibly Ultear and the rest is up to you.
I'm still pissed that Mashima killed Ultear when Jellal should be the one killed.
Again great story and keep on updating on your own pace.
6/18/2013 c1 1ShuraYuki0
Not bad for a first chapter. What I want to see is, since natsu likes women, hoe the fairy tail women talk and react to him.
6/18/2013 c1 Zerohero27
Good start this looks really good
6/18/2013 c1 9One Half
Interesting beginning and quite original character development.
However, I suggest you to separate action scenes somehow, by horizontal line or something, continuous text are difficult to read.
6/17/2013 c1 30Hek'UnnSkipper
6/15/2013 c1 Guest
Nice, hope you'll keep on writing.
6/16/2013 c1 6Lightningblade49
This new magic you've given natsu is perfect for someone of his intelligence, the facts he's a ladies man now is bonus.
6/15/2013 c1 1WatchingDUCK
Awesome story please update soon!
6/15/2013 c1 talesfanjmf
I think this story has great potential
6/15/2013 c1 lucifer.94
though a little bit more information about The Wander would have been good, even though its for later chapters...
still, interesting...
try to divert the storyline a bit instead of keeping it strictly canon, because strictly canon kinda makes the story very predictable...
less predictable more excitement
good luck
6/15/2013 c1 7Lost Idea Alchemist
Not bad. Not bad at all. A very promising beginning for a story that's headed in an original direction. Well done.
Especially for a first story. Please don't write two or three chapters for this and then switch to a new idea like too many people here do. Get at least halfway through canon with this before you start work on something else. This story seems too good to get wasted like that.
On a side note, I think my Lucy could kick both your Natsu's and your Lucy's ass :)
Still, good work. Update soon.
6/15/2013 c1 21Negligible1
There were a few minor errors (missing or wrong letters and the like) but nothing major and certainly nothing I found impossible to understand.
There's something rather appealing about player-Natsu isn't there, it so unlike him yet fits him perfectly.
So Natsu's "Progression Magic" lets him copy other peoples magic, huh? (No offense but think up a better name, Progression Magic just sounds... odd, well I think you need a better name but, its your fic. Please tell me you aren't going to introduce Erza as his slightly(very) jealous girlfriend in the next chapter(s), please. I want some build up, some flirting and not the wonderful beautiful crazy strong and loveable red head constantly baring down over his shoulder and making me not like her. Still, again its your fic, do what you want.
Natsu has the magic of one or more of the Trimen's, Levy, Bora, Lucy, his own Dragon Slayer, so what about Erza's, Mira's, Lisanna's, Gray's, and the big man Makarov himself? Also does he just need to witness enough of it, does the complexity of the magic affect how quickly he can learn it, does he need to use it a few in order to garner experience at using it before he's 'mastered' it? If you haven't thought about these things, do, if you have, good, try and work the explanations subtly into the story.
Another thing is, harem wise, I'm guessing Lucy, Erza, given the story pairing, Mira, just because, Lisanna, since she didn't die in Edolas, Cana, just cause I like her, so will they all be in it, will there be others, how closely will you follow canon story.
Note, an idea, hold off on NatsuXErza pairing until Tower of Heaven (if you intend on following a canon route) and start it off then or solidify it as a relationship then, with plenty of flirting beforehand.
Well whatever else, I like it, thanks for letting me read and I hope to see more soon.
6/15/2013 c1 Silent Reader 6100
This is a very interesting story. I like it so far and am looking forward to your next update
6/15/2013 c1 Gilland Pride
Interesting idea I like it. I can't wait to to find out more about Natsu's magic.
165 « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service