for Some Bonds Cannot Be Severed6/21/2013 c1 
1Johnlocked1895
I liked it :) I mean I don't normally read Star Trek stuff so I can't compare, but it was good!
Uh, only things I could think of to help you is watch out for who is talking and be careful not to switch the POV in the middle of a paragraph. Other than that its great. You might just need to give it another chapter or two for it to pick up :) good luck!
1Johnlocked1895I liked it :) I mean I don't normally read Star Trek stuff so I can't compare, but it was good!
Uh, only things I could think of to help you is watch out for who is talking and be careful not to switch the POV in the middle of a paragraph. Other than that its great. You might just need to give it another chapter or two for it to pick up :) good luck!