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8/10/2013 c3 1Frost Metal 0-1
Now that is much, much, better organisational wise. I was not expecting Ino to have been in a relationship with Naruto, even though it didn't end well, and for Tayuya to be passive-aggressive to her when she walked into the interrogation room.

I'm still not sure of what Konan and Naruto's relationship is other then student and sensei especially with how she acts when Naruto meets new people, particularly girls since she would keep an eye them like they would try and take him away from her for some reason and when Naruto went sight-seeing at night when she would accuse Pein of not teaching Naruto discipline quickly enough to which he would just reply "Your student, Your responsibility" which to me hints that she has started to care for Naruto as either a little brother or possible romantic interest.

Hope you are able to get the next chapter up soon, as am really trying to figure out what Naruto means to Konan as of right now just from how she has acted so far in regard to meeting new people, eating habits, and his habit of sight-seeing Ame during the evening really do seem to hint to some form of affection for Naruto.
8/10/2013 c3 42Patriot-M89
Whoa this suddenly got interesting.
8/10/2013 c3 10Jazbez
Once again, excellent chapter. I love the 'current' events of the story, as in the eight years previously. But what catches my attention he most are the small snippets into the 'future', before the interrogation. Snippets that we know happened, but not the circumstance surrounding them, and that makes me think and ponder the course of the story than anything else.
8/10/2013 c3 2smithy936
This is a good story, shows promise. Most of the "Abandoned Naruto" stories that I've read lose my interest pretty quickly, but yours is certainly keeping it. Hopefully you can keep up the good work, I need more interesting stories to read, and this is starting to look like one of those.
8/10/2013 c3 5War Sage
good chapter..
7/29/2013 c2 TheSkyKing
Not bad not bad at all. All I can say is please continue and don't quit. There are so many Naruto-neglect fics that go unfinished. Most of them are really good too.
7/28/2013 c2 Kroz Phantomville
Superb story. Keep up the good work.
7/23/2013 c2 14TheMagicManWithThePlan
This is pretty freaking awesome. The only other thing that would be cool would be Rennigan Naruto, without the paths. You know how Nagato fought Killer Bee, Naruto, and Itachi by himself. He would be almost unstoppable, and with Natural super speed he would be awesome! Everyone forgets that you don't need paths to utilize the Rennigans ability and have to remain stationary to control them, so just go ham with the abilities in one go! Keep up the good work
7/23/2013 c2 ApocalypseDragon169
this is cool
7/22/2013 c2 DemonAndAGun
Interesting, while the whole 'neglected/abandoned' plot device is cliche, the way you've written it is unique and believable, rather than Minato having some sinister plot or Kushina having a memory repression seal, you've gone with simple neglect which is believable, it's actually quite common for twins or two children born in a short time span to be neglected, usually the eldest is neglected for the youngest, this is just because humans have one track minds, they're not capable of multi-tasking like parents in the animal kingdom. I do hope though you steer away from the cliche of Naruto killing his sister or begrudging her, though from the way you wrote chapter two it sounds like you are steering clear of that cliche, and possibly having them become allies? Not sure, the chapter is a bit vague, you should work on the details. I would avoid the cliches of having Naruto hate other's for Minato's actions but be afraid of Minato himself, it is a plot device we see too often in these kind of fics and it not only makes no sense, but makes Naruto look like a complete coward, granted killing Kushina and Narumi/Naruko would be a blow to a "Good" husband or father, but in these stories Minato is neither, just a simple manipulator who can care less for either woman, and Naruto is aware of this fact in these stories, so killing his wife and child isn't going to effect Minato. I also find it unbelievable that Minato can't take the time from his Hokage duties to train both of his children, we have proof from canon that Sarutobi was able to train the Sannin while he was Hokage so what excuse does Minato really have? If Sarutobi can train three brats, two of whom are suspected orphans, then Minato is able to train both of his children fairly.

I'm mixed with the idea of Naruto joining the Akatsuki, really their all nothing but psychopaths or freaks, Deidara joined Akatsuki just to blow stuff up and Hidan just to kill people to name a couple, then you have Kakuzu who joined to collect bounties, Sasori who joined to show his puppetry. Then you have Itachi, Konan, Nagato, and Obito who are all just whining brats each joining for their own ridiculous sense of peace, still don't see how they planned to achieve it, the only one's I can understand are Kisame because he wanted to end the lies of the Ninja World and Zetsu because he was created by Madara from Hashirama's DNA, so I'm sure Madara has some way of basically controlling the cannibal. On the other hand, while I see Orochimaru as the better villain in terms of his goals and his reasons for being a villain, you know if you were up for a leadership position and got looked over for some brat still in his Huggies all because people thought you looked weird you'd be angry too, however Orochimaru will no doubt be after Naruto's body, if Orochimaru's willing to use his body switch on the no-named losers he's used thus far, then he'll no doubt want to use it on an Uzumaki, one who was born from a jinchuriki, so Naruto allying with Orochimaru never would have worked, it'd be like Orochimaru's alliance with Sasuke, so good job on that call, and Kabuto I can care less if that freak dies... seriously that kid is all sorts of creepy, he's the kid from school who sits in the back of class writing out hit lists.

Either way the story is interesting, I hope you get to a point you can update more frequently because you seem to have some talent. Sorry to hear about your friend but I applaud you for your endeavor to take care of their child, not many people twice your age would even do such a noble act so that makes you one Hell of a person. I wish you luck with your adopted daughter and hope you both lead a good life despite this tragedy, and good luck in school, I don't know if you have legal custody of the young girl yet, but if you do, I suggest you look into a grant,we got plenty of brats attending schools with that money who don't deserve it, I'd feel much better knowing my tax dollars went to pay for YOUR education as opposed to many others. Well, I think I've taken enough of your time, adios!
7/22/2013 c2 Batros940
Very good chapter, although I was expecting a bit more. Once again sorry to hear about your friend gook luck to raising his kid.
7/21/2013 c2 1Frost Metal 0-1
OK, so let me get this straight:

Naruto is neglected by his parents for his sister since she holds the Kyuubi's power and is forced to learn everything about being a shinobi by himself and from Itachi; and because of this neglect, Naruto becomes distant from his family. Then at team assignment, Narumi sees just how far distant Naruto has become from the family and just wants her brother back. Then when the teams are assigned, Naruto is overlooked and leaves with Kushina yelling his name to get his attention and ignores her. After leaving there, Naruto decides to leave/abandon/betray Konoha and breaks Kabuto out of prison and begin to head towards Orochimaru's location. After they're (Naruto and Kabuto) out of the Konoha, they are intercepted by Konan who is trying to find the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki; and then after scaring Naruto, she then softens her look and starts to bring Naruto back to Konoha only to change direction toward Ame after Naruto told her how he is neglected by his family. As they are in route to Ame, Naruto finds out a little about Konan and how she grew up; also Konan sees that Naruto is meant for great things and will likely train him to be a Shinobi and possibly become a sister/mother-figure or lover to Naruto. This is all told eight years after Naruto left Konoha by Tayuya, which I'm guessing is Naruto's wife, who is being interrogated by Jiraiya who is trying to find more information on the conflict between Hoshoku and Akatsuki as well as trying to figure out what happened to Naruto.

If I've got that right, then all I can say is wow. I honestly wasn't really expecting something like that at all. I can say that this is a very well written story, but a little confusing to figure out without the line-breaks to keep it organised and see when the story shifts view points or locations. I also am having a little trouble figuring out what happened to cause Tayuya to have the name last name Uzumaki and if there were any other pairings that involved Naruto and who he was with or someone else and who they were with.

Hope you update the story soon so that way I can start to piece together what happened between the time Naruto left/abandoned/betrayed Konoha to the time of Tayuya's interrogation by Jiraiya.
7/21/2013 c2 Samm91
This is a pretty interesting story you have started. Looking forward to see what will happen next. Loved how you introduced Tayuya.
7/20/2013 c2 5SilverKnight17
now this is interesting, keep up the good work, looking forward to more
7/20/2013 c2 Guest
this story doesn't have any suspense or mystery at all. And the time spent by naruto in the 8 yrs time could have been written as flashbacks or explaining it in 1st person view,instead she just givesup info about her leader to the enemies that too in detail without tact. overall this chapter was disappointing.
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