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for Broken Clockwork

7/20/2013 c2 Sicloup
Well that was certainly crap. Stop playing the sympathy card dude.
7/20/2013 c2 dasross
Thats good, Tayuya will be paired with Naruto ? Its cool you daughter liked the history maybe she can help in the development of the history, some kids are really creative
7/20/2013 c2 3ncpfan
Good chapter, and great story so far. There was one thing I thought I should mention, though: you included Minato's, Kakashi's and Itachi's reactions and conversation in a flashback that is being shown to us as a story being told by Tayuya. Tayuya wouldn't know any of this, and so this should not have been done, here - much like when you're telling a story from one person's specific point of view, you should only include their thoughts and observations on the matter. Does that make sense? You could have maybe included the conversation with the other three in a flashback where Jiraiya was remembering being told by Minato or someone, but Tayuya's story would not include such a piece of information.

If any of what I've said needs clarification, please feel free to PM me. Again, overall, great story so far, and I'm really looking forward to more, especially to seeing what Kushina's and Narumi's reactions are to all of this and to Naruto's running away.
7/19/2013 c2 19dracohalo117
I do wonder if anyone wanted Naruto at all...

dracohalo117
7/19/2013 c1 dracohalo117
Good start to the chapter...damn, overlooked, now that is harsh...

dracohalo117
7/19/2013 c2 Haspu Bujog
good.
7/19/2013 c2 10Jazbez
Once again, excellent chapter. I love the way that you have it set (partially) in flashback. Most of my favorite books that I read in high school were set in flashback, 'The Great Gatsby', 'To Kill a Mockingbird', 'Catcher in the Rye'. And what I love about them, is that you already know what happens in the beginning, making you savor the journey along the way. I'm expecting great things from 'Broken Clockwork' and you haven't failed to deliver yet and I don't think you ever will.

That, and I love Tayuya. She's alive! Now I'm wondering if she's Uzumaki because of marriage or because of birthright because of her hair...
7/19/2013 c2 42Patriot-M89
Nice work! Please continue this. Though I'm still wondering what is happening to the Parents and sister.
7/19/2013 c2 5War Sage
Great chapter
7/19/2013 c2 3Reishin Amara
hmmm...this one was really really ..is Tayuya Uzumaki by birth,or by marriage?(or both? Giggity)
7/8/2013 c1 42Patriot-M89
Oh man, things are about to get difficult for everyone.
7/7/2013 c1 BBWulf
Thanks for taking the time to write this great fic. I hope to see more soon. And hopefully things get better for you and your (adoptive) child. :)
7/6/2013 c1 AdriannaNealy
I can't wait for the next chapter
7/2/2013 c1 Guest
really good plot man. just don't like naruto's family though. hope you don't plan to forgive them. hope you update soon
6/27/2013 c1 Guest
Maybe his sister is blamed, because in the short time she appeared, she acted like a bitch, or a self-righteous one, don't you think guys ?... You shoul really stop thinking that Naruto souldn't be emo for being NEGLECTED, should I spell the word for you ?
Raut aside... I like the idea.
Killing her sister ? It's interesting, but will Naruto actually do it ? It would have been better if he decided to kill her already.
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