for Broken Clockwork6/27/2013 c1 Guest
Maybe his sister is blamed, because in the short time she appeared, she acted like a bitch, or a self-righteous one, don't you think guys ?... You shoul really stop thinking that Naruto souldn't be emo for being NEGLECTED, should I spell the word for you ?
Raut aside... I like the idea.
Killing her sister ? It's interesting, but will Naruto actually do it ? It would have been better if he decided to kill her already.
Maybe his sister is blamed, because in the short time she appeared, she acted like a bitch, or a self-righteous one, don't you think guys ?... You shoul really stop thinking that Naruto souldn't be emo for being NEGLECTED, should I spell the word for you ?
Raut aside... I like the idea.
Killing her sister ? It's interesting, but will Naruto actually do it ? It would have been better if he decided to kill her already.
6/23/2013 c1 cy25
"Yes, it is...I want to kill my sister"
The hell? This was almost a semi-decent, if very cliche, story before that line.
"Yes, it is...I want to kill my sister"
The hell? This was almost a semi-decent, if very cliche, story before that line.
6/23/2013 c1 Guest
He wants to kill his SISTER for his PARENTS actions? Good god they need to start doing age restrictions on this site you brats are just too Damn emo and cliche. EVERY Naruto fan fiction featuring his family nowadays has the same crappy overused cliche plot, the PARENTS ignore him and he goes emo with plots to kill his INNOCENT SISTER who actually gives a crap about him. Really does that NOT sound petty to you? Even worse he's so Hellbent on revenge HE becomes a tool to the REAL people responsible for his problems. Also his desire for a petty form of revenge makes him weak, one thing Kishimoto was right about is a person is only strong if they have something to truly fight and DIE for.
He wants to kill his SISTER for his PARENTS actions? Good god they need to start doing age restrictions on this site you brats are just too Damn emo and cliche. EVERY Naruto fan fiction featuring his family nowadays has the same crappy overused cliche plot, the PARENTS ignore him and he goes emo with plots to kill his INNOCENT SISTER who actually gives a crap about him. Really does that NOT sound petty to you? Even worse he's so Hellbent on revenge HE becomes a tool to the REAL people responsible for his problems. Also his desire for a petty form of revenge makes him weak, one thing Kishimoto was right about is a person is only strong if they have something to truly fight and DIE for.
6/22/2013 c1 Batros940
I'm surprised you have Naruto wanting to kill his sister. I mean after how you have it I would think he would just want to use Kabuto to just get out of the village so he can become a shinobi of another village and just forget about his family or at least be part of Orochimaru's invasion of Konoha at the chunnin exams.
I'm surprised you have Naruto wanting to kill his sister. I mean after how you have it I would think he would just want to use Kabuto to just get out of the village so he can become a shinobi of another village and just forget about his family or at least be part of Orochimaru's invasion of Konoha at the chunnin exams.
6/22/2013 c1 kunt-destroyer420
I can see the outcome of this Naruto neglected fic. It will end up unfinished just like all of the other ones.
I can see the outcome of this Naruto neglected fic. It will end up unfinished just like all of the other ones.
6/22/2013 c1 Guest
Shouldn't Naruto goal is to kill his parents not his sister.
Shouldn't Naruto goal is to kill his parents not his sister.
6/22/2013 c1 Sicloup
Jesus fuck, read over your stories at least once before posting. there's so many obvious spelling errors.
Jesus fuck, read over your stories at least once before posting. there's so many obvious spelling errors.
6/21/2013 c1 Fan
Great story! There are a few spelling errors, but other than that, keep up the great work!
Great story! There are a few spelling errors, but other than that, keep up the great work!
6/21/2013 c1 
3Reishin Amara
his sister just wants attention from him...and he wants her dead?Its not technically her fault he was ignored but his parents fault...why is it always the sister being blamed?
3Reishin Amarahis sister just wants attention from him...and he wants her dead?Its not technically her fault he was ignored but his parents fault...why is it always the sister being blamed?
6/21/2013 c1 10Jazbez
Excellent start, I'm assuming that if he does escape from the village then there will be two main sides of the story, one for Naruto and one for his sister.
One option you can try due to the lack of Internet connection to type is to rather write out the main parts of the story, add crude dialogue, and have visual and/or emotional responses and sights in a bulletin format on paper. It's what I do to plan out my one shots for my latest two and it works splendidly. I find that I simply just have to connect what I've already written on paper meaning less time on the computer formulating the plot.
And I'm sorry to hear about your friend, I haven't read your other story so this is the first time I heard this. I wish both you and your daughter the best of luck.
10JazbezExcellent start, I'm assuming that if he does escape from the village then there will be two main sides of the story, one for Naruto and one for his sister.
One option you can try due to the lack of Internet connection to type is to rather write out the main parts of the story, add crude dialogue, and have visual and/or emotional responses and sights in a bulletin format on paper. It's what I do to plan out my one shots for my latest two and it works splendidly. I find that I simply just have to connect what I've already written on paper meaning less time on the computer formulating the plot.
And I'm sorry to hear about your friend, I haven't read your other story so this is the first time I heard this. I wish both you and your daughter the best of luck.