for Broken Clockwork10/22/2013 c5 narutoDkurosaki
Dude I have read each and every fic of yours and I must say this one is your best one each and every plotlines coming to life I must say it was an interesting read but your writing style has me confused my friend...hopefully you may update this faster
Dude I have read each and every fic of yours and I must say this one is your best one each and every plotlines coming to life I must say it was an interesting read but your writing style has me confused my friend...hopefully you may update this faster
10/21/2013 c5 DragonBolt21
Wow that was straight up 180 and why did you have to make minato a cheater. Such a shame and now we might have a forbiddon child... you sir sure know how to make a story more confusing good chapter though
Wow that was straight up 180 and why did you have to make minato a cheater. Such a shame and now we might have a forbiddon child... you sir sure know how to make a story more confusing good chapter though
10/19/2013 c5 Batros940
Okay this isn't a flame just a critique. This reads more like a series of one shots then a concise story. There is no reason for the flashbacks because honestly most of us don't really care how Naruto become a member of Akatsuki just that he is one. I mean he left the village because his parents favored his sister, he doesn't care about them because as far as he could be concerned they are not related to him and fighting them would just be another mission to accomplish even though he would enjoy beating them and showing them how the child they ignored ended up a better shinobi then any they did personally train. Plus with all the back and forth its hard to tell when you are in the story so far, and on top of all that you now thow in that Minato is having a fling with Mikoto, his wifes best friend. When you could have handled that better by maybe having her approach Kushina about it first and then showing what Kushina thought since there have been plenty of fics where Minato and Kushina have had threeways with Mikoto.
Okay this isn't a flame just a critique. This reads more like a series of one shots then a concise story. There is no reason for the flashbacks because honestly most of us don't really care how Naruto become a member of Akatsuki just that he is one. I mean he left the village because his parents favored his sister, he doesn't care about them because as far as he could be concerned they are not related to him and fighting them would just be another mission to accomplish even though he would enjoy beating them and showing them how the child they ignored ended up a better shinobi then any they did personally train. Plus with all the back and forth its hard to tell when you are in the story so far, and on top of all that you now thow in that Minato is having a fling with Mikoto, his wifes best friend. When you could have handled that better by maybe having her approach Kushina about it first and then showing what Kushina thought since there have been plenty of fics where Minato and Kushina have had threeways with Mikoto.
10/15/2013 c5 Guest
Crap
Crap
10/14/2013 c5 
22Vendetta419
Oh boy, I can see Mikoto and Minato marriage coming to an end, I hope this is a pairing between Naruto and Tayuya and is Tayuya a Uzumaki by blood or marriage?
22Vendetta419Oh boy, I can see Mikoto and Minato marriage coming to an end, I hope this is a pairing between Naruto and Tayuya and is Tayuya a Uzumaki by blood or marriage?
10/13/2013 c5 7luffyxrobin-luffyxnami
yeahhhh idk where ur going with this, but the minatoxmikoto thing isnt working for me... sorry im going to have to unfave :/ i hate cheating with a pashion so its more along the lines of where ur taking this story than ur writing capabilities.
7luffyxrobin-luffyxnamiyeahhhh idk where ur going with this, but the minatoxmikoto thing isnt working for me... sorry im going to have to unfave :/ i hate cheating with a pashion so its more along the lines of where ur taking this story than ur writing capabilities.
10/13/2013 c4 Guest
Okay, can you please stop with all the ... crap? It's ... this and ... that. And it's seriously annoying.
Okay, can you please stop with all the ... crap? It's ... this and ... that. And it's seriously annoying.
10/13/2013 c3 Guest
I enjoy the story, but it's really random. It's difficult to figure out what's going on. You might want to consider a little less dialogue.
I enjoy the story, but it's really random. It's difficult to figure out what's going on. You might want to consider a little less dialogue.
10/13/2013 c5 1Impstar
Wow, I'm incredibly disappointed with Minato. I wouldn't have thought he'd do it. And some friend Mikoto is.
And it looks like Narumi is more than a little obsessed. I look forward to the next update.
1ImpstarWow, I'm incredibly disappointed with Minato. I wouldn't have thought he'd do it. And some friend Mikoto is.
And it looks like Narumi is more than a little obsessed. I look forward to the next update.
10/13/2013 c5 darkabyss123
Can you update faster ?
Your story is good. It is one of the only good stories which are on this site. Most others are yaoi crap and about how naruto got pregnant!
Can you update faster ?
Your story is good. It is one of the only good stories which are on this site. Most others are yaoi crap and about how naruto got pregnant!