for Hello Sherlock8/2/2017 c1 Guest
Not a bad piece, but it could use some work though. Firstly, I think you forgot that John had his fingers broken. The chapter right after has John walking around doing normal stuff without even a mention of a cast or hospital visit. Also, John would probably be affected mentally, even if only slightly, by what transpired. Additionally, I believe you accidentally uploaded the chapter with moriarty twice. Why do you have John acting so annoyed and Sherlock so cruel? Maybe try to get in their heads a little more (I know it's hard but it does help). I'm excited to see where you go with the story. Hopefully I was of some help.
Not a bad piece, but it could use some work though. Firstly, I think you forgot that John had his fingers broken. The chapter right after has John walking around doing normal stuff without even a mention of a cast or hospital visit. Also, John would probably be affected mentally, even if only slightly, by what transpired. Additionally, I believe you accidentally uploaded the chapter with moriarty twice. Why do you have John acting so annoyed and Sherlock so cruel? Maybe try to get in their heads a little more (I know it's hard but it does help). I'm excited to see where you go with the story. Hopefully I was of some help.
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