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for Justice Is Done This Day

10/14/2014 c3 23Byakugan789
Being Psychic does not make you evil, most stories/lore on them they're not evil, but good even through persecution and fear that would turn most normal men and women into raging murderous psychopaths. JkR, Marvel and George Orwell not withstanding. Think about what it means to be able to look inside a persons head and experience their memories from their perspective? The sheer amount of empathy you would gain for most people is staggering to imagine.
10/14/2014 c2 Byakugan789
as often as not, the answer to hermione's last question is yes.
3/7/2014 c3 Axcel
Update! This is very entertaining! Tyrael is practically a poster boy for HFY in his own awesome way.
2/9/2014 c1 6Serfius
Wow. That was pretty terrible.

This 'Ex-Archangel' guy is 'masquerading' as an adolescent while wearing a 'very impressive set of steel armour'. Yea, that's convincing. How the heck did he even get there anyways? He fell? Just 'fell' into a magical train? I'd hope you have some sort of plans to explain that ridiculousness, but I won't force myself to suffer through any further chapters to find out.

Luna and this Tyrael guy just stared at each other for 'endless moments'. I'm going to assume you meant 'for what seemed like endless moments' because the two words contradict each other. But even so, such behavior seems pretty far-fetched for what seems to be or have been a divine, immortal, being.

And these descriptions he insists on using are just dumb. 'boy child', 'girl child', its so completely unnecessary and redundant. A boy is a male child. A girl is a female child. I would think that someone who's been around for as long as he has would know this.

Your use of diction is rather lacking, not so much the thoughts of Tyrael, as it's not unlikely that he would have a different manner of speaking, but in the narrative. The words are poorly chosen, there are multiple times where your sentences should be split up, and there are times were commas are needed.

Your dialogue is incredibly disjointed, awkward, and largely fails to convey any sort of emotion. Most of the time the characters might as well be cardboard cutouts with monotone speakers taped to them.

And what's the deal with the words you have caps locked? It's so ugly and it doesn't even have the benefit of making sense with the situation most of the time. 'Hermione Granger saw a FLASH and was Elsewhere' Why did it have to be caps locked? It would've fit much better if you'd left it alone. Also, why the heck is 'Elsewhere' capitalized? Is that the name of the place? If so, how the hell would Hermione know that? And later on in that paragraph: 'She could FEEL herself SPEAK.' Again, why are they caps locked? What purpose does it serve? To emphasize them? If so, there are much better ways to put emphasis on those things. It's called description. Don't tell the audience what's happening, show them.

So, like I said in the beginning, this was just terrible.
1/18/2014 c1 Edmulla
I only wish it was hermoine who you killed off instead of Ron I think Ron is a lot less evil than hermoine is I mean she was right he's just a boy he'll grow out of it she seems to be becoming a bit evil herself no? Or was that the point? If so nice I applaud your genius
Seriously first time I decided to read stories based of a frakkin review you should right one of those video game! FICs
1/10/2014 c1 Guest
You have the bottle to insult other writers and there work and you cone up with this my my how the kettle calls the pan. Its so laim i have waisted my time reading it and even worse i have reviewed the worst storey ever wrote
11/7/2013 c3 Awesomenemo
This is a good story and I love how you offed Ron (and soon Dumbledore) but why Snape if you read the books you'd learn he was actually a nice guy. but bro here is a twist idea! what if Tyrael is actually Bilial Lord of lies, ohhh that'd surprising. update soon
9/12/2013 c3 Anonymous
I'm not really sure what you want to accomplish with this story, there isn't really much of a plot or even really a point for that matter. It seems to mainly be heavy handed monologues and vicarious vengeance fantasies. The rather extensive OoC-ness for Harry seems pretty much straight projection, and the pretty, shall we say, liberal interpretations of the Weasleys seems more personal than artistic. Honestly this mainly seems like a way for you to vent some rather disturbingly close-to-home revenge and potentially murderous fantasies, and I'm no psychologist, but I'm picking up on some pretty deep seated issues man. You should really talk to someone about this shit. Just sayin'.
7/16/2013 c1 The Hermit
Obviously should have taken note of how few reviews. I mean who wants to read this when its written by some deranged imbecile. More brain in an empty match book.
6/25/2013 c3 2Beyogi
Somehow I don't think that Hermione has understood good and evil. Actually she thinks a bit too linear for my liking. Seriously? The angel is no Gryffindor? And in the last chapter she decided an Angel was more important than a Mugwump.

Anyway, great story, thank you for writing, I can't wait for the next chapter,
Beyogi
6/25/2013 c2 38Oxnate
I think you're applying rules for real people on characters from a book. Sure, most of us wanted to throttle Ron more than once but none of us actually did it.
6/24/2013 c2 2Beyogi
Oh... nice. Why do I feel like singing ten little injuns ? I wonder when they begin to fight Tyrael. I mean evil won't just drop over and surrender...

Hermione is such a minion. Can I buy one in a store?

Thank you for writing this captivating story,
Beyogi
6/24/2013 c1 Beyogi
Wow... that's a nasty interpretation of the characters, but probably true. I'm not sure if Ron's really a narcissist as it showed way to rarely in canon, but I guess it's more likely than psychopath!Ron or master-manipulator!Ron. I wonder how many people in the world Tyrael is going to slay. Or if he's just going to kill every asshole in the HP crew.

Thank you for writing this captivating story,
Beyogi
6/23/2013 c1 5Majin Hentai X
Evil must be purged. And did anyone even like Ron that much after book 2?

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