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for A Friend Amongst Enemies

1/17/2014 c3 5CaptainDavidBlake
Quite an interesting piece you have here. I find awesome how we could have such a similar idea, with so many similar plot points, but complete different stories nevertheless. But that's the beauty of art, isn't it?

There's an issue, though, in the 4th line of the flashback it cuts suddenly and then moves to a scene with is obviously a little ahead of where it cut. Made me sad because I rather liked the scene with their father.
An, so, what kind of tank it was, a Panzer I, maybe? Or maybe a Leichttraktor? The later would be a great touch. :)

Will give more feedback once I'm thorough with it.
10/30/2013 c6 23Danny Barefoot
Very historical and convincing, an excellent story. Minor action or even description of previous battles/battle-sites the characters pass by might help break up the background as there is rather a lot of it, but all good. Also, little Miho and Katyusha are quite adorable. Please update soon!
8/28/2013 c6 5kimek
Yahoo! Finally we goes toward action! Nice to see Anchony and Carpaccio,though I more eager to see Erika and other girls from Kuromori mine as Maho's direct subordinates.

So, the upcoming chapters would be a battle of Stalingrad. Wonderful! Since it's AU to both anime and RW can we expect to see some... unique machines?

BTW, good with in your studies.
8/23/2013 c6 IcyBlaze4545
Best chapter yet!, The wait was definitely worth it.
there are only 2 grammatical errors that i saw here and both of them were in your Author's Note at the end. but overall your grammar is improving at a drastic rate, and that's good to see!

Will Maho ever finish her letter?, Will Nonna and the others ever see home again?
can't wait for the next Installment!
Good Luck in College! my 3rd semester starts in a week T_T
8/20/2013 c5 2Alexi Vasilyevich Talenski
I think it would be appropriate to mention the Rhzev Meat Grinder, it was a complete bloodbath there. That a reason it's not very well known in Russia, we don't like to remember defeats
8/7/2013 c5 73Theralion
It's an interesting concept to look at the Girls und Panzer characters in an alternate universe and see how they would deal with being forced into a war.

I have some things to point out regarding characterization, though.
-As I said in my review for "Friendly Acquaintance", Maho seems a bit more openly emotional than she is in canon. Even in scenes in which she's not putting up her cold facade, she's relatively reserved compared to most of the other characters.
-I have a similar comment to make about Miho, especially in Chapter 5's flashback. Maho and Miho are more similar than they first seem. Maho keeps her true feelings secret for much of the series, but you'll notice that Miho is often unwilling to talk about what troubles her until she's directly confronted; in the first episode, she doesn't say why she wanted to avoid tankery until she had to go to the nurse's office and Saori and Hana repeatedly tried to figure it out. It's thus more likely that Maho would have had to press Miho to get her to admit that something like that was troubling her.
-Katyusha also doesn't seem quite as arrogant or bratty as in canon, but that could be attributed to her situation.
-I also have to wonder what Shiho did to inspire so much fear, since in canon, she's well-respected, and Maho has many admirers, but few real friends.
Then again, it is possible that the characters could be affected by having grown up in a different time and place, and it may be worth exploring some of the experiences that shaped those characters in more depth.

I'm curious as to why Maho and the other Nishizumis, as well as Kikuyo, have apparently Japanese names in Nazi Germany. Since Germany seems to be including women in its army, I have to wonder what the historical implications of doing so will be, since this seems to be a possible alternate history. If that's the case, do things like tankery and the idea of school ships still exist in the world of this fic? Providing a detailed look at the setting and doing some worldbuilding would be helpful for this fic.

There are still some proofreading issues, such as "She answered almost shouting at her sisters face" (missing commas and apostrophes). A few issues concern the tense suddenly changing to the present mid-sentence; you should write in the past tense.

"As she SET the pictures aside, something else CAUGHT her eye in the bag. Reaching in she PULLS out the black side cap that was issued to her along with the rest of the clothing. Picking it up, she LOOKS at the signature skull and crossbones of the German Panzer forces. She PUT the cap on, and while doing so, she SETS out a slight sigh of unhappiness."

I'm looking forward to see where this story goes from here.
7/25/2013 c5 IcyBlaze4545
Interesting new chapter!, I KNEW I should have paid attention in History class T_T
In my honest opinion, doing the "Boot camp" segments as little flashbacks or dreams could add an interesting turn to the story, as long as the moments in which they are happening fits the overall mood of that current situation.

I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter! Yay action XD and hopefully later there's "action" _
also it's "Write" not "Wright"
7/23/2013 c4 7Obssesed Nuker
This story could use some serious cleaning up. I see plenty of spelling and grammar errors so I recommend that you find a beta reader who can help you with that. I would, but I don't have the time and patience to do beta reading.

With that said, otherwise I find the story quite neat and your doing a good job. I presume Nonna's father got caught up in the purges...

Also, when you say there will be romance do you mean that this story will have yuri (that is: Nonna/Maho) or are you referring to an OC?
7/4/2013 c4 IcyBlaze4545
Fewer grammar mistakes this time, but only one distracting one.
other than that This is getting rather interesting. Can't wait for the bloody battles! it's going to be very fun to see things from a female prospective, as most of the historical fiction I've read in High school/ elementary were from a view of a young male.

Update soon my friend! You have one eager reader here! XD
7/4/2013 c4 5kimek
Seems that both heroines had a pretty bad spots in their pasts, though considering WHAT kind of period of time they live in it's sadly not surprising. Heh, well it was interesting to meet Nonna's friends - her support, then let's wait to see Maho's group. He-he, if they all girls it could bring an interesting chemistry in future conversation between both parties.

Yay! I had character named after me. Nice feeling, though I would recommend to make it his nickname (like taking few letters from his actual name... Kirill Merkovtsev for example).

Few Russians name for help if you interested: Oleg, Boris, Pyotr, Dmitrii, Alexander, Vyacheslav, Sergey, Konstantin, Yaroslav, Fyodr, Grigory.

And female names: Olga, Svetlana, Tamara, Katerina, Evgenia, Natalia, Varvara, Lyudmila.

Keep going and good luck!
6/29/2013 c3 kimek
Hm, nice to see Maho's interaction with her father, who is sadly absent from anime.

P.S. He-he, it would be really nice to see Maho and Nonna going all cuddly and lovey-dovey with each other.
6/28/2013 c3 IcyBlaze4545
I noticed some grammar mistakes that were a tiny bit distracting some examples would be
"She vowed that her sister would never so much as tough a tank so long as this war waged." shouldn't it be "Touch"
"She could not bear the even thought " doesn't need the "even"
"Yea" is spelled "Yeah" (American spelling maybe?)
"So the train you how to operate this equipment incase something happens like if another war breaks out, or if the ban is lifted? "they" instead of "the" and in case (missing space)
"Hay" should be spelled "hey"

I can't wait for the next chapter _
6/26/2013 c2 IcyBlaze4545
This is getting interesting, seeing how its Rated M I'm pretty sure it's going to be due to the portrayal of the bloody battles that take place within any war, the 2 great ones being exceptionally more brutal. I'm praying for happy ending.

On the side note why do I feeling that not only will the two main characters in this story end up being best friends, but also end up "experimenting" on each other?

other than that awkward statement above, keep it up I'm really hoping to read more! Maho and Nonna need more fanfics _
6/25/2013 c1 kimek
Oh my, Girls & Panzer World War 2... Seems to be interesting reading.
I really liked that now it's Maho and Nonna time to shine since those two my favorite characters from GUP, moreover you really keep Nishizumu family original personalities will and don't worry about OOC behavior of you characters - the circumstances of their lives is vastly different in your story so it's natural that they could nurture different traits of personality.
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