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7/26/2019 c1 Guest
Read ur fic description, decided to see if you it least had skills with writing,and you are decent but its pretty obvious we shouldn't care too much about your fic,lousy storytelling, and completely one sided view about who would win. Too unrealistic. Why do people have to make happy stories, one sided plot armored stories that ignore logic.
7/25/2017 c7 6XxDarkangelxX2003
could of done something involving cloning, a sentinel, and a moniter.
5/21/2017 c12 Guest
Director? As in director of project Freelancer?
5/21/2017 c7 JMGP
HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP! ITS FORGE ITS FORGE!
5/8/2017 c1 2bronyroleplay5
First off, I love the entire story.

Second, the timeline should be BEFORE the parts of your story you currently have above that section. It'd made reading it a lot smoother for first time readers.
3/31/2017 c14 Guest
"The director" Oh shit is chairman Hargrove gonna be the secret main bad guy in later chapters like Joan from the Walking Dead Video Game Season 3 A New Front Tier
1/11/2017 c7 Atticus
When they were opening the pod I thought it would be the flood or the ponies that were there before but once it said it was Forge I was in complete shock and going crazy at the same time
8/25/2016 c4 Legion Breacher
I don't think I can keep reading this story anymore. I gave it a chance but there are too many issues you just seem to hand wave away in the name of the plot.

1. No modern military force would EVER wear gold or silver armor/uniforms. For a peacetime force who only need to be seen as a deterrent and perform ceremonial duties it isn't a problem, but during ware time it is like painting yourself neon orange and running out into an open field screaming "Shoot me! Shoot me!" As Cutter and his marines should have learned this in basic I don't know why they didn't pass it on to the ponies.

2. The UNSC should have been a lot more upset about some of their own not only defecting, but giving classified UNSC information to a foreign power, no matter the circumstances. Furthermore, they knew that there was a fire team of Spartans with the Spirit of Fire. At this point in the Human/Covenant war Spartan IIs are an incredibly valuable resource that are only deployed during the most important engagements and missions. The Council should have demanded the return of the three Spartan IIs that were with the Spirit of Fire and had them rejoin their brothers and sisters back in the field. This isn't a 'I want this to happen' type of should have, it's a 'no government in existence wouldn't have done this' type of should have. Not only would their return have given the UNSC an increase in combat capability, but they also would have given a massive boost to morale, further reinforcing the myth that Spartans never die. Instead those same Spartans are willingly working for a foreign power rather than returning to active duty, something that would cause a large drop in morale among the military.

3. The Spartans working for Equestria. The Spartan IIs were raised and trained to not only be the greatest soldiers humanity had to offer, but also to be completely and utterly loyal to Earth and all it's colonies. Even mentioning the only Spartan II to ever defect around any of the others causes them to experience feelings of anger and shame that one of their brothers or sisters would do that. While I could definitly see the Spartan IIs working WITH Equestria if it meant getting home or gaining the UNSC another ally, they would have been almost pathologically opposed to actually JOINING Equestria. If nothing else they would feel compelled to rejoin the other IIs due to the fact that they see each other as family.

4. The Master Chief and Kelly were both far to friendly and talkative for their characters. While the Spartans open up and talk to each other openly, around anyone else they don't consider one of them they are borderline mute, only talking when they need to and keeping it short and to the point. All Spartan IIs are described as being anti-social with sociopathic tendencies, and are extremely awkward in any sort of social setting.

5. Kelly's rant is actually pretty damn accurate. The ponies have no true combat experience, they have extremely limited experience with the new technology that the Spirit of Fire brought along, and they have extremely limited numbers. Even assuming Equestria is the same size as the United States, before Cutter came along they were the equivalent of America in the mid to late 1800s with all the low population density that implies. If they have a population of even a billion ponies on the entire planet I will be shocked. There doesn't appear to be any dragons, minotaurs, yaks, griffins, diamond dogs or zebra among the military so it is impossible for them to posses a military even a fraction of the UNSC's in size. While their magic would act as a force multiplier, they are nowhere near as effective as Spartans, or possibly even ODSTs. If they took even half as many casualties as the UNSC Marines in battle their military would be in tatters in under a year with the casualty rate the Human-Covenant war produces.

And these are just the problems that I remember, there are probably a few more I forgot as I was writing this. I realize this is fanfiction and you can do whatever you want, and will even go so far as to say that your writing is pretty good, but there are just too many problems with it for me to just shrug off and keep reading. It feels too much like you are writing a 'Ponies are superior and they are going to fix everything with the power of magic and friendship even though logic says they shouldn't be able to' fic. I'm sorry to say that that type of fic is just not my cup of tea. I wish you luck in the future, and bid you adieu.
8/25/2016 c1 Legion Breacher
Not sure how I feel about you changing Halo history so that humanity is ruled by the Ponies. I'll admit that my understanding of the Halo universe mostly comes from the games as well as the first three books, but to the best of my knowledge the central pillar of the Halo lore is that Humanity is the Forerunner's Reclaimers due to them being seen as the race most capable of taking up the Mantle of Responsibility. That fact is why the Prophets order the Covenant to exterminate the UNSC, why Forerunner tech only responds to human gene codes, and why the Monitors help and follow the orders of the various humans they meet (when they aren't rampant anyway).

With ponies being the leaders of the Empire opposing the Forerunners they would be seen as more capable than the humans, thus causing the Forerunners to make them the Reclaimers. If Ponies were the Reclaimers, the Prophets would never have declared war on the humans, at least not to the extent of attempted genocide. This also means that the events of all the Halo games, including Halo Wars, would never have happened.

That said, the story seems rather well written so far and I'm curious enough to give this story a chance and will do my best to reserve judgement until I've read more.
7/18/2016 c14 Jack905
epic speech.
7/18/2016 c6 Jack905
That was epic.
7/18/2016 c4 Jack905
So far so good.
7/18/2016 c3 Jack905
Looking good.
6/23/2016 c19 Guest
Just finished reading the new version on FIMfiction and it is alot better than this one although I do wish the main 6 and the CMC are incorporated into the story atleast there's no insurrection.
1/24/2016 c1 Guest
Why do we the new sovereignty again?it's just complicating the plot and doesn't make sense at I still love the story though.
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