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for Cinders And Frostbite

1/19/2014 c1 Stellarlight
Awesome! I love the drabble : )
7/10/2013 c1 2samaramorgane
That was good!
7/6/2013 c1 tlc125
7/2/2013 c1 91the lola
Lovely lovely lovely. You do really have a talent, and it's very good to know that even if you don't like a pairing you can still write it fantastically. It all seems so surreal as I read, but then I see how it's surreal to them too and you've been clever enough to pull the reader and the characters together. Ah, it's fabulous. Your language as well is just stunning.
6/28/2013 c1 9public static void
You said it isn't your cup of tea but this is perfect! I like that they both know their romance wouldn't work, but still are with each other because they like it that way. Additionally, I love that poem and the fact that you made it work with this drabble, is great!
6/28/2013 c1 50StrawberryDuckFeathers
First of all, the stark contrast between the two is great, and what's even better is the way you've described that contrast, because you've even incorporated character description in there. Ginny seems like the warm-hearted lively type, and Hermione the more reserved, yet potentially spiteful type in your story. Excellent! The way you describe Hermione even made me feel cold.

[Yes, the world shall end, but not today.] The change in mood here is a nice one. For me, there's an idea that these two will soon get into an argument that will cause huge chaos, and their apparent power is hinted at through the opening sentences- but for now, they are calm, and so there's both an element of anticipation (Like a cliffhanger that leaves you wondering how their clash will happen and what will happen as a result) and it also leaves you with a calm feeling (that they aren't going to 'end the world' just yet.)

The realistic, relatable setting is something I feel really adds to the story, as the location of the area and the sounds of life outside are something almost everyone is familiar with, and whilst it's not a grand or perfect setting, it's comfy, and this emphasising their romance for me. It makes it seem like they don't need the grandeur to be happy when they've got each other. It seems they're so in love with each other that they're completely oblivious to most of the world outside of that flat, too. :P

It's wonderful that the contrast between fire and ice is spread throughout the entire story and not just at the beginning. In my personal opinion, it seems that their contrasting fiery and icy spirits were once something they loved about each other (time may be frozen, but the trail of kisses that Ginny so carefully placed on Hermione's neck felt as if they were afire), but then maybe it grew to be something that they felt made them too distant (Ginny was a blazing inferno, leaving nothing but cinders in her wake. Hermione's very touch gave frostbite- I'm also thinking that the way these two lines are in separate paragraphs provides that distance in the layout that matches that of the characters, something else I thought was clever about this piece).

Maybe I am thinking too much into this, but maybe the fire and ice is a symbol of something else; fire cannot come too close to ice without melting it. Maybe that's a sign that their distance becoming closer would be what caused problems... There's so much you can get out of this fire and ice idea, and the way it's really engaging me with the story and making me think about it is something I like. ;)

("This isn't the real world,") Ginny's line was so sweet! I like how it hinted at how special Hermione was to her. It's as if being with her is something so magical and special to her that it just can't be real. Aww! :3

I really like the idea in the last line, too; it's kind of like it's saying 'they won't always be together, but for now they're making the most of their relationship' or something.

My apologies, but I have no critique or suggestions to give for this piece.

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I really love this story! It doesn't give away all the information, it gives just enough to keep you interested- and just enough so it makes you think about why 'fire' and 'ice' may 'end the world', and I really like the contrast between the two. The dialogue provides so much in only two lines, and it really makes you respond emotionally to it. The tone in the ending is sweet, too, and makes you wonder might happen later...

Great job on this piece, and keep up the good work! :D

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