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for Star Fox 40,000: Space Hulk

11/11/2018 c1 36SPG inc
Nice fic. Cool to see Krystal going full merc on that cultist's ear. Nice touch with the Imperial loyalist.

I shouldn't worry too much about the lore of Warhammer if I were you- its always being changed anyway- I swear the Necrons once had a completely different back story that no one but me seems to remember (I feel like I've been moved into another timeline by a chronomancer). Also, one of the novels in the Games Workshop Word Bearer series has the wrong definition of a Kill Team. Given enough time most WH stories are gonna be wrong in some way.

As for Sicarius, personally I've always thought the organisation of the chapters was unclear. Case in point- both Star Fox 40k and the Ultramarines movie and in the lore concerning the Imperial Fists still defending Terra, whole space marine companies are depicted on garrison duty. Considering the chapters are forbidden from having more than a thousand fighting marines, even just a single company on guard duty is a notable portion of their strength. Plus, even Space Marines will get rusty if left standing guard and no one invades for a hundred years. GW really should gives some updates to address that.
9/22/2017 c1 Anonymous
For the "sticking to the lore" problem, I can see in only a few ways that Jacques can still friends of the StarFox crew and have this stick to Warhammer 40K lore. The answer is simple, betrayal is the key to having the crossover fit both sides of lore into the next story. With Jacques already showing that he is favoring emotions for the StarFox crew over the common rule of with dealing with xenos "Which is to purge all in path" that could raise concerns for those of the Imperial Guard and those under the Inquisition. With hostilities already peaked from the last story between the Imperium of Man and those of the Lylat System, it would be a perfect setup for something to happen were Jacques being forced to make a choice to either turn his back on the StarFox crew or he turns his back on the Human Imperium and him being marked as a traitor after saving the StarFox crew by say killing a high ranking Imperial official, "Most likely an Inquisitor" who was going to kill them on the spot if he didn't intervene. Jacques's betrayal to the Imperium would not only single him out as his on character instead of another Space Marine, but also adds to the conflict that he has more free thinking than an average Space Marine is suppose to posses and that would give him a conscience which will enable him to save the StarFox crew. It will stick to the Warhammer 40K lore because he would be an individual and not represent the entire chapter. Or have a twist and Jacques chooses the Imperium over his friends in the StarFox crew and go under a heart breaking betrayal that will most likely end up killing someone close to the StarFox crew. It would be closer to the Warhammer 40K lore because of the well know fact of the Space Marines being cold and heartless, but I wouldn't recommend it since Jacques already expresses fondness for StarFox. Either way Jacques will have to choose and then suffer in some way because of his choice, either way his betrayal to either side will be the key element to keeping the Lore intact. So now what's it going to be, him taking the path to separate him from the Imperium and be labeled as a traitor, or to become one again with the Space Marine collective under the Imperium of Man.
4/30/2017 c1 Guest
My only real problem is how you have an *Ultramarine* of all people calling xeno "friend". "Ally" maybe, but Ultramarines take the codex very seriously, and even under orders would be unc
3/24/2016 c1 7H.G.Wells
Enjoyed this little side-fic; I have fond memories of your Star Fox/Warhammer 40k crossovers. It's cool if you want to modify them a bit, maybe do a new version of realm of chaos, if you ever do get back to it.

I liked how we get a bit more insight into the Kew Campaign, that first Human-Lylatian conflict. Given that the Cornerians managed to board an Imperial Navy cruiser, that would suggest the fighting wasn't so one-sided - that the Cornerian army aren't just the helpless pieces of meat who get butchered by the 40k denizens almost constantly. Sure, they could never match the Imperium, but with enough advanced tech they have potential to be almost as deadly an opponent as the Tau in the Damocles crusade. If you ever come back to this awesome crossover universe you created, a fic covering the Kew War would be pretty cool. But don't let me push you into anything.

And I liked how the SF characters face up to how they need to get used to the brutality of the 40k universe. It's a tough one to live in, that's for sure. With regards to a reboot you talk about in your AN, keeping Chaos as the main villain is totally reasonable - but you're right, don't include too many aspects of 40k. The Eldar and Orks would still be cool to have, though. And Sturrn. :)

Keep on writing, and stay golden!

8/20/2013 c1 Zorpox
Abaolutly love your work man ! You have started a new phase among me and my one friend. We absolutly love warhammer and i have recently created my very own space marine chapter and named the " The Cerinians" a chapter formed from the ultramarines, 3000 years after the events on cerinia , they mostly consist of close followers of Jacques believes and well i dont wanna bore you with the rest , just please keep up the good work, your stories full my over active emagination with bright colors :) Emperors blessings upon you brother ..
8/6/2013 c1 Iceplague
I'll keep my general praise towards the end, and I'll try to keep it fairly short for that. I'd just like to actually take a few seconds to talk about the story itself first as, well, it is something of a review.

First of all, I liked it. It moved quickly, the imagery and dilapidated feel is certainly there and the actual story comes about quite naturally. It's been tremendous to see how your writing skills have developed and it's really worked into a piece that I hope people really do appreciate. The explanation of the Lylatan/Imperialis truce in full was something that I rather liked too. I really didn't know where you were going to go with it and I didn’t actually realize its significance to the story right up until you spelled it out with the time distortions between the materium and immaterium. Should be 40K:101 I know, but for some reason it didn't exactly dawn on me so I appreciate that. I'd have actually liked to get a glimpse into how the Lylatans may have changed a little more too, just a description about any quirks that may have developed given the incredible lapse of time between Kew and now. From uniforms to physiology (assuming some advances in medicines and social factors) linguistics, mentalities, etc would have all been interesting to see in the boarding crews and explored by the current team. While the Imperium hasn't drastically changed by necessity of their working 'cogs' being required to function in its archaic way, I always imagined civilizations like Lylat, as the Tau, would progress when not hampered by external forces and seeing your take on their differences would be been delightful. Anyway, onwards.

Mechanically it was fun, not too much I can see that would distract from pacing, descriptions have gotten nice and strong, something about the environment in particular has really picked up and helped quite a bit in establishing the setting and theme. The characters, particularly Kryptmann was quite a nice contrast and I'm just something of a Falco fan so most everything just hit the right chord. There was nothing that took me out of the story, I think I stammered a bit in reading maybe once where I had to reread a section but it could very easily be me reading at a very late hour. So all in all, well done, it was quite enjoyable as an independent one off story.

Now, for those questions: I definitely appreciate the genre savvy and reasonable actions the team took. I always imagined a ship as large in scale as the Imperial capitol classes would be like moving around the USG Ishimura from Dead Space, a vast vessel with its own transportation, works, and near sub-colony for the ratings and the like which would make wandering down those cramped metal corridors a veritable death sentence. Sure some parts of those cruisers are wide open but it would be like navigating a hive city even with the auspex through the sub-levels. So that approach is something I certainly appreciate that helped suspend my disbelief. Likewise, the farther in to those kind of ships you go, the more gothic horror they become with the many cognitors and servators entombed in their stations which could take away from the effect that later experiences as a whole were supposed to have on the team.

Secondly, I can understand that kind of a hesitancy (and this is going to sound like a tremendous cop out) but I wouldn't worry about it much. The series is plain out enjoyable to read, adherence to the lore is something admirable but it's not usually a make or break deal, it's a matter for discussion in subsequent reviews and chapters. The author remains in control giving head-bobs to the consistency and sometimes the minutiae that could be really appreciated by the most knowledgeable fans of either genre. Slavering adherence shouldn't detract from it, and lessons are learned as you go along so they can be incorporated later on. Consistency in your own vision of what you want from the story really is the primary concern, as there's more of a problem from many readers standpoint of characters simply adapting to fit canon rather than remaining to what you interpret them as. After all, fiction (fan or just subsequent novelization) is an act of interpretation and envisioning characters in a believable but still unique way. The directions that you take them in is what gives it its flavor. Problems when it comes to numbers can be cleared up easily, and I can't be the first to say that Warhammer's particular pantheon like heroes tend to be... shall we say, unique and not always particularly internally coherent when it comes to some of their decisions. Part of that is the paradoxical relationship from warhammer 40K's static setting yet ever changing descriptions and elaborations that can over-rule and ret-con their own work. Thus we get advances in characters, designs, technology, and aesthetics, and concepts, but no time passed which often means they introduce new aspects further back in their own time to catch up with present setting. I don't even think that Sicarus was present when you wrote the first part of the series, the Ultramarines were still blue and yellow, and the whole Tyrranic war was a brand new concept and direction. Merely an observation, but what I mean to say is that there's almost always going to be some 'obsoleteness' in a sense of concepts and designs by material continuously introduced. So long as you can phrase it in your own internal logic I don't see a major problem with some discrepancies. However, if you decide to do re-writes, my best wishes to you mate. It's no small task and I hope you never give up on it. Still I can see the appeal with limiting the number of 40K elements in it when it comes to the magnitude (Cramming as you said it quite well) to give it something of a smother and more coherent theme which allows a greater expansion on individual elements.

Now, on a more author based question, if you wouldn't mind indulging me, how has it been trying to adapt the vastness of 40k's scale to Lylat's more manageable numbers and industrial dynamic? Warhammer 40K has some 'commonality' in aesthetic theme but quite a bit is covered with numbers juggling: 'intractable countless billions of men' and 'monolithic edifices of indefatigable rockrete of unthinkable proportions', which sounds grand but it doesn't exactly suggest much other than 'biglots'. Lylat has something more manageable with named worlds, definite seeming city numbers, and a comparatively finite amount of resources so finding a balance then internalizing that disparity between Imperials and Lylatans seems like it would be quite tricky. It's why Gaunt's Ghost novels have been enjoyable yet almost seem at odds with some of 40K's hammered-home themes.

Now for a bit of praise, sorry it's going to sound fanboy-ish of me...
... but I honestly can't believe I'm writing. This has all been something of a blast from the past for me and I'm somewhat starstruck and mesmerized. I remember reading your original story not long after it was completed (I think I actually waited for the last chapter or two) but I never really did say much, something of a 'shy-nobody my voice is meaningless' IE lurker. Your whole Star Fox 40,000 was one of the very first fan fiction works I've ever read, and I still remember it as something of a glorious golden age. I remember reading at least some of the beginning of Realm of Chaos, though I couldn't remember the ending (I'm almost positive that it wasn't done when I read it, or I just didn't want it to end. One or the other). I never did contribute much to this site, I read a few stories, got busy with things, and wandered off. I just recently started to kind of get back into reading some 40K stuff, thought immediately of Star Fox 40K and thought 'hey, I'm going to go reread it, a good nostalgia trip might be fun, I wonder if it's still there. What was it called?' and so I looked, and found it again, finished reading it over a period of a few days... and then I blinked seeing this and the new chapters. It wasn't just a nostalgia trip, I just realized how much I enjoyed it.

I'm still sort of amazed, so for years of fond memories and a perpetually good feeling about fan fiction in general, thank you many-many times mate. I wish you the best of luck, the best of muses, and I do so hope to read more. It's been an honor and I'm just glad I could actually say something a total of some, what, six or seven years after the fact.
7/20/2013 c1 Imperial Priest
You make Humanity Look Bad!Heretic Seize this Heretic Burn Him!Kill all the Furries!Praise the Emperor!Heretic!You have given up your humanity!You have become a Faithless Hopeless Furry Heretic!
7/10/2013 c1 MurphysLaw89
Yeah, a rewrite sounds about good at this point.

And also...

HOLY S*** MAN! I never thought I was going to see an update from you in years!
7/9/2013 c1 1ArchWarrior213
Yeah i would suggest that you rewrote it. I read them and they were not bad but did not feel as though I was reading something from warhammer40k. It missed the dark and gritty feeling that I would get from it. Also from what I was reading you were portraying the imperium as evil douches second to Chaos. In the universe none of the races are perfect as they all have their faults. For example you forgot how the Eldars are arrogant and will betray anyone if it benefited their kind and then there is the naive Tau with their communist society and their belief in the greater good. You were ignoring their faults to put it bluntly. I am not trying to flame you just giving you some criticism.

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