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1/27/2020 c2 Guest
Shit no likey at all
11/16/2016 c2 hansgyver62
Update soon
3/12/2014 c3 Shiki Ouji sama
And here I though It was another chapter update..
Please update this fic
11/18/2013 c2 6Lightningblade49
gin would be a good recruit along kuro as long as Naruto's him under control ive seen some good stories with him joining the strawhats.
10/8/2013 c2 StrongGuy159
Cool 2 chapters continue please.
9/14/2013 c1 3Terra ace
not exactly a new concept, and the thing seemed to be hashed out.

If you're looking for empty praise, this isn't it.

My tips:

Make it hell of a lot longer. This is the concept chapter, a rough outline, so to speak. The grammar, the dialogue, and the chapter itself isn't up to snuff to be considered a decent piece.

Even if the idea is reused, try and make it unique. Deaths by offscreen poison is pretty weak. At least break scene and flesh out the death scene, even if you have to put in "Nameless person" or "shadowy assassin" to not giveaway the perpetrator in Naruto's parent's deaths.

Anyways, thats all I've got for this thing.

Terra Ace
9/7/2013 c2 herbert89
i like this keep up the great work and update soon
9/7/2013 c2 Shiki Ouji sama
Love this story...
Please update soon..
9/7/2013 c2 Guest
I think it's cool
8/6/2013 c1 kevinplr2h
Epic chapter please keep it up!
7/16/2013 c1 HeLlHoUnD555
Ok one add a little more detail not just a swear vengence thing make a plot out of it and make your chapters longer

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