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7/30/2006 c3 3storylistener
Okay, I'm still confused. Where are we NOW! Also what Era is it? like before or after the Mage Storm Trilogy. What in the world is an elf doing in Velgarth and since when do Companions cross countries to choose(Kantor with Alberich doesn't count, he just crossed a border, not a country), let alone continents? I don't think anyone in Velgarth even knows there are such things as other continents. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, I'm just trying to help. Your story so far raises more questions then plot lines. Other then that, it seems like a good first fanfic. Just try to keep in mind that your reader can not read your mind to find out all of these facts. Good Luck and Good Job!
7/30/2006 c2 storylistener
Okay, this is a wonderful story so far, but I'm a little confused. Who was talking in chapter one and who is talking now?Are they human or other? You might want to add some more descriptions so people know what your characters look like and to help keep straight who is telling the story (namely what view point is the scene from). This will help lengthen your chapters. Other then that, GOOD JOB!
6/29/2003 c3 angelo dell'inferno
Hmm, interesting story. Not much to say as yet. Put a bit more up and then there should be something to say. At the moment the story is a bit hard to understand but that should be fixed with later chapters *hint hint*
12/15/2002 c1 3Nenfea
You know that this story makes no sense right? I like it, but you should have longer chapters focused more on each of one characters and telling more of a story.

ps-I know where you live! FWAHAHAHAHAHA!
11/18/2002 c3 DragonsEclipse
Excellent and well written! I love this! Please post the next chapter soon! I need to find out what happens next! It's nice to find another Mercedes Lackey fan! I never knew so many people liked her. I'm a big fan of hers . Anyway, tell me when you post the next chapter! I'd appreciate it. And if you find the chance, do you mind reading some of my stuff? Keep writing! ^_^
9/22/2002 c3 1Aileen2
Thank you for the complments Dream Keeper, and all who tried to read this story.

Yes, I know no elfs in valdemar, but that's why I stuck them in there. Difrent from the books is what i'm trying for.

Banadar, you should have gotten a email about this, but what i'm try for is to show she's surpised, but trying not to show it. Thank you for the tips.

Rats and Ola, I'm working on the length... It might get longer as I pull up steam.

Aileen, gryphon author of this fic.
9/21/2002 c3 17Dream Keeper
oooooooooo! Good story twist! Though I must complain, Mercedes Lacky never used any elves in her Valdimar series... makes for a good twist though...
9/21/2002 c2 Dream Keeper
AK! Poor girl! (at least I think its a girl) Hm... she sounds a lot like my sis. *lol* Gotta see what the next chapter holds.
9/21/2002 c1 Dream Keeper
Hey, thats a really good story so far... though I don't understand half of it... but then I havn't read any of your fics before... GOtta read the next chapter.
9/19/2002 c3 2Banadar
I like the plot line of your story so far.

But, I do have a few things I found wrong. For one you have a few spelling and grammar errors that could probably be stopped by using spell check. The other thing is that you are almost too descriptive. For example, "Turning, gray eyes blinked, and pale, slender finger pulled thick, dark green, hair back over pierced, dagger pointed ears." It's very descriptive but it's too much for one sentence. My suggestion (which you can ignore if you feel like it) is that you spread it out more. Like, maybe making the descriptions into different sentences so you develope the character at a more steady rate and not through all that information at the reader at once.

Those are just merely my suggestions. Please don't take them too harshly because I really like your story and I hope you keep going with it. Good luck:)

Banadar^-^
9/14/2002 c1 4The Flying Rats
Wow! This is good! Our only suggestion would be to make it longer. Don't be afraid of big chapters/stories! Threads of Insanity is already 35 and we're not done with the second chapter. Update soon please, we wanna read more!

Julie&Krissy - The Flying Rats
9/3/2002 c1 13ola
ggrr, no anonimous reviews? didn't feel like like loging on. oh, well. a good start. kind of short =)

you should develop your characters a bit more, but i guess you'll do that when you get a bit more writen down. post soon!

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