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6/25/2020 c1 1blackcatcoffee
I like how you manage the tone light, I’d say it’s a bit like half-crack. And I cannot stop giggling at what Ragna named the Confessor. I think your best work for this oneshot is in the third paragraph, the marching soldiers. The (one at a time) across the bridge just killed me lol. Specificity is its own humor.
8/4/2014 c1 9TheImperious
Took a lot of effort to get over the anime warhammer mash up. You did both the 40k gore and the anime humour very well, but the ideas competed with one another. Even in parodies I don’t think of the adepts (especially DA and SoB) as overtly silly. But the eastern influence in the you funny-ness was delightful on its own merits.
2/25/2014 c1 1TheAlagoano
I wasn't expecting to see a sequel. In general a good story, I specially liked the call back to the original.
The only downsides I could notice were some grammar errors and some differences from canon. But then again this story is a parody so it isn't that important
2/14/2014 c1 PokemonAsLeaders
Well. I'm writing this review completely blind, as I have never even heard of the fandom before. In saying that, I noticed a few things while reading. First of all, nice action scenes, even though I have never even heard of the fandom, I really got a feel for what is going on. Secondly, I noticed a few mistakes as I re-read some parts: when you say, "All the memory went back", it doesn't really make much sense. It would make more sense if you said, "I was about to reprimand her for not making sense, but then I remembered. I remembered, ect, ect. Also, when you said, "A harsh blow on his cranium knocked the Dark Angel Company Master off cold. Ragna fell without a sound.", I think you were trying to say, "A harsh blow to his cranium knocked the Dark Angel out cold; Ragna fell without a sound. Other then that, I think this story is good. It has really good action scenes; I love how you drew the battles out. I'm sorry that I can't give anymore advice/concrit, but since I'm completely blind to this kind of fandom...
10/20/2013 c1 3thesimpledaydreamer
Sorry for the late review, things have been busy. This is a pretty funny story so far, since it's in the humor category I won't get all nit-picky about canon. One bit of advice though, the Dark Angels are brooding and paranoid of everything and everyone, in this story they are a too open and congenial. You can have a good time making them funny with their paranoia, brooding, and intense personalities. Especially they're secret never ending quest to find all of the fallen, and the great lengths they go to keep it a secret, even though it's kind of an open secret in the Inquisition at this point. Here is an example. Dark Angel "Nothing heretical happened at Caliban, we went out to get some smokes, when we got back the entire planet was gone except our fortress monastery, we honestly have no idea what happened. Our Primarch went out for a walk, he should be back in a few days." Inquisitor "Is that really the story you are going with?" Dark Angel "Of course, why would honest, loyal trustworthy servants of the Emperor lie about a possible heresy and never ending shame upon our chapters honor, you don't know us at all do you?" Still your story is off to a good start.
10/13/2013 c1 12Princess Unikitty
looks great so far. keep it up.
10/9/2013 c1 KennyGant7865
Hope to see more. :
7/24/2013 c1 Fives32
More chapters are required for this tale.
7/23/2013 c1 JerryCan111
Keyword being 'was'. Didn't make it past the self destructable undies myself lol
7/23/2013 c1 6MEleeSmasher
What the in the name of the God Emperor was I reading?

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