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for I Knew Him First, I Knew Him Last

12/7/2016 c1 23LadyEnterprise1701
Ohhhhh...poor Chekov. I don't think I ever considered how his actions in The Search for Spock may have been (partly) motivated by guilt and a need to redeem himself. Thanks for that insight!
8/14/2015 c1 23IrishPanther
Not a huge fan of Star Trek, but I think I know the basics to understand this fic.

First off, I love the setting that you put this fic into. Two shipmates reflecting on their time about someone nearing death or has died – you do an excellent job intertwining these two reflections, which gave this one-shot a better overall flow.

With Scotty’s reflection, you showed me how Spock, starting out as a lieutenant under Pike, as being one that does not bode well with friendships. Sure, he and Scotty worked well together and had a lot in common, but that kinda looks to me like simple teammates rather than great friends. It’s with the addition of Kirk that Spock starts to open up, thus allowing Scotty to see that Spock can develop friendships – and it continues on through the rest of his voyage.

[Mr. Spock opened up to Captain Kirk and became less of a mystery to the rest of us, at least those of us who worked with his regularly.]

This sentence right here speaks volume to me. It’s right here that Scotty realizes that, no matter what, Spock will be closer to Kirk than to him. And it’s with that mindset that prompts Scotty to ponder this…

[I wish I had known him better. Because he’s moments away from dying and the universe will be a darker place for it.]

All in all, it was because of Kirk that Scotty saw Spock in a different light, and it was through this light that Scotty now regrets not knowing him better. I had something personal occur to me a couple years back that helps me relate to Scotty in this instance, and I feel for him all the more.

Moving on to Chekov, being the last to know Spock, he ended up being the second-most member of the Enterprise that truly got to know Spock. Through his mentoring, Chekov learned from Spock, and it’s because of this tight-knit bond that Chekov ultimately feels broken by Spock’s death. However, there is hope – now that Spock is alive, Chekov clings onto that slimmer of hope that Spock can become himself once again – a dim light at the end of a long tunnel.

In terms of SPAG, there were a few words that seemed out of place, mostly within the Scotty section [“It wannae long…,” and “…take shore leave.” among a few others]. I’m not too sure, because of fandom blindness, if this is how Scotty would have spoken; if it is, then kudos for keeping him in character! If not, then just a heads up of a few SPAG errors.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this one-shot! Personally, I enjoyed Scotty’s section more than Chekov, and I honestly think it had to do with personal connection – I’ve been through Scotty’s reflection, whereas with Chekov, I can’t recall something similar happening to me. Nonetheless, both sections were written amazingly, and you did a fantastic job once again with intertwining them – through darkness, a slimmer of hope shines through, and it’s through this hope that Chekov can help Spock become himself once more, and through that, Scotty can connect the way he always wanted to. Once more, great job on this piece and happy writings to you in your near future! :)
8/14/2015 c1 mockingjaybrandybuck
Hello, completely fandom blind here, but your story looked interesting, so here we go.

First off, you title is intriguing and has an emotional quality that made me want to investigate.

I did noticed a typo. It “wannae” long. I think that’s supposed to be “wasn’t long.” And another typo with Vulcans didnae (didn’t?)

Wee bairns? Scottish? I only know that phrase from the Scottie in Lady and the Tramp, so that’s what it made me think of.

That whole last paragraph was really powerful. The whole introduction of his dying captured my attention. And the whole I knew him first or last and what that means for each person, how they reconcile their relationship with Spock is really moving.

Also, since I’m fandom blind, I don’t know what is going on regarding the brain scrambling, but it sounds heartbreaking. I’ll admit, I don’t fully understand what is happening in the end, but it still made for a fascinating read.
8/14/2015 c1 acctdisabled
Hey there, coming over from the RLT forum, your one-shot was named STOW. Congrats! So I have to admit my canon knowledge of Star Trek is not the greatest, but I do understand the relationships you are referring to below.

The contrast between Scotty’s ‘I knew him first’ and Chekov’s ‘I knew him last’ had a great impact on the emotional toll Spock’s death had on them and how the two respectively felt about their relationship with Spock.

I loved the concept of omnipresent thoughts, which is great because you conveyed a lot of guilt and regret without having to use any dialogue. Right away Scotty makes the connection with Spock due to having something particular in common: their minds. Heh, he even hinted a bit at perhaps being less of a worker at times compared to Spock. Loved the juxtaposition between Scotty calling him “Mr. Spock” and the “…never anything personal between us, despite many an effort…” which is a nice way to convey the often private nature of Spock that was hard to access.

The information on Captain Kirk revealed that talent is not always the best indicator of success, for Scotty illuminated on the fact there are intangibles about Kirk that make him a proficient leader, to the point of quieting Scotty’s doubts. In fact, Scotty was willing to admit frustration that Spock quickly became closer to Kirk while Scotty tried to work so hard to get to know Spock. For the line “But during our first five-year..” probably a dropped comma, right after ‘but.’ However, it nice to see Scotty conveyed some gratitude towards Kirk, for without him Scotty would not have learned more about Spock.

“Spock has eyes and thoughts only now for the Admiral,’ with “But I knew him first’ was so great to show the resentment Scotty felt over being the third wheel at times. There is a tinge of regret in him that he was unable to reach Spock more, and wished things had been different.

For Chekov, it was cool to see his inner thoughts came from after Spock’s revival and there is certainly a more of an admirer and mentee sort of feel to it. With Scotty you felt with his relationship they were almost equals, and he wasn’t satisfied with his relationship level. Chekov, on the other hand, seemed grateful for whatever time he had with Spock, and comes to see him as a hero figure. Now, I found it interesting he did not touch on Scotty, and perhaps Chekov’s time with Spock could have been another source of frustration for Scotty.

“I came to see that the fact he was a Vulcan did not…feel loyalty and friendship” was awesome because he seems to get something Scotty failed to: understand what friendship means to Spock and how he goes about expressing it. Chekov really went into depth on the character and traits of Spock, which I thought conveyed how close they became, and an excellent contrast to Scotty’s relationship. The ending was great too as Chekov almost has to start over with Spock after what happened with Khan, and really he is almost back in the same position Scotty sees himself in now. He can relate to what Spock is going through by starting over, which is something I surmised Scotty did not fully understand, as Scotty’s thoughts were more self-centered compared to Chekov.

Last line was a great way to close out the one-shot- Spock will forgive him immediately, but Chekov cannot escape the burden of guilt he feels. Great job!
8/12/2015 c1 75TolkienScholar
I really enjoyed reading this story. :) I'm familiar with the original series, but I haven't seen it in a long time, and while I remember Scotty clearly, I'm not quite sure who Chekov is. And I don't think I've seen any of the movies straight through, so I don't know the full storyline. But I've always loved Spock, so I was excited to read this.

I really like what you did with portraying the accents, and how you used them to identify who was narrating. Not knowing the full storyline, I wasn't sure who "knew him first," and when I got to "It wannae long," I was initially like "What? 'wannae'?" And then I realized it was Scotty's accent, and I grinned. This was so cute: "It wannae long before I realized that Mr. Spock had a brilliant mind, and I've been known to get a similar praise a time or two." It's so funny that Scotty would ever compare his intelligence to Spock's, and in such a modest way, too - "a time or two." Too cute! :)

I've always loved the close friendship between Spock and Kirk, but here, telling it from Scotty's point of view, you actually made me feel sad that Scotty wasn't able to get as close to Spock as Kirk. Though you did it in a rather funny way: "I'm ashamed to admit that I was in a wee bit of a snit over that for a time." :) It was this phrase that made me realize how badly he really felt over it: "the rest of us behind in the dust." I'm so impressed how you were able to make me feel for Scotty in a way that I had never felt before. That's good writing! :)

As I said, I'm much less familiar with Chekov, but I think you did well with your characterization there as well; you did make me care about him, though not as much as Scotty. It was pretty clear from the beginning that "Wulcan" was his own personal speech mannerism, and I think you did well with incorporating it. I got the impression that Chekov is a more emotional kind of man than Scotty; or maybe it's just because he's younger and because he knew Spock as a mentor rather than as a peer. What he says about Spock's form of heroism, as well as some of the other things, felt more like an admiring tribute than anything Scotty said. And if one thing makes his youth clear, it's this: "I wanted to attract the ladies like [Kirk] did too." LOL! :)

Again, I don't know what Chekov did, but I know how hard it is to feel guilty over something that you know you can never undo, even if it wasn't your fault. You really made me fell sorry for him, and especially in his relating it to how Spock would have thought: "I know logically that I was not responsible for my actions that aided Khan, and I know that Mr. Spock would not hold me responsible." The ending is perfect, and I like how you end on a note of hope. :)

Very well done! I enjoyed this piece!
8/11/2015 c1 123Midorima Kazunari
Congratulations on being named RLt’s story of the week. I love the classic Star Trek, so I’m gladly here to read and review.

Scotty is a great character and I love how you threw in little bits of accent without being overwhelming. It was just enough to hear his voice, but not so much that it was hard to read. It was a great balance.

“…a schoolboy practicing arithmetic…” Since both actors were adults, it was very difficult to grasp the age difference between them, so I really like this sentence and points out that yes, Scotty was a great deal older and had a lot more experience.

“But, Captain Kirk proved…captain as Captain Pike.” Wow, three ‘captains’ in that one little sentence. May I suggest thinking about removing at least two of them, “But Kirk proved… captain as Pike.” Something like that would make that sentence flow better.

…Spock was a person worth knowing well.” That’s a really nice turn of phrase.

“Wulcan exiled outlaws,” Lol, again nice job of just hinting at the accents!

“I do not think that… knew him least.” Good point! Training under a person gives you a different perspective on the person, but makes it no less valid.

“He had a quiet heroism…” Yup, he didn’t need to be dashing, cause he was always pulling Kirk’s bacon out of the fire and really saving the day, lol.

“I know logically I was not…” People forget that Chekov was tortured and had his actions dictated to him by the looney bin, Khan, so this is a great point. If he didn’t feel some guilty – misplaced as it might be – you’d wonder what was wrong with him.

This was a really nice tribute both to Spock, but also to the two men who knew him first and last. Great job!
7/5/2015 c1 47Cheile
Hiya! Here from the RLT to drop you a review. It's been awhile since I've seen the movies, so this will no doubt bring back some memories!

I love how you have captured both Scotty and Chekov's individual voices, so much that I can hear each of them in my head as if they were reciting their sections onstage in monologue fashion. I also really like the uniqueness of each man's section. Scotty knew Spock well but regrets that he and Spock were not as close of friends as he would have liked. And I sense that there's also some underlying resentment over Kirk's close friendship with Spock—he seems to appreciate the fact that Kirk got Spock to open up somewhat and become "less of a mystery" to the ones who he interacted with on a regular basis, and yet there's that hint of umbrage tainting his mourning with "but he never let me in" when he "let" Kirk in. it is cold comfort for Scotty to say "I knew him first"—but it's what he has in his moment of sorrow.

On the other hand, we have Chekov's thoughts about being the "last" to know Spock and is reflecting on Spock's resurrection. It is not "last" in a true sense since Spock mentored Chekov and you throw in a neat twist by having Chekov reflect on the fact that, while Kirk is seen and known as the dashing hero, Spock is his own kind of hero by following the "needs of the many" ideology and therefore saving the crew that he serves with. Chekov's underlying guilt is an "aww" touch—it is easy for an outsider to know that Spock will forgive him, or even to say that it is illogical to guilt trip one's self for something outside one's control, but it is very appropriate to Chekov to feel guilty for inadvertently causing harm to his own mentor. I like that it ends on a hopeful note on wanting to get to know Spock again as Spock regains his memory and that he feels that it will help him learn to forgive himself.

Very nicely done!
6/18/2015 c1 68Legendary Biologist
Hi! Fandom blind, but I'll do my best to review.

The first person voice is very well done here. The first and the second scene are spoken by different characters because they have distinct voices. For example, Scotty's segment has Scottish accent (a playful one; the mention of haggis gives me a chuckle), while Chekov's segment doesn't seem to have any accents.

Kirk and Spock are characterized nicely too. Kirk comes across as a charismatic and attractive person. As stated by Scotty, Kirk can make you want to trust him, while Chekov says that Kirk is heroic and good with ladies. On the other hand, Spock is harder too understand. He is stoic. As stated by Chekov, Spock has quiet heroism.

The irony of 'I knew him first, I knew him last' is sad. Scotty knew Spock first, but he didn't know Spock very much. Even when Spock died, Scotty didn't know him very well. On the other hand, Chekov knew Spock last, but he knew Spock better. Unfortunately, Spock had just come back from the dead, and his memories were wiped out. Also, the narrators' different views add to the sadness. Especially poor Scotty, who is pessimistic. He didn't manage to know Spock better despite knowing him first, and probably wouldn't have the chance. Not only because Spock is dead, but it's also because Scotty believes that Spock will probably never open up to him. On the other hand, Chekov is optimistic. He knows Spock last, but he believes that he can get to know Spock better. Spock has just come back from the dead, and for Chekov, it doesn't matter if Spock is amnesiac. Chekov believes that Spock will open up to him, unlike Scotty's belief.

Well done!
5/21/2015 c1 64MissScorp
Hi there! I am a moderator at the Reviews Lounge, Too where your story has been recommended for inclusion into our Archives. I’m going to be reviewing your story today because it is definitely under reviewed and in need of some love. I'm thankfully not fandom blind for a change, but I admit it's been a while since I watched a lot of the original Star Trek stuff and my recollection might be a bit shoddy in areas. That said, on with the review!

Okay, the first and immediate thing I noticed is how here: ((I knew him first.)) and here: ((I knew him last.)) you created an extremely interesting paradox between Scotty and Chekov. Scotty knew him before even Kirk did, they were teammates together and came up through the ranks, but they were not as close as they became until after Kirk came along and showed Spock how to lighten up a bit. I don't know if you watch the show, but the relationship between Spock and Kirk really reminds me of that of Castiel and Dean from Supernatural. Kirk teaches Spock about friendship and interpersonal types of relationships, which allow him to build friendships with people like Chekov, Doc McCoy and the rest of the crew. A friendship that Chekov highlights when he says how he knew him ((last)).

I really like how here: ((Vulcans didnae appear to be immune to it...)) and here: ((...the rest of my fellow Wulcan exiled outlaws were already there...)) that you use tonal inflictions to illustrate the patterns of speech that Scotty and Chekov have. It really lends to making this feel like a piece that is being spoken in some fashion (it could be a verbal journal, a recounting to someone else, etc.) just as much as it is a non-dialogue accounting of their relationships with Spock. It also clearly labels which person is speaking at one time and allows us to see their POV more clearly.

Again I like how here: ((I wish I had known him better. Because he's moments away from dying and the universe will be a darker place for it.)) and here: ((Now that Mr. Spock is alive, there is some hope. I knew him last, but I knew him better than most.)) that you again create that paradox about the different relationships they have with Spock. Scotty is ruminating how he wished he'd gotten to know Spock better because now he's dying and there's no time to make it up whereas Chekov sees that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that those people who didn't have a chance beforehand to know Spock as he does, can now do so.

In all, this was a great portrayal of friendship. Good job!
4/9/2015 c1 6GrossGirl18
An interesting reflection, and an interesting topic. I enjoyed it.
2/10/2015 c1 9Surburia
Hi! Saw your story in the RLT archive and wanted to leave you a review! I’m familiar with both movies and I thought it a great idea to show the events from Scotty and Chekov’s perspectives.

I think you’ve captured Scotty’s voice in the first paragraph. I love the comparison you have him make between himself and Spock. And it was nice to get some insight into how they initially met.
“Though I was a wee bit more willing to take shore leave.” Haha love this. You characterize both Scotty and Spock and do in a way that doesn’t depend on just regurgitating info. I like how you’ve woven all of this into Scotty’s recollection.

And I like how you describe that magnetic attraction Scotty felt to Kirk, because that’s the vibe I got whenever watching the show. They all respect him; they’re all drawn to him in some way. And the fact that even Spock, who Scotty found difficult to get to know, became fast friends with the captain is indicative of this element of Kirk’s personality.

You end Scotty’s section with the regret that he was never able to get closer to Spock. I wonder if he doesn’t envy the closeness he sees between Kirk and Spock and wishes that he had that kind of friendship.

Your choice of words and syntax makes it clear even without using any form of identification of who is talking. I like Chekov’s narrative and how once again there’s that magnetic hero worship aspect to Kirk, but then also his admiration of Spock.

I applaud your choice of Scotty and Chekov as view point characters. Because not only are we given some insight into how the event affected them, but we also learn about their personalities in how they react. All Scotty can focus on is how he knew him first, but was unable to really know him. That he could never make the same connection that Kirk was able to. His recollection is full of regret, maybe even a smidge of envy. But Chekov’s is colored by optimism. And you can see that in the final paragraph. “And I hope to know him again, and that he will know me.” You’ve done a wonderful job capturing the personalities of both Scotty and Chekov.
11/7/2014 c1 48PSW
This was an interesting piece, especially the first bit from Scotty's POV. Don't often remember that he and Spock have known each other the longest ... and it's an interesting (very human) thought that Scotty might have been a little crabby because Spock got to know Kirk faster even though the two of them had more in common. :-) Thanks for writing!
6/16/2014 c1 8MuggleCreator
Great stuff.
1/31/2014 c1 Guest
Very good.
1/20/2014 c1 6SpiritedYoungLady
First, I really enjoyed this. Your writing is smooth, clear, and top-notch.

As a few others have mentioned, it may not be best to spell out accent tics. The characterization is clear enough through vocabulary and content.

A few times the tendency to start sentences with a short introductory phrase or word was distracting. ("Apparently," "inside of a year," etc).

Those are little notes, however. Great one-shot. :)
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