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for Mia and Andrew Jacoby Story Cont

6/8/2021 c1 Fuller picture
Short and did not make sense
12/12/2016 c1 kyrah garter
wow, thats really lame.
5/12/2016 c1 7twlightbella
10/27/2014 c1 NinjaMeap
Try not to narrate stories like your a sports announcer, use your own voice, adding details and skipping over the unimportant things be sure to branch out in sentence varity instead of using all simple sentences. Also, cut down on starting your sentences with the word "So". This story, while using the above tips, could become great! You already have an intricate plot set out, just edit it!
Best Wishes,
(I have an account)
7/26/2014 c1 Holu
Very cute fic

Some grammar errors but great job

God bless
8/18/2013 c1 10softgentle
i dont think youve really written a story here. its more of a plan. i think you should think more about writing an actual story with proper chapters. this is a great storyline but it would be better if you wrote it properly...good job in any case :)

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