for Ratchet and clank:SG15/20/2014 c1 
41Sunny Lighter
Sorry it took so long.
This is off to a good start. I like the direction the story is going and you have the characters in character.
The only things wrong I can see, are the lack of capital letters in their names and a few typos. But other than that this is a real improvement.
41Sunny LighterSorry it took so long.
This is off to a good start. I like the direction the story is going and you have the characters in character.
The only things wrong I can see, are the lack of capital letters in their names and a few typos. But other than that this is a real improvement.
9/23/2013 c1 8Thozmp Corris
Need to work on the formatting. Wall of Text with no paragraph breaks or spacing will turn a lot of people away.
Besides that, I think I need to see more before I can give a good opinion, but it is nice to see acknowledgment of Angela's existance.
8Thozmp CorrisNeed to work on the formatting. Wall of Text with no paragraph breaks or spacing will turn a lot of people away.
Besides that, I think I need to see more before I can give a good opinion, but it is nice to see acknowledgment of Angela's existance.