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for Forging of Alliances

7/26/2015 c1 2Chimera1123
You ever going to continue this?
12/19/2014 c1 1majorshane
Meh, It's not bad but not great. Half the fun of crossovers is seeing our favourite characters from two shows interact with characters or settings in other fictional worlds. You chose to create a new cast for the Star Trek side. That's not the end of the world, but you also spent no time developing the characters beyond very stereotypical roles. On top of that, you made a whole fleet of starships the setting. Star Trek is at it's best with one star ship's command crew pulling together to solve a problem or over come a challenge. A fleet of 10 ships? 10 captains, 10 crews, 10 point of views?! That's going to be very difficult to write with any level of suspense. Star fleet vessels are so far ahead of Colonial and Cylons tech that just one ship is like Superman visiting the world of Pocahontas. No kryptonite and no one in the WORLD can even scratch him. The only conflict that can come from your story would be from your federation starship being in the wrong place to save the day (unlikely with a whole fleet) or from the drama and friction of two very different cultures and dynamic casts meeting (and you have your work cut out to both flesh out your cast of senior officers so that we care about them as characters AND have these characters interact with the Colonials). On the colonial side if you have star fleet save the colonials from near extinction then there will be very little reason for your ships to have more than a fleeting glimpse of the battle star galactica cast we all know and love. You will have to flesh out President Adar and Admiral Nagala's characters as well. So no real conflict in a tactical sense (star fleet boot; Cylons ant), none of our established canon characters, and nearly no three dimensional characters on either side of the line yet developed. I'm curious to see where this goes!

Also: a worm hole right next to sol? Really? It's Star Trek. More so than almost every other fictional space agency out there star fleet is all about sending their ships to explore the final frontier. How easy would it be for your fleet to be on a mission of long range exploration and find the worm hole? Or just skip a step and find the earth clone world out right. Perhaps you're going to have some reason why this worm hole appeared (something aboard the ship that got sucked through? Something to with the Cylons pending attack? Something to do with the Lords of Kobol? Some other plot device?). Unless it serves a purpose and/or is explained in later chapters the worm hole feels like lazy writing. If, for the plot, you need to have a worm hole connecting the space near the 2 earths then cool.

How could the Tripoli get such detailed readings of a planet that is presumably dozens of light years away (a weeks travel at high warp) in JUST A FEW MINUTES?

Sovereign and Galaxy class starships are for long range exploration missions. Ambassador the same but fairly older. Akira I'm not sure. Why are they even patrolling within the federations core? That's like loading up the grey Hound motor home to drive around the city and run errands. These ships are DESIGNED to go long distances without fuel and operate independently. I think Defiant, Norway, and Sabre class would be far more likely to be used in short ranged patrols around core systems.

One thing I really like is your writing is smooth and easy to follow. Your plot, aside from what I already mentioned, is interesting and engaging. I can't wait to see how the colonials and federation 'forge' their alliance!

Thanks, those are my thoughts. Please continue!
9/16/2014 c1 Guest
Amazing...need more...
1/28/2014 c1 9Chris Adair
Yay. Good story so far.
12/3/2013 c1 2Reven207
Hate to nitpick, but in Star Trek they refer to the home solar system is the Terran system.
10/24/2013 c1 EffervescentNova
A good start. You might want to flesh out the dialogue a little bit. I'll be following.
10/9/2013 c1 justjoe
A great concept and interesting start. I hope that you continue with this.
10/7/2013 c1 Jerry Unipeg
GREAT IDEA! (*x4) Looking forwad to the changes to the Colonies and the Cylons race.
9/8/2013 c1 ljbrown1
Well where's the rest of the story, I'm looking forward to your telling of a story.
8/15/2013 c1 Guest
:) awesome start!
8/16/2013 c1 thunder18
Great chapter Update soon
8/15/2013 c1 Allen Pitt
Week's travel from nearest star? So... their jump drive is superior? 11 other worlds after all... Arriving just before Cylon attack could be interesting. Feds have superior tech in a lot of ways-shields, transporters, replicators. On the other hand, maybe the Cylons can manage to infiltrate and take over their computers... Too bad Data isn't along, the BSG people would be repulsed Cylons fascinated by him.

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