9/29/2013 c5 2ans90jas10
How spock meet Jenna in the library? :3

9/29/2013 c5 Gensuru
You did quite well :P

I really don't see a need to cut the chapter off here (8k words? I've seen chapters with 10k) but that's really up to you, I suppose.

"sit with us humbling peasants"? Don't you mean sit with us humble peasants? Humbling peasants would imply that they are making someone else humble, wouldn't it?

It is also a bit odd that the Starfleet doctor would not simply check with the Dusleys. All he has is the word of a teenaged girl on medical drugs. A teenaged girl that might as well be a runaway for all they know. And it's not like contacting the Dusleys would be all that difficult with Star Trek level communications technology, right? oô

Likewise, I am a bit worried about the blood-test thingy showing her as Lily Potter's child, still. It may allow for a few scenes of them getting to know each other without knowing that they are related but isn't it going to make that eventual revelation all the more implausible? Sure, she may just end up breaking the statute of secrecy but she'd have to do so for everyone involved with the blood test/s or end up hacking into the system to remove or alter the first results. And what's more likely? That they will believe in magic or that they will believe that she is some kind of infiltrator and/or alien trying to get close to a Starfleet officer/kadett?

And really, if her looks already changed drastically, why didn't her blood? Why isn't it even in flux given that her body's changes seem incomplete (despite how big they've been so far oO)? With her blood-test returning as inconclusive due to odd metamorphological activity (or some such tech-babbling) they'd still not know she's related to Kirk, they wouldn't be able to pull up her current file and know about the Dursleys and they'd have an even greater reason to keep her nearby (so they can monitor the changes and hopefully figure out who she is eventually). And once the story gets out she can still claim that she was kidnapped at birth or something and that someone used some unknown technology to mask her genetically and that she only recently found out about this and escaped. That'd also help explaining the attack on her (that Starfleet may want to look into). She can still try to convice her brother of magic in private. But unless you want to blow the statute of secrecy wide open in your story you will need some explanation for any weird crap related to Jenna.

Also...I'm not quite certain with the goblin colour coded stuff but is mommy Kirk alive or is she dead? I am curious about the purpose of the second Kirk-brother. Best as I can tell that one is an OC, isn't he? I detest OCs but maybe you can pull it off. We'll see, I guess

Hope this helps and I'm looking foward to the next chapters

9/28/2013 c5 18Snow-Nightshade
epicness to the point of awesome! thanks for the new chapter and i can't wait to see how Bones reacts to Jenna's blood test to see she's related to Jim... hehehe

9/28/2013 c5 1Salena Knight
Well done! Can't wait for Jim and Bones to find out Jenna is Jim's half sister! *lol*

9/28/2013 c5 Vicki219
Very interesting story so far. Hope Jenna and Jim find out they are siblings quickly. Please update some more soon.

9/28/2013 c5 Sadie
Grrs... Your evil! I'm just on edge waiting to see when she finds out that Jim is her Brother or vice versa. And how will she find out, wonder if they all go out together and some point Jim gets into a fight with someone who calls him Kirk? Any who, I am eagerly awaiting your next chapter, so please... Sooner than later, yes?!

9/28/2013 c5 1ptl4ever419
Love it. Can't wait for them to figure out their relationships.

9/28/2013 c5 22edboy4926
Good chapter