for The Totally Amazing Spider-Man9/12 c8 Locust
When will there be an update for this and is it Spider man characters from the games on here?
When will there be an update for this and is it Spider man characters from the games on here?
7/24/2022 c5 
1wolfwind42
Why didn't he just lift the two thugs with his webs to begin with instead of the woman? It would have been more efficient, since he would have caught the thugs and gotten her out of danger with one action. Two birds with one stone. Also, since he lifted her up with his webs to get her to safety, she now has a spider web attached to her coat that won't dissolve for another two hours.
1wolfwind42Why didn't he just lift the two thugs with his webs to begin with instead of the woman? It would have been more efficient, since he would have caught the thugs and gotten her out of danger with one action. Two birds with one stone. Also, since he lifted her up with his webs to get her to safety, she now has a spider web attached to her coat that won't dissolve for another two hours.
7/24/2022 c4 wolfwind42
There are quite a few problems with this fight scene.
1. "Really? This coming from a group of guys who can't even properly play merchandise stockers." This is a pretty bad comeback. It's not very funny or witty, and is pretty weak overall. But that's entirely subjective so it's not a major issue.
2. "The bandits replied by opening fire on him. He was already out of their firing range though." What kind of shitty guns are they using that Spider-Man can get out of their firing range that quickly? Furthermore, why did Spider-Man even try to get out of their firing range? Couldn't he have just dodged and webbed their guns up?
3. "The last bandit panicked as he let go and jumped off the truck, landing hard on his back." How did that even happen? Did he trip while getting out of the truck, turn 180 degrees while failing, then land on his back? In what scenario would this happen?
4. "He didn't get very far before an unknown force struck him from behind that resulted in him being stuck front first against a brick wall." How did that happen? For this to happen, he had to be facing a brick wall. Was the thug running toward the brick wall? If so, why? And if he was, would he have just slammed into the wall anyway if not for Spider-Man's webs?
5. "All their mouths had been sealed shut by the same material as well." When did he do that? As I recall, the last thug asked Spider-Man who he was, he answered, then walked away without sealing his mouth shut. And I don't recall him sealing the other thugs' mouths shut either. Why would he even do that? That seems like such a villain move. Did he not want the thugs to cry out and alert any civilians or police? Why? And it seems kind of risky since it might have accidentally blocked the nose as well and prevented them from breathing.
6. "Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man." When did he have time to write a note? Again, he answered the last thug's question, then walked away. When did he leave a note? This isn't as big of a deal as the rest since this could have happened off screen, but it would have been better to have been included.
7. "...He said and he walked off." He's Spider-Man. Why is he walking off? Wouldn't swinging away be faster and look cooler?
Some of these are smaller issues while others are bigger issues. But they all add up into making this action scene seem unrealistic and not very believable, which lowers the quality of the chapter.
There are quite a few problems with this fight scene.
1. "Really? This coming from a group of guys who can't even properly play merchandise stockers." This is a pretty bad comeback. It's not very funny or witty, and is pretty weak overall. But that's entirely subjective so it's not a major issue.
2. "The bandits replied by opening fire on him. He was already out of their firing range though." What kind of shitty guns are they using that Spider-Man can get out of their firing range that quickly? Furthermore, why did Spider-Man even try to get out of their firing range? Couldn't he have just dodged and webbed their guns up?
3. "The last bandit panicked as he let go and jumped off the truck, landing hard on his back." How did that even happen? Did he trip while getting out of the truck, turn 180 degrees while failing, then land on his back? In what scenario would this happen?
4. "He didn't get very far before an unknown force struck him from behind that resulted in him being stuck front first against a brick wall." How did that happen? For this to happen, he had to be facing a brick wall. Was the thug running toward the brick wall? If so, why? And if he was, would he have just slammed into the wall anyway if not for Spider-Man's webs?
5. "All their mouths had been sealed shut by the same material as well." When did he do that? As I recall, the last thug asked Spider-Man who he was, he answered, then walked away without sealing his mouth shut. And I don't recall him sealing the other thugs' mouths shut either. Why would he even do that? That seems like such a villain move. Did he not want the thugs to cry out and alert any civilians or police? Why? And it seems kind of risky since it might have accidentally blocked the nose as well and prevented them from breathing.
6. "Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man." When did he have time to write a note? Again, he answered the last thug's question, then walked away. When did he leave a note? This isn't as big of a deal as the rest since this could have happened off screen, but it would have been better to have been included.
7. "...He said and he walked off." He's Spider-Man. Why is he walking off? Wouldn't swinging away be faster and look cooler?
Some of these are smaller issues while others are bigger issues. But they all add up into making this action scene seem unrealistic and not very believable, which lowers the quality of the chapter.
7/24/2022 c3 wolfwind42
How did they find Peter's house? Did Peter never question how weird and creepy that is? Also, he just met these girls a couple hours ago in class and have talked for maybe 10 minutes at most. I probably wouldn't really be comfortable letting them into my house and having them help me unpack. It just would feel weird for these three strangers to be going through my things. But that's just me. Also, Aunt May doesn't know these people. It feels unnatural for her to just spill everything about Ben's death and break down and cry in front of these strangers. There has to be a level of trust to open up that much, and that isn't there yet.
The relationships are moving way too fast for it to feel natural. After a few minutes of talking, they're acting like they've been best friends with each other for years. You have to build these things up over time. Friendships don't occur overnight.
How did they find Peter's house? Did Peter never question how weird and creepy that is? Also, he just met these girls a couple hours ago in class and have talked for maybe 10 minutes at most. I probably wouldn't really be comfortable letting them into my house and having them help me unpack. It just would feel weird for these three strangers to be going through my things. But that's just me. Also, Aunt May doesn't know these people. It feels unnatural for her to just spill everything about Ben's death and break down and cry in front of these strangers. There has to be a level of trust to open up that much, and that isn't there yet.
The relationships are moving way too fast for it to feel natural. After a few minutes of talking, they're acting like they've been best friends with each other for years. You have to build these things up over time. Friendships don't occur overnight.
2/16/2022 c8 Spideyfan2007
Hey man I love your fanfics but we're not seeing a whole lot of Peter/Clover moments can you please fix that?️
Hey man I love your fanfics but we're not seeing a whole lot of Peter/Clover moments can you please fix that?️
12/4/2021 c2 wolfwind42
Just one thing. People that had that happen to them dont just talk about it to completely strangers. It takes a while for them to open up, no matter how friendly the people are.
Just one thing. People that had that happen to them dont just talk about it to completely strangers. It takes a while for them to open up, no matter how friendly the people are.
3/7/2021 c2 Me
What if he doesn't want to be friendsw ith you? Thats fine...
What if he doesn't want to be friendsw ith you? Thats fine...
11/2/2020 c8 Zero
Please continue.
Please continue.
11/2/2020 c7 Zero
Dam.
I forget sam isnt a stupid redhead.
Dam.
I forget sam isnt a stupid redhead.
11/2/2020 c6 Zero
Oh no...
Oh no...
11/2/2020 c5 Zero
Here we go...
Here we go...
11/2/2020 c4 Zero
Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can...
Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can...