for Fight for Life4/26/2022 c19 Rose Rene
Aaaaaahhhhh! Please finish the story! Your work is awesome and and and please just finish the story!
Aaaaaahhhhh! Please finish the story! Your work is awesome and and and please just finish the story!
10/23/2015 c11 mslcat
OK, when I first read the chapter's title "off my chest!"
I was thinking something totally different.
:D
OK, when I first read the chapter's title "off my chest!"
I was thinking something totally different.
:D
10/23/2015 c10 mslcat
dang you and your cliffhangers!
dang you and your cliffhangers!
10/23/2015 c5 mslcat
I have only one criticism for you so far.
A new paragraph every time the speaker changes.
reading some paragraphs when Jareth and Sara are speaking,
its difficult to tell who's talking without reading the sentence more than once.
that is all. thanks.
I have only one criticism for you so far.
A new paragraph every time the speaker changes.
reading some paragraphs when Jareth and Sara are speaking,
its difficult to tell who's talking without reading the sentence more than once.
that is all. thanks.
10/20/2015 c3 mslcat
A very Interesting Judgement.
But a very fair one at least. Redemption is not out of reach.
I like this story and will keep reading.
A very Interesting Judgement.
But a very fair one at least. Redemption is not out of reach.
I like this story and will keep reading.
10/19/2015 c2 
8mslcat
Well that was INTENSE!
hahahaha.
I can't wait to see how this plays out.
I will say that you do have a good mix of description and action.
A little more description may be in order though.
As Sam always tells me, use all of your senses.
Sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.
Did Sarah feel cold as the darkness took her? Could she taste the "feel" of the darkness as it consumed her?
Did her father feel the pain of what he had done and what she was doing to him? Did his skin crawl as the electricity of the power flowed through him? Did Sarah feel Jareth's love seep into her, body, bones, and soul as he sang to her? Stuff like that.
But other wise very well written. I couldn't wait to read what happened next, and then after that, and then wanted more. When I find the time, I WILL read the rest of this. :D
8mslcatWell that was INTENSE!
hahahaha.
I can't wait to see how this plays out.
I will say that you do have a good mix of description and action.
A little more description may be in order though.
As Sam always tells me, use all of your senses.
Sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.
Did Sarah feel cold as the darkness took her? Could she taste the "feel" of the darkness as it consumed her?
Did her father feel the pain of what he had done and what she was doing to him? Did his skin crawl as the electricity of the power flowed through him? Did Sarah feel Jareth's love seep into her, body, bones, and soul as he sang to her? Stuff like that.
But other wise very well written. I couldn't wait to read what happened next, and then after that, and then wanted more. When I find the time, I WILL read the rest of this. :D
2/15/2015 c5 1DreamBubbles
Well I have read a few chapters now and I like the story so far. I think it's so nice idea to have Sarahs father as fae and to think Toby being able to be born again (don't know why, but it sort of scares me). It was kind of mean to just kill Karen off, but hey, according to story she had it coming.. Love Jareths mother and I'm interested to find more of hes family. Also about the two who want domething bad to them. Hope to get change to read more tomorrow. :)
1DreamBubblesWell I have read a few chapters now and I like the story so far. I think it's so nice idea to have Sarahs father as fae and to think Toby being able to be born again (don't know why, but it sort of scares me). It was kind of mean to just kill Karen off, but hey, according to story she had it coming.. Love Jareths mother and I'm interested to find more of hes family. Also about the two who want domething bad to them. Hope to get change to read more tomorrow. :)
2/15/2015 c1 DreamBubbles
My gosh :) I just started reading and this is starting so well.. I think I'm going to love this story so much :)
My gosh :) I just started reading and this is starting so well.. I think I'm going to love this story so much :)
12/10/2014 c14 Christmaspirit
Caper can stop reviewing if all she or he can do is complain. Don't listen to a word! This is a wild and fantastic story and I am loving every word! I can't wait to see how Sarah and Maya save the Underground! Keep writting more! I am rooting for you! Take us home!
Caper can stop reviewing if all she or he can do is complain. Don't listen to a word! This is a wild and fantastic story and I am loving every word! I can't wait to see how Sarah and Maya save the Underground! Keep writting more! I am rooting for you! Take us home!
12/10/2014 c6 Christmaspirit
Poor Raidon! That had to be hard!
Poor Raidon! That had to be hard!
12/10/2014 c5 Christmaspirit
YAY! The bitch is dead!
YAY! The bitch is dead!