Just In
for Perhaps

8/29/2013 c2 1k+reminiscent-afterthought
"long passed afternoon" makes the "what if" scenario seem impossible. :) An interesting way to write it, but rather morbid. Not that I mind morbid.

[but come on! I] - nice emphasis there. Perfect timing too.

[death bringing curse] - I would add "of a notebook" to the end of that, since you don't really mention the Death Note anywhere otherwise. It's not necessary, but it would probably make the absence stronger.

[ in person-] - should be a dash instead of a hyphen. ffn's funny about that if word doesn't autocorrect, but it should still have a space on either side.

Ooh, Matsuda again. :) He's one of my favourite characters...and yet I've never written for him.

Interesting comment about how L ignored Matt as well; because no potential as an hair I imagine.

It's sad, how you bring out the lack of emotional contact L has with people, and the last line was particularly interesting...and sad. That L was never supposed to get attached, feel emotion, show weakness...

Haha, I don't think you need a comment for your muses to distract you from your homework. :) Challenges do that as well, don't they?
8/27/2013 c1 reminiscent-afterthought
That was beautiful. Your writing captured me from that first (though rather long) sentence, and kept my attention right to the very end. I like how you imply that the Death Note may have been the reason why Light could never love Misa, and how certain things in their lives were fated to happen with or without the Death Note's influence. I also like how you brought up the theme of boredom so subtly; it's almost in the background of this fic, but it's /constantly/ there so that makes it quite powerful. I also like how you brought up the case with Youtsuba Kira, where Raito and L worked so closely together. My only critique to you would be perhaps investing in semicolons and colons a little more. Some of your sentences get a little long when commas are the only things in it. Particularly the first sentence, where you could put a colon after [central role in a war that was so much bigger than himself] since what follows is, in a way, defining that war. But that's a little nit-pricky; this really was a gorgeous fic, and it's definitely going to my favourites. :) Well done.

Oh, and I would definitely be interested in L's side.

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