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for Hibiki's journey through New Game Plus

6/3/2020 c1 17ArtistGamerMage
well that's Hibiki's mistake involving Dera-Deka. Masakado is Tokyo's guardian spirit.
6/12/2016 c3 8max3213
Could you revive this...please? You can't see me, but i am on my knees, begging.
8/28/2015 c3 Metatron
man...i would really appreciate if you continue this fanfic

btw
it's epicness is consuming my life and I can't sleep
8/31/2014 c1 Yoshi3019
Confusing as hell. And why do you expect positive feedback when you yourself leave flames, hypocrite.
6/6/2014 c3 4J.S.H.N.Girl
I hope you would get your act together soon, no pressure!
And that you would update this story, can't wait to see what happens next!
1/28/2014 c3 11AkaiArsony
Writer's Block is surely a b*tch, we all experience that. Just think of it some kind of disease we authors of fanfiction catch when we've written out too much and need some time to add some inspiration, like when we do too much even when fatigued and end up getting a cold and fever.

I very much hope that the chaos that you experience clears up soon, and just the same for any sort of bad situation you may be experiencing right now. Hopefully, you'll be back on track soon to grace us with your genius. :D

Peace out.
Arsony
1/13/2014 c3 4blackout2010
Okay then. I will wait with bated breath. I hope you can get things normalized again.

Sincerely
Blackout2010
12/29/2013 c1 3Crow667
FREAKING AWESOME! i too am doing a "life is a videogame" type of fic (eventually im gonna make a lot of fics like that all related like rebukes fics and will eventually get to the devil survivor section) (first ill need to buy a 3ds but whatever) Keep up the good work!
11/16/2013 c2 silverflame63
Good story so far by the way Hibiki and Airi together isn't shotacon its lolicon
And hopeful there will be more of it. as hibiki's realization of polygamy is explored.
11/7/2013 c2 Guest
Dude shotacon is a thing for little boys.
10/27/2013 c2 27Azure King and Azure Queen
please contiune! i hope Fumi shows some human emotions or at least for Hibiki!
10/21/2013 c2 11AkaiArsony
Been reading for a while, but kinda embarrassed that I only managed a review now. 3

Neways, I love the whole concept of this story. With all the BL I've seen here with the DeSu series, it's hard to find something to properly swallow and digest as a story. I love the concept of your work, and hopefully this becomes a wonderfully made, cohesive, and entertaining story. Oh, and I support harems :D (Yes, that's my "I watch a lot of harem anime" side talking).

The explanation on how the harmonizer works was beautiful. I've been trying to get around its system since when I played the first game, but your explanation puts it into place. If ATLUS continues with a third game (hopefully they will), I just hope they DO give some sorta explanation. But yours works well, anyways. Haha.

Also, your story actually was what inspired me to push mine and publish it. I really appreciate your review back there, and if you'd be needing anything I'm just a PM away. If there's also anything I can do to help, I'll be much willing to lend a hand.

Peace out
Arsony
10/14/2013 c2 5Loopsey
Nice to see that it's being continued. Is this considered a parody with all of the fourth-wall breaking?

Well-thought out theories involving the Harmonizer, though.
10/14/2013 c2 10ultima-owner
good chapter lengths
10/14/2013 c2 4blackout2010
Okay. Lot going on, so I'll try to take this piece by piece. Firstly, I do applaude you for creating a DS story that tries to give some pretty cool design differences in how the story will go, also a massive undertaking, what with...5 different weeks? I also wish you well in the pairing, Hibiki x all girls FTW!

I also am interested to see what you do with the original devil survivor protagonist and his team. It will be an interesting premise to be sure, especially when they inevtiable link up.

Now to get a bit more serious on things. Umm, I'm not particuarly enamoured by first person narratives, so if you could change it to strictly third person that's be appreciated, but that's just more of a personal thing, since 'I' typically force me to think their addressing me and not the protagonist. Just again little thing.

In the middle of the story you (or rather Hibiki) do these kind of weird mid-thing rants like: (just a second)
I wonder if this how that Richard Castle guy feels whenever Beckett is mad at him. Quit laughing for no reason author. and the whole Hogyoku ex machina thing.

It's not really funny and...kinda distracting. I get that Hibiki is supposed to be breaking the fourth wall, but that only works if it's funny...which at least I don't find it funny. Might be the minority here. Anyway for the huge...umm...what's the word, shout exposition? Maybe perhaps you should leave it at the end of the chapter where we'll likely read it without interuppting the flow of the story. Just a suggestion.

For the harmonizer barrier thing, I think you should just simplify it for people. Just say that it's powered by a person's will power. An example: Yamato is an incredibly unyielding man, and guess what he's one of the most powerful characters (relatively speaking) until everyone else catches up. Where as Hibiki, Daichi and Io, were scared out of there minds when they first encountered demons, thusly they were much easier to kill in comparison. It also explain why certain character have low life guages. The mage types (Fumi, Io, Airi and Joe) suffer from law of will power (Fu: Lack of empathy, Io: Lack of assertion, Ai: Inferiority complex, Joe: Irresponsibility) where as the brawler (Keita, Jungo, Ronaldo) have will power to spare (Kei: Will to get stronger. Jun: Will to help others, Ron: Belief in justice.)

It also translates over rather welll, in terms of survival in battle.

It doesn't matter how much self-confidence you have if your getting hit by every demon team on the map, your quickly going to start doubting if your going to get out of the situation alive. See what i'm sayings, where as if a person were to use Diarahan to 'heal' themselves, they'd have their confidence back, because they know they just need to play it smart now (also explains why when the leader's minions are defeated the leader takes more damage and vice-versa).

The whole barrier leveling up stats (Str. Vit. Mag. Ect.) keep that it's pretty easy to understand. You could just say that it each one takes the aspects of a person's personality, and creates an environment suited to them.

That's about all the serious criticecing. That story has a lot of promise and you seem to have the basics of writing down, you just kinda need to focus up a bit. Remember like the original devil survivors, the humor has to be situationally appropriate and, maintain a sense of reality. If Hibiki is talking to the audience or something, have another character ask who's he talking to. Be playful about it, but also know when you need to be serious. The first chapter had a tremendous amount of drama which brought me in. I really wanted to see how this went, and I do want to see you succeed, but I think you might want to consider looking over the final product again try to focus on your goals.

I wish you well,
Sincerely
Blackout2010
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