for Dancing in Shadow8/22/2015 c9 Blaine H
Very good I like the story. Please continue.
Very good I like the story. Please continue.
6/24/2014 c1 
4Kar-Vermin
Good. Damn, damn good.
Your grammar and sentence structure are excellent. You supply excellent and vivid detail without overdoing it. As for the story itself, it's very intriguing, and I give you highest marks for not rushing things. You're letting them unfold at their own pace. All the characters seem three-dimensional and believable.
I look forward to reading more
Kar
4Kar-VerminGood. Damn, damn good.
Your grammar and sentence structure are excellent. You supply excellent and vivid detail without overdoing it. As for the story itself, it's very intriguing, and I give you highest marks for not rushing things. You're letting them unfold at their own pace. All the characters seem three-dimensional and believable.
I look forward to reading more
Kar
5/28/2014 c6 10Leoni Liponscovi
I like reading this story. It is well written, creative, and enrapturing
10Leoni LiponscoviI like reading this story. It is well written, creative, and enrapturing
1/17/2014 c3 29TailsLovesCosmo
Kallian thinking the drow didn't really exist fits with the first mention of them in the game. In the original Monster Manual Gary Gygax stated: "The "Black Elves," or drow, are only legend." This was of course to surprise people when they appeared in the classic GDQ1-7 modules but it makes sense many people would believe that about them until they found out, often too late, otherwise.
29TailsLovesCosmoKallian thinking the drow didn't really exist fits with the first mention of them in the game. In the original Monster Manual Gary Gygax stated: "The "Black Elves," or drow, are only legend." This was of course to surprise people when they appeared in the classic GDQ1-7 modules but it makes sense many people would believe that about them until they found out, often too late, otherwise.
12/21/2013 c3 6EagleJarl
Nice to see this come back, and I'm glad there are more chapters to be had. Congratulations on your work for NaNoWriMo - that sounds like it must have kept you pretty busy, but I bet it was fun too.
Couple of copy edits for you: our heroine "collected" her head on the cabinet. I think you meant "collided", but the better word would be "bumped.". (Strunk's first rule: never use a long word where a diminutive one will fit. ;) )
Second: "smallclothes" (underwear) is one word.
Have you picked a publication schedule yet? Publishing on a reliable day would be great. I chose Saturday evenings as my update time for The Two Year Emperor and it's worked out quite well. (Speaking of 2YE, drop by and let me know what you think about the new chapters!) When you release the EBook, will it be just a Kindle version or will you do an open format (e.g. HTML zipfile) for those of us who lack fancy reader things?
6EagleJarlNice to see this come back, and I'm glad there are more chapters to be had. Congratulations on your work for NaNoWriMo - that sounds like it must have kept you pretty busy, but I bet it was fun too.
Couple of copy edits for you: our heroine "collected" her head on the cabinet. I think you meant "collided", but the better word would be "bumped.". (Strunk's first rule: never use a long word where a diminutive one will fit. ;) )
Second: "smallclothes" (underwear) is one word.
Have you picked a publication schedule yet? Publishing on a reliable day would be great. I chose Saturday evenings as my update time for The Two Year Emperor and it's worked out quite well. (Speaking of 2YE, drop by and let me know what you think about the new chapters!) When you release the EBook, will it be just a Kindle version or will you do an open format (e.g. HTML zipfile) for those of us who lack fancy reader things?
12/18/2013 c3 Thedas'Hero
I was afraid that you had abandoned this story, but I'm sooo glad you haven't. This has to be my favorite story I've ever read on this site. Thank you for keeping it up!
I was afraid that you had abandoned this story, but I'm sooo glad you haven't. This has to be my favorite story I've ever read on this site. Thank you for keeping it up!
12/13/2013 c1 scooter
A well written story. Some grammatical errors, easily fixed, but a nice build of suspense and intrigue
A well written story. Some grammatical errors, easily fixed, but a nice build of suspense and intrigue
10/21/2013 c2 EagleJarl
Hi North Light,
I hope you haven't given up on this. I'm looking forward to finding out more about this secret elf organization and their goals, as well as seeing hoW our heroine's abilities get used in a real world setting. Please do update soon.
Hi North Light,
I hope you haven't given up on this. I'm looking forward to finding out more about this secret elf organization and their goals, as well as seeing hoW our heroine's abilities get used in a real world setting. Please do update soon.
9/30/2013 c2 Thedas'Hero
Wonderful! I love the amount of detail in the story and can't wait to read more!
Wonderful! I love the amount of detail in the story and can't wait to read more!
9/25/2013 c1 EagleJarl
(This is a review for both Ch1 and Ch2)
Ok, I really like this story. You handle the shadowdancer skills superbly, putting beautiful chrome chrome on top of the game mechanics. All of your characters have different (and consistent) voices, and I find myself really caring about what happens to Kallian (and, to a lesser extent, her father - her father seems to have much less trouble and opportunity in his future, so less to worry about). The only thing that didn't ring quite true was that she didn't ask what the Shin'Rakoraith actually DO, and what this evil is that they fight. But, put that one down to a young girl who is dazzled by an opportunity to get out of poverty and join the heroes of her mother's fairy stories.
I'm really looking forward to seeing more of this. :)
(This is a review for both Ch1 and Ch2)
Ok, I really like this story. You handle the shadowdancer skills superbly, putting beautiful chrome chrome on top of the game mechanics. All of your characters have different (and consistent) voices, and I find myself really caring about what happens to Kallian (and, to a lesser extent, her father - her father seems to have much less trouble and opportunity in his future, so less to worry about). The only thing that didn't ring quite true was that she didn't ask what the Shin'Rakoraith actually DO, and what this evil is that they fight. But, put that one down to a young girl who is dazzled by an opportunity to get out of poverty and join the heroes of her mother's fairy stories.
I'm really looking forward to seeing more of this. :)