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for Gilded

10/15/2013 c1 3Azmidiske87
I liked your one-shot. Although English is not my first language, I can see that you had attention for your writing style (some people quickly write something, and don’t care about grammar or a good writing style, but this text is well-written.) I especially liked the sentence ”She was going to make this gilded city truly shine someday” because it is a good symbol for what you try to tell here. And although this happens before the events in the books, I like that you ended with the start of the 74th Games.

I also like your view of the Capitol. In some fanfics (actually, quite many of them I think) the Capitol is described as a heavenly city full of superficial and sadistic people which only dye their skin and are watching the Games. But in my opinion, this is a bit simplistic. So I also liked your description: “The Capitol was a gilded city, full of bright colors and graceful buildings. It was all synthetic, fake, a dark network of tangled and twisted politics seething beneath the surface. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't even beautiful, it was ugly and broken”.
(In my own fanfiction - I only write in Dutch at the moment - the Capitol also has some ‘dark sides’ and problems, and although my main character is a Games fan during the first chapters, this will change when the story proceeds.)

I also liked the part with the flowers at the end: Felicia and her family are dead, but something of them is still there …

I hope you will receive more reviews than only these two ;-)
9/10/2013 c1 7Lorraine Romanoff

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