
2/4/2021 c15
10lovesmesomedanilalol
So sad that this story isn't finished. :( But I hope that you are doing well regardless.

So sad that this story isn't finished. :( But I hope that you are doing well regardless.
11/27/2017 c10
12castlencis
I really like this story. When are you going to update it cause I want to see what happens next. I have read the rest of the chapters, really interested in what happens.

I really like this story. When are you going to update it cause I want to see what happens next. I have read the rest of the chapters, really interested in what happens.
7/1/2014 c15
8Bellatrix-Lestrange527
I think you have a very good story going here. The plot is there, but I think you're rushing it a little. Take your time and enjoy the writing process. Let the story tell itself!
Just a helpful bit of information: Children typically don't start forming sentences until they are between the ages of 3-4. An easy way to think about it is that the word amount is equal (approximately) to their age. Kids don't even produce words until around a year (for some a little before, and some a little later). At age one, children will say only one word at a time: "Mama". At two, is sounds more like "Mama up." or "mama ball". At three, language starts to resemble short sentences. (I'm a speech & language pathologist)
Last bit: I felt it didn't fit the story at all to include the random children in the first chapter. They didn't serve a purpose and the story could have been more easily established without their inclusion, since they up and disappeared by the next chapter and were never mentioned again. Everything is just a little disconnected and doesn't flow very well. Again, I think you have a great thing going, your writing skills just need a little work. I've already noticed a great improvement from chapter 1 to chapter 15. You are full of fantastic ideas!

I think you have a very good story going here. The plot is there, but I think you're rushing it a little. Take your time and enjoy the writing process. Let the story tell itself!
Just a helpful bit of information: Children typically don't start forming sentences until they are between the ages of 3-4. An easy way to think about it is that the word amount is equal (approximately) to their age. Kids don't even produce words until around a year (for some a little before, and some a little later). At age one, children will say only one word at a time: "Mama". At two, is sounds more like "Mama up." or "mama ball". At three, language starts to resemble short sentences. (I'm a speech & language pathologist)
Last bit: I felt it didn't fit the story at all to include the random children in the first chapter. They didn't serve a purpose and the story could have been more easily established without their inclusion, since they up and disappeared by the next chapter and were never mentioned again. Everything is just a little disconnected and doesn't flow very well. Again, I think you have a great thing going, your writing skills just need a little work. I've already noticed a great improvement from chapter 1 to chapter 15. You are full of fantastic ideas!
3/15/2014 c4
9membridget
You should write more on this story. It's really good. I wanna know how George plays I to this later and if he was the one who took the pics and how Oliver reacts. Like I said, it's really good.

You should write more on this story. It's really good. I wanna know how George plays I to this later and if he was the one who took the pics and how Oliver reacts. Like I said, it's really good.
3/4/2014 c15 goldlion
Are you still continuing this good story?
Are you still continuing this good story?
12/31/2013 c15 nrdhrd3
Please continue I want to know what's going to happen with George! N I love your story!
Please continue I want to know what's going to happen with George! N I love your story!
12/30/2013 c15
5RougeReaper
Great chapter I love Thea in thus story she isn't a brat but she is still Thea looking forward to the next chapter please update soon

Great chapter I love Thea in thus story she isn't a brat but she is still Thea looking forward to the next chapter please update soon