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12/29/2021 c31 VryUnique
Awesome. Even though it seems like it stopped in the middle of the story.
10/5/2021 c7 20mysteryheart
your chapter transitions are pretty bad, you cut off scene's at terrible times and dont start scene where you should, its like your starting and ending in the middle of scenes, rather than the beginning
7/17/2021 c7 Gabi Amorim
I love this story, but I notice that there are parts missing. For example the rest of the bike accident scene (chapter 6)
4/3/2021 c18 VryUnique
They are not true werewolves. They are shapeshifters but that hasn’t been mentioned.
I guess everyone forgot about Rachel.
4/2/2021 c5 VryUnique
They slather it on a bit thick in this story. Not that I’m not enjoying the story but I keep cringing with what comes out of their mouths. Everything is like rehearsed, like a play.
4/2/2021 c3 VryUnique
The Cullens should have been asking whose baby Bella was going to have, as far as they know vampires cant have babies. They also didn’t ask how Bella was suppose to die. I think Edward and Bella could have been more clear about what was in the books, the conversation didn’t flow or sound like it made sense. If I was the siblings I would ask to read the books, they didn’t even say the pages went blank.
I’m sure this is gonna be a great story but I was more enthused after reading last chapter. They seemed so mature and concise. This chapter seemed more rushed and disjointed.
Jasper was worried about his blood lust numerous times and still want told their theories.
All the I love you’s and the simpering and fawning going on was a was a bit much. Bella walks in and calls Esme mom, too much. Esme was like your my daughter after two minutes. There just wasn’t enough interaction to promote all their reactions.
Not that I could ever write something myself.
4/2/2021 c2 VryUnique
Mmmm... I loved most of this chapter. Especially Bella’s take on money, awesome. Now we need to get her in heels. The one thing I didn’t agree with is not telling the family about the story from the books. I’m not even sure how that is possible, there are going to be a lot of things that need to be adjusted. Alice should be able to see everything that just happened.
4/2/2021 c1 VryUnique
Awww... awesome... love stories were they get the books beforehand.
11/30/2020 c6 Katherine Rosalie Hale
Where is the rest? You are missing the aftermath of the bike accident! This is a pivotal point in the story! Chapter 7 doesn't make any sense now.
10/15/2020 c31 reader303
Loved this story thank you so much for posting. So many great ideas and the pack/coven interaction was just fabulous!
10/5/2020 c1 Girl-with-the-witch-eyes
In the first chapter I mean. Also I love this story! I've read it so many times!
9/29/2020 c3 Girl-with-the-witch-eyes
Everyone must be wondering why he is being such a kiss up
5/6/2020 c1 5ImmortalGoddess76
Been searching for this story after I had forgotten to save it to favorites while reading months ago. Glad I found it again.
4/10/2020 c6 Rebecca Rowland
This is a re-read for me, so, since I know from before that this is going to be an issue, I thought I'd leave a comment about it (though I doubt I'm the first to do so)...
There appears to be a chapter missing between the current chapters 6 (Port Angeles and Dirt Bikes) and 7 (Dinner and Mental Institutions). Chapter 6 ends with the dirt bike crash but then chapter 7 picks up with wolf transformations. :/
4/3/2020 c6 20mysteryheart
well Bella is obviously super woman, Alice is bumblebee. Jasper is Spider-Man. Esme is gamora Carlisle is Superman
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