Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Prevention vs Exposition

11/10/2013 c2 1StoryWriter831
If this annoys you let me know and I won't do it again.

Ratify: I believe you meant rectify. And also, seize: cease.

Okay, so I've read the part about the Civil War multiple times and I'm still not positive that I fully understand what happened. There was a racial war between the America wizards, the British wizards intervened at the last minute to prevent the genocide of the entire magical race of Americans, and then...(this is the part that confused me) the northern half of the country, with the support of their English compatriots, prohibited everybody in the south from buying wands and receiving any sort of magical training no matter what their race. Right? But the minorities were ecstatic? Why? And was the human enslavement happening between the magical folks, as well as the Muggles? Or was that rule specifically for the Muggles?

Anyway, I admire that you're giving some historical perspective and adding to it your own magical twist. I like stories that try to give a broader view of history and intercultural happenings within the fantasy framework. It gives them a more intelligent feel and "realism", if that makes sense. I know, realism in fantasy. But my favorite author Ursula K. Le Guin, has proven to me time after time that any world, no matter how imaginary, can be realistic if the parameters of human emotion and psyche are accurately maintained.

So... I just finished. Very unique premise. I'm intrigued. In the world of fanfiction, which I obsess about but often despair over, banal plots and trite prose are the norm. Kudos on stepping away from the derivative.

If you don't like my comments don't respond to it and I'll not bother again. I've found that many people don't like constructive critiques.

Looking forward to reading more. :)
11/2/2013 c1 StoryWriter831
This is an interesting idea and beginning.

I only have to say: I hope it turns out that Ron and Hermione are both sleeping with other people and hopefully that it's consentual. Or something. Otherwise Hermione's behavior is rather contemptuous.

Great writing style, by the way. And I like how opinionated your profile page is, and agree with most of them.
9/26/2013 c3 Guest
There are lots of things unfolding in this story. I am looking forward to more.
9/25/2013 c2 14writeratheart007
I'm not quite sure I understand.. I may have to reas a cuple of more chapters to get into this but at the moment I'm confused.
9/21/2013 c1 de facto
great chapter i started reading slower towards the ending of the chapter i can't wait for the rest of the story

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service