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for Falling, Side By Side

10/12/2014 c1 7the freelance dreamer
Wow. Just, wow.

My heart hurt reading this. Your writing style is absolutely beautiful.
9/25/2013 c1 1UsuallyPassive
I have to agree with Freddo. This is some very good writing.

As for the formatting, well, at first, I thought paragraphs 1 & 2 were a single paragraph. Just to point out how important an extra empty line between each paragraph is. If this story had been any longer, and if you hadn't tricked me into feeling empathy for you by mentioning your nervousness, that single flaw would probably have turned me off your story before I even started reading.

Other than that, your paragraphs are on the longish side, but I don't think that's a bad thing. They're not exaggeratedly long, and even though I emotionally feel that they should be shorter, I'm almost certain that the feeling comes from the missing line breaks, and not the length of your paragraphs.

So all in all, an excellent one-shot. Keep on writing!

(ironically, I very nearly forgot to put an extra line break between each paragraph before posting)
9/24/2013 c1 3Orange Diary
This is great! you had no need to be nervous about it; I love it! I'm sure other people will too. the only thing is the format: the long-as last paragraph and the single line breaks makes it a bit hard to read. But all the same, you're an amazing writer. Good work!

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