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for The Hero

3/29/2015 c1 TheAnon
This is a really sweet fanfic. America is portrayed as such a sympathetic character. You did a really good job in describing his character and his likely thought-processes. It's a fluid piece of writing, enough that you can tell the character and his personality, but also not difficult to read - written in a more polished way than random thoughts, if that makes sense. It's a really good piece of writing, though.
3/22/2015 c1 19Smiling Seshat
At the beginning and the end, the paragraphs are glued together when they shouldn't be.
3/19/2015 c1 Me
This is really interesting. I love this character portrayal. Poor America, though.
12/2/2014 c1 lunarshores
(disclaimer: I've never watched this XD)

Let me start off by saying I really like the emotion you've put in this. I've never seen the show, but you gave me a very nice picture of America and his relationships with the other nations in a very small number of words, and that is definitely something to be proud of.

I have a few suggestions to consider for your next piece if you don't mind. The center-aligned text is a little strange and a bit jarring to read, and it would be nice if you have paragraph breaks (just an empty line between each paragraph). Formatting things like this are only noticed if you don't do them and can really distract readers from the wonderful story and the emotion you're trying to show them. Additionally, it's a good idea to make new paragraphs for each different speaker when writing dialogue.

Content-wise, I really couldn't comment on the characterization, but I really liked the style you used to write this, though for a longer fic it might get a little too choppy. The short sentences really give it a stream of consciousness feel without shoving it in your face. It really works well with the subject matter. It made your story so much more powerful, and it was very well done.

You did a wonderful job on this, and I am sure you'll be writing great things in the future
9/26/2013 c1 Guest
Waaaaaahhhhh! So beautiful!
9/25/2013 c1 26Justaway Ninja
I feel sorry for America. He's a naive, young child placed in a position of power which he has no experience in handling. The other, more experienced countries sitting beneath him during World Meetings... I wonder what it must feel like. England, the Empire where the Sun never Sets, who had once swept through the whole world. France, the big brother of Europe, Russia, whose strength had once been on par with the United States... China, 4000 years worth of history, culture, and development, all of them sitting underneath a barely 300 year old country who is now the boss of the World.

... I wonder if they feel bitter... You have inspired me, Lady Prentiss. Thank you. :D

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