7/2/2014 c1 5On the write lines
I liked the way you described the classroom as being packed with stuff including a stuffed camel. This description was great - The sky was beginning to darken revealing the full moon in its beautiful glory not yet shining to its full potential.

What got in the way of reading this was missing words, tenses used and spacing between words. It's nothing that can't be fixed quickly, but I think it will give the reader an easier time in the long run.

For example

Man,I'm bored...were my thoughts as I leaned back in my chair and putted my feet on the desk.

Past tense is put - you don't need to add a double consonant. Some others I spotted: The final bell rang. I froze in mid step and my heart beat raced. I tried to run away to no avail. As the darkness started to overtake me.

Remember to re-read your sentences to check you haven't missed out any words or spaces such as - yelledmyhistory,aold lady with a furyofa hundred warriors.

Could be:
Yelled my history teacher. She was an old lady, but her screaming sounded like the fury of a hundred warriors charging into battle!

Coming back to -Man,I'm bored...were my thoughts as I leaned back in my chair and putted my feet on the desk.

Try to add a little more detail - Man, I'm bored! I thought leaning back in my chair. Two heavy feet thumped onto the desk soon after making the pencils shake. Looking out the window I barely noticed the sky as my head was too clouded with sad thoughts.

I'm no expert in punctuation, knowing where to put commas gives me nightmares! Having said that a review is meant to help us become better writers. Good luck with the next chapter. Maybe you could ask a beta to check things through for you? All the best.

10/7/2013 c1 1Aneko Okami
Of course what otaku doesnt get sucked into a hole everyonce and a while ;)